Should I find out the sex

wolfpawnat

My boyfriend amd I are going for our baby's scan on Friday week. We are excited because last scan was a 8 weeks so we hadnt a chance to find out the gender, now we do and we are about 60:40 sure we want to find out.
How did other parents decide whether or not to find out.

6th

It wont ruin the surprise if you find out because ...well ... on the day you'll be getting a baby so it wont matter a red cent. If you do decide to find out though it may not be accurate so any gender specific prep you do could all be for nothing.

Myself and Mrs. 6th knew on both our 2 and I dont think it spoiled anything knowing.

axer

6th wrote: »

it may not be accurate so any gender specific prep you do could all be for nothing.

OP, make sure you keep this part in mind. If it is a girl don't go buying a load of pink stuff etc because they can be wrong.

littlebug

we found out with both our two and it didn't make a bit of difference... giving birth to a baby was still a big shock nice surprise on the day! I think "boy" or "girl" seemed less abstract than "baby" to my OH so he was able to bond better with the unknown entity for some reason. We didn't buy any colour specific clothes in advance and we told nobody so it was still a surprise for everyone else.

Lizzykins

I never wanted to know! It would have been like opening my Christmas presents before Christmas Day! I ended up with boy,girl,boy,girl and each time I had no idea what I was having!

deisemum

I found out on second pregnancy that I was having a boy. It was a very clear scan so there wasn't any doubt. Sometimes depending on the way baby is positioned can make it difficult to know for sure.

I'm so glad I found out what I was having, I already had a boy and second time round I felt that as I knew it was also a boy that he had more of an identity when he was born than first time round.

Dfens

We didn't want to know with both of our, fancied a surprise after going through the labour.
I was convinced No. 1 was going to be a boy but turned out to be a girl, but on No. 2 pregnancy bump was very different & everyone said I was having a boy - correct.
+1 on sex determination accuracy, sometimes the cord can look like a little pe**s depending on presentation.

Dades

I figured finding out would be a great way for me (as a prospective Dad) to bond more with "the hump"!

So we found out and from that day onwards the hump became our daughter.

Makes naming easier too!

wolfpawnat

We have the names as good as chosen, it would really just be about stop calling the baby it and actually use the names, I'm not into buying loads of a certain colour clothes either, I'm a bit supersticious about it.

I feel sorry for if its a girl, I hate pink! but the dad wants it to be a girlie girl if it is one:D

babyboom

I didn't find out on my three, I had girl, boy, boy. I was sure no. 1 was going to be a boy and sure no. 3 was going to be a girl, how wrong can you be? I'm glad I didn't know. However, if I was to get pregnant again (God forbid) I would probably find out. I love my kids to bits but my boys are really a handful and I would want to know in advance if I was having another boy so I could brace myself! Best of luck with the pregnancy!

MrsA

I am almost 23 weeks pregnant and I am having a boy. I love knowing who is in there, he has a name that only my husband and I use, he is already part of our future plans as himself.

I could never not know what I was having, but, everyone is different.

I don't think it can however be compared to opening your presents before Christmas - not even in the same league.

We found out it was a boy and we both shed tears, when he comes out we will both shed tears again, we get twice the magic. I don't need the mystery of who is in there to get me through labour, what will get me through, is the fact that I get to meet my little boy at the end.

M

deisemum

I'm too nosy and would have to find out, why should the medical staff know while I'm left wondering?

Trinity

deisemum wrote: »

I found out on second pregnancy that I was having a boy. It was a very clear scan so there wasn't any doubt. Sometimes depending on the way baby is positioned can make it difficult to know for sure.

I'm so glad I found out what I was having, I already had a boy and second time round I felt that as I knew it was also a boy that he had more of an identity when he was born than first time round.

Same here. Found out on my 2nd but instinctively i knew what both were anyway. (boys)

I have mixed emotions about finding out though as i was having a planned section so not only did i know the sex i also knew the date and time he was being born!! Didnt leave much room for surprises

TargetWidow

A friend was told she was having a girl and gave birth to a boy last week. The bad part was that she had bought everything in pink. I personally didnt want to know when I was pregnant. I loved meeting my DD for the first time and would do it the same way again.

gerrycollins

for our first we didnt want to know could care less what came out so long as it was a baby. it was a girl and she was the first grandchild on my side and the first in 13 yrs on her side so needless to say she was doted on.

so when no. 2 came a knocking we went for a 3D scan and it was obvious that it was a boy so that made life easier as we could prepare our 2yr old for what was coming. the day I brought her into the hospital to see her brother she was straight away saying his name much to the delight/surprise of our families(we never told them).

