So is this the norm?

LegacyUser

Hi
I dont know whether I should be on PI but here goes, I will be in my job a year in January and I am miserable. My boss seems appears to really dislike me and I cant figure why. I have never refused to do any work and stay late whenever needed. I also never miss deadlines. I was in my job a while before my boss came in. After about 2 weeks she made it clear that she did not think much of me. She called a meeting with me, (refusing to tell me what it was about when I asked) and criticised all my past work. I never had any problems before then.She is abrupt and moody, I never know what she will be like towards me and I am always waiting for the next criticism. I constantly have to humour her.She has twice presumed I didnt do work which I had done and sent to her (there was a problem with her email) but she didnt ask me about the work, I got bitchy phone calls/emails alluding to the fact and I hadnt a clue what was wrong because I had already met my deadline. When I took annual leave to visit my sister in Germany, she gave me so much work to do my last day before the holiday that I had to stay in work until 9.30pm even though my flight was at 6 in the morning and She didnt look at this work while I was away. Some of the others on my team find her difficult and some have no problem but I seem to have the most problems with her. I often wonder if my last manager didnt like me and said something, but again it wouldnt merit her attitude to me.
I am not perfect, I sometimes make mistakes , when I do it is the end of the world and I have had a couple of meetings with her where I come out feeling humiliated. I can be on occasion a bit scattered but my work is good. I feel drained trying to be what they want and need from me and it has gotten to the stage where Saturday afternoons I am dreading Monday.

Sorry for the length, am I over sensitive? Is this standard managerial methods to keep staff in line or something? Also to leave a job after a one year, does it look bad at my age? This is my first job after my masters and I am 29. The longest I have stayed in a job, due a career change, is just under 2 years, the economy is bad so I cant afford to leave until I have a job to go to.

Thanks for any advice

mickyt

Sounds like your boss is a right cow to be honest. seems like nothing will please her.

What I will say is, if you are certain she is treating you unfairly, then you either need to bring it up directly to her to air out your issues, or else you need to bring it to the attention of your HR department, because it is a form of bullying.

Now all this is just from the post I have read, but if everything is as discussed and your mistakes are the same as anyone else in your department, then you need to bring it to a head soon..

In relation to her email being broke etc.. once you can show her your sent items, you have proof that it was sent at the right time.

Good Luck with it though.

AngryBadger

If you're turning in work on time and she's creating a fuss then she's out of line. You have a few options.

1) Talk to her yourself - personally I'd consider this a waste of time, if someone is being this unreasonable then talking to them is probably just giving them a heads-up

2) Talk to whoever her superior is - in this instance I'd consider this your best option. Have a list of incidents, not every single niggling little thing, but some of the bigger ones where she complained, or left messages regarding work that you had already submitted. Make it clear that you simply want to highlight what's going on because you're not comfortable coming into work everyday with this going on.

3) Try and work around her in as much as you can, I usually find this is the best option. Most of us have encountered pillocks like your boss, rather than confronting them, you're often better off just letting it slide. I can understand that it's frustrating and demoralising, but if you can get to a place in your own head where you know that your work is done to a professional standard well then you have nothing to worry about, so what do you care if she's the original bitch?

LegacyUser

Hi OP

I dont usually reply but I was in a very similar situation to yourself so I thought that I would share my experience.

I was in a job, I was good at the job and I actually got a promotion. My manager never changed and she was still above me. However, she seemed threatened by the fact that I was "moving up the ranks" and did everything in her power to undermine me, intimidate me, pick holes in my work when there were none. She would bad mouth me to my fellow colleagues behind my back and was extremely unprofessional.

I stayed in the job for a further couple months but was so miserable. It came to a head and I called a meeting with her manager who happened to be the owner who basically told me that yes she was bullying me but that he wouldnt sack her as she had been there longer and held a more senior position than me and I could either like it or lump it. I resigned then and there as I felt I had no support from him either.

I honestly think that some times this type of behaviour can stem a multitude of reasons but the main one is probably jealousy. Either that or she isnt happy in her personal life and is taking it out on you.

If there is a neutral party in work you could speak to (a HR dept) seek advice, but please dont take it personally and dont feel you are doing anything wrong.

