Worries (for small issues) consuming my life..

LegacyUser

Hi,

I am pretty certain I have OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). I'm a young guy and I constantly become obsessed and depressed over what would seem to be the most minor things in life. Different things take my focus all the time and I always end up dwelling on them for weeks sometimes months on end. When something happens and I know I cannot go back and change it I can get very upset. It fills my thoughts (especially during the nights) and I go into deep depression. Sometimes I spend hours thinking about how to fix the issue/concern to give myself some relief. When I realize that I can't fix it, all hope is lost for me at that stage and I go back to the deep regret and wishing I had done things different.. I feel that everything bad (in the most permanent sense) always happens to me and regret just eats me up..

For example here is what is taking over my thoughts and making me miserable at the moment..

Recently I managed to cut myself above my upper lip while shaving, obviously resulting in a small wound (well not that small..). Shortly after doing this I realized the possibility of it leaving a scar.. One of the most permanent things that can happen to the body! This is the last thing I need as I have enough small scars on my face from my regretful habit of scab picking when I was younger, and now I could have another one right in the center of my face!! And it would all be due to my stupid mistake!! My self esteem is low as it is so this is terribly upsetting for me. I immediately went into depression and have been in this state for the past few days... Other things can come in and affect me at the same time so they combine with my main focus and make every hour of my life even worse.

I have tried to get help in the past but it never got anywhere.

Just wanted to share my problem with you. Though it might help me a bit. Maybe someone else out there has a similar issue?

Jimmy Bottlehead

Do you feel you obsess over things that in your head, you know they shouldn't matter, but that you obsess over anyways?

If so, why not look into Cognitive Behavoural Therapy? PM me for details if you want.

JMCD

Unregistered wrote: »

I have tried to get help in the past but it never got anywhere.

Really mate? Like where? Im sure there is someone out there able to help you out or even someone who you could talk to and help ya. Dont keep things like that bottled up its so damagging, Im sure somebody is willing to help ya!

LegacyUser

Jimmy Bottlehead wrote: »

Do you feel you obsess over things that in your head, you know they shouldn't matter, but that you obsess over anyways?

If so, why not look into Cognitive Behavoural Therapy? PM me for details if you want.

Well it's very hard to explain. I know that some things are minor issues because I would be embarrassed to tell anyone about them. They affect me no matter what.. and nothing I tell myself makes any difference.

As far as the scar worry I have now.. That is a big issue to me because it would permanently affect the way I look and I am very sensitive about my looks.. I have and will continue to spend the days leading up to when the cut heals monitoring it and worrying about it until I find out the result... If it leaves a scar I will get EXTREMELY upset and frustrated.. It will then lead on to further weeks of depression..

JMCD, I have seen doctors about it and they have tried to help change the way I deal with things but without success. I have never tried medication btw. Also I have told members of my family about my problem. They are well aware of it. Although I don't explain every worry to them as many issues I worry over are embarrassing (eg. the cut..).

LegacyUser

Hey I can sympathize with you totally. I have been going through the exact same thing my whole life-well for as long as i can remember. It affected my childhood considerably(although at the time i had no idea what it was). Its like you are constantly obsessing about one thing or another. For me it started out with rituals, for example checking plugs before i went to bed for fear the house would go on fire and then when i went to bed convincing myself i didnt check right and having to do it all over again. I dealt with this myself but i find that as i got older while being able to cope with it better, it just manifested itself in different ways. For example I cant go out with my friends for a few drinks because I find that if i do and whilst under the influence i do one silly thing or say something random i will be constantly thinking about it, obsessing over it and wishing i could change it for weeks.And I agree wholeheartedly with you, it is far worse at night time. I have never got help, Im 20 years old and have discussed it with my parents-my dad in particular was a major support to me, but I havent gone down the medical road. I have found my life slightly altered by the disease but I have developed my own coping mechanisms which see me through and help me to combat the thoughts fears and anxieties which manifest themselves as a form of ocd. However it has been a long and ardous journey, one which has perhaps made me stronger but which I wouldnt wish on my worst enemy. All I can say is that, if you find yourself unable to deal go to a good counsellor-I have read that CBT is extremely effective in combatting the effects of the illness.