Good luck!

jim o doom

I also have a total douche for a boss - but I am personnally difficult, aggressive & argumentative if someone is being a douche to me. On that basis I have had at least 2 serious arguments with her with me getting VERY angry & one instance of me being plain rude to her in front of another boss.Since then I have received less crap from her because she probably thinks it's not worth it if I am going to go so mental every time. but that might get you in trouble as well - this isn't a plan of action for me, I just get REAL angry with d!ckheads.

lollb

i have had a similar problem before. what you need to do is keep a diary of everything that she says or does to you however small make sure it is written in the correct date and timed. I would then speak to her and tell her you are unhappy with the way she speaks / treats you and that you want to to cease. i would also tell her superior about the problems confidentialy before you speak to her, my horrible boss backed down after i confronted her, however if it presists go to her superior with you diary.

best of luck i know how you feel

LegacyUser

Hey thanks for the replies,

I am trying to be objective, so I want to make clear that I am not perfect and sometimes mistakes are made on my part but I definitely think my work is at the same standard as other peoples. Again I need to state that I am a bit scattered and I work hard at my organisational skills that being my weakest point, however it does not affect my work because I am aware of this weak point.The area I am in is very specialised so all of us came in as novices but I have learned quickly. With regard to reporting it, there is only one person above her and he deals with all HR as well as being the CEO (we are a small new company, the departments are small so he didnt employ specific HR employees) I learned quickly from people not to report anything to him because it wont be dealt with, I have seen it in action. Basically she is only technically answerable to him but not in practise. Anyhow thanks for the feedback, I just want to see if this is "the norm". I am also keeping an eye out for jobs in the mean time.

Lollipops23

are you in a union?this is bullying, you need to pursue it.

Eoin

Unregistered wrote: »

Sorry for the length, am I over sensitive? Is this standard managerial methods to keep staff in line or something? Also to leave a job after a one year, does it look bad at my age? This is my first job after my masters and I am 29. The longest I have stayed in a job, due a career change, is just under 2 years, the economy is bad so I cant afford to leave until I have a job to go to.

There's been lots of good advice already, so I'll just add this:

No, you're not being over sensitive, it sounds like bad management. Unfortunately too many people get promoted to management positions based on their experience / years of service etc without any thought of what their personal skills are. People management is a skill in its own right, and some people are just not cut out for it, no matter how experienced they are in other matters.

I think that a year in a job is reasonable enough, and wouldn't look bad on your CV.

You would be dead right not to leave until you find something, but you might find that as soon as you make your mind up to look around, the stress may not be as bad knowing that you are on the hunt. Obviously, Christmas isn't a great time to be on the market, so it will most likely be mid Jan before things pick up (depending on the industry).

SpookyDoll

Hey OP.

She sounds like a right nasty piece of work, the only bit of advice I have for you is to stop sucking up to her and dont be such a Johnny on the spot.

She's badmouthing you anyway and wants you to fail so whats the point jumping through hoop after hoop trying to please the whimsys of an evil aul cow like her anyway.

You might as well get hung for a sheep as a lamb so stop making the deadlines and doing everything she says, she is only taking the pi$$ out of you anyway.

Form other allies and let them know she is bullying you. Draw her attention to you as little as possible, she might get bored or move on hopefully.

jessbeth

I really sounds like you're being unfairly treated. I would hate to be in a situation like this.

I would take my courage and ask to meet with her, then ask her straight out what her problem is. Prepare in advance and make notes about what you want to ask so that she'll see you've thought this true and the notes will give you the chance to handle this as diplomatically as you can from your perspective.

If she just treats you nastily during this, I would just go over her head.

If you feel uncomfortable doing this, is there somebody in the company who handles bullying. Usually all companies nowadays have a person that you can speak to if you're feeling mistreated in some area.

Best of Luck.

cantdecide

You should never ever feel humiliated at work. You are clearly being bullied.

Even if you assume for a second that you're pretty useless at your job, constantly making mistakes and missing deadlines- the correct answer is verbal warnings, written warnings and eventually, the sack. This can all happen without having to make you feel humiliated controlled or manipulated or low level bitching.

Someone was let go from here recently for constant mistakes- he just didn't have enough discipline and didn't much care about the job and it was obvious. He didn't have to bullied or humiliated. He was let go and left on good terms.

You need to bring this to the attention of your employer before you have a confrontation where no one wins.

ladiee24

hey OP sorry to hear about your situation it is not a nice one! she's defo in the wrong! i work in recruitment & times are tough out there keep your job search discreet as possible! don't give her any amo to use against you. a year is definatley ok to look for a new role however don't state this as your reason for leaving you've metioned it's a small company just play on that fact that you'd like to get into a larger organisation & you'll be flying!