Hope this helps:)

Messed Up Mind

I think the "small" things that you are reacting to, such as a cut on your face, leading to how your appearance may be affected and so on, may be as a result of something far bigger that is occupying your mind. Maybe it's something that you're not even aware of at the minute. I'd say that maybe counselling is the way to go.

If you go to your G.P., they can refer you a local mental health clinic where in turn you can see a counsellor. They can give you the best help. Good luck with it.

dreamer_ire

Agree with Messed Up Mind... none of us here are qualified to offer you help, you need to go to a professional and talk to them. Start with your GP

LegacyUser

OP again..

Thanks again for the responses. And thank you Unreg poster for sharing your very similar issue with me. That was the real purpose of this thread. I needed to hear from people experiencing this disorder (or whatever it should be called). What you described is pretty much exactly what I am suffering. If anyone else can relate please do let me know.

LegacyUser

Hey OP, I feel your pain mate. I've suffered from OCD all my life. Worrying about small things, rituals rituals and hours of wasted time. What makes it worse is you KNOW the thoughts are ridiculous, but can't stop. It's driven me to tears and trying to explain it to friends is tough because they think it's just like you'd see on TV.

I'm almost 30 now and it's not quite so bad anymore now I have my life on track, but from time to time it still effects me.

I've been thinking about getting CBT to help with this for a few months now so if you go for it, I'd love to hear your thoughts on it.

LegacyUser

Add me to that list too, I was always aware of it, and because I felt it wasn't having an adverse effect on my life, I made a laugh of it. I felt that recognising it was the biggest step to dealing with it. Lately though, I'm beginning to realise that a lot of other deeper issues going back many years, that I thought were unconnected, in fact probably were connected, and I may suffer more than I realised. Where can I get this Cognitive thingy, how much does it cost, and how do I know I'm getting a good one?

LegacyUser

Hey mate, you've made a big step already by challenging the issue and telling family. The biggest fear I have is how other people see you(how about you?) and whether they really understand how you have no control over the situation. Thats why getting it out in the open is very beneficial. It sends out a message, 'yes I have an illness but I'll overcome it and will be better for it'. You are as normal as anyone else and shouldn't let it ruin your life. You will overcome it and should be applauded for your bravery. Its crushing to say the least and effects people in different ways, some just obsess and others can get the compulsion end of the scale where they feel they have to repeat stuff out loud or in their head, or constant hand washing too(some examples). Some people get both too. I use suffer but with sheer deterimation I overcame it, when I felt obsessive I just said to myself "No stop you're being foolish" and if you do it enough it will stick. The thing that pulls me down is the fact I never told anyone and while I hid it well, sometimes the compulsions could take place outside home. Now I'm afarid people might have seen me obsessing and think bad of me. I no longer suffer with OCD, my only obsatcle is to now to say to myself, "right I had an illness but overcame it and if some people can't understand my situation then who cares?" Read some of the OCD forums and they will help. Don't let it fester. Good luck mate
P.S. To take your mind off it, I can honestly say going for a run can do wonders.

LegacyUser

Unregistered wrote: »

Hey mate, you've made a big step already by challenging the issue and telling family. The biggest fear I have is how other people see you(how about you?) and whether they really understand how you have no control over the situation. Thats why getting it out in the open is very beneficial. It sends out a message, 'yes I have an illness but I'll overcome it and will be better for it'. You are as normal as anyone else and shouldn't let it ruin your life. You will overcome it and should be applauded for your bravery.

I completely agree with you on this point,Can I ask do you ever feel that people think you are self absorbed...not saying you are but i always feel that people think this of me when i try and talk to people about it.As a compulsion im forced to constantly appolagise which is very embaressing.OP I can assure you that if you get help from an occupational therapist,you will see improvement in yourself(granted it takes time)... you need patience but you will get there.. good luck

bootsy11

dreamer_ire wrote: »

Agree with Messed Up Mind... none of us here are qualified to offer you help, you need to go to a professional and talk to them. Start with your GP

Don't worry, it could be worse!
*SNIP* silliness.

Wibbs

bootsy11 please read the charter of this forum before posting again. Posts like this again will get you a banning. Thanks