Trinity

gerrycollins wrote: »

for our first we didnt want to know could care less what came out so long as it was a baby. it was a girl and she was the first grandchild on my side and the first in 13 yrs on her side so needless to say she was doted on.

so when no. 2 came a knocking we went for a 3D scan and it was obvious that it was a boy so that made life easier as we could prepare our 2yr old for what was coming. the day I brought her into the hospital to see her brother she was straight away saying his name much to the delight/surprise of our families(we never told them).

Yes if you are finding out dont tell anyone. My OH didnt know what to say when he rang people they knew it was a boy and what time he was arriving so he just rang and said eh hes out now

embee

I found out and don't regret it at all, but having said that, I was absolutely sure beyond any doubt that I was having a girl. When I had the scan and was told it was a girl, I wasn't even surprised, but it was still nice to be told with almost certain accuracy.

We still managed to keep it a secret though - I went through the whole pregnancy calling her "the baby" and I never bought pink anything at all - stuck to yellows and whites (though I did buy some pink babygrows and hide them away).

I loved being able to have her name chosen months in advance too.... just knowing I was having a daughter made me feel closer to the baby in my womb. That's a personal thing though - I know loads of parents to be who really wanted to keep it a surprise and that's wonderful too!

Nevyn

On my frist I didn't want to know ether way but I knew I was having a boy.
Second time around I really wanted a girl and even as I figured I was I didn't want the scan as I didn't want to be upset or disapointed during the pregnancy.

I was over joyed when I was told she was a girl and she was put up on my chest moments after she was delievered.

MrsA

Thaedydal wrote: »

Second time around I really wanted a girl and even as I figured I was I didn't want the scan as I didn't want to be upset or disapointed during the pregnancy.

Are you honestly saying you would have been upset and dissapointed if they had told you during a scan that you were having a perfectly healthy boy?

I guess I am coming at this from the side of someone who found it hard to get pregnant the first time, and then when I was lucky enough to get pregnant again the next time I was just so happy to be having another baby the sex really was not relevant.

M

wolfpawnat

I m so nervous, I really don't care as long as the baby is healthy you know, but at the same time I have always wanted a son. I love little boys clothes and football jerseys, but if it was a girl I would treat her like a little princess too, only thing is I know nothing about girlie stuff because I spent my life in the mud like a boy:)

Nevyn

MrsA wrote: »

Are you honestly saying you would have been upset and dissapointed if they had told you during a scan that you were having a perfectly healthy boy?

Yes.

MrsA wrote: »

I guess I am coming at this from the side of someone who found it hard to get pregnant the first time, and then when I was lucky enough to get pregnant again the next time I was just so happy to be having another baby the sex really was not relevant.

M

I only ever intend on having two children and I wanted a daughter.
If I had of had a second son I would have loved and cherished him utterly
but still would have been disappointed that I did not have a daughter.
Thankfully I got want I wanted and now I am done.

littlebug

Thaedydal wrote: »

On my frist I didn't want to know ether way but I knew I was having a boy.
Second time around I really wanted a girl and even as I figured I was I didn't want the scan as I didn't want to be upset or disapointed during the pregnancy.

I was over joyed when I was told she was a girl and she was put up on my chest moments after she was delievered.

Funny that's exactly why I found out what I was having second time round.
I knew I really wanted a boy and I was afraid of being disappointed when the baby was born if it was a girl.

neosmaster

We found out when we were pregnant with our little boy and from then on our little bump bacame known as Cayden to only us as our little family secret.We told no-one else so it was a surprise for them.We didn't buy anything blue but we did decorate the nursery ( and lock it ) before baby was born.
As most other posters said here it won't matter one little bit when your baby is born because it won't be a boy or a girl it will be a " Oh my God we just had the most beautiful little baby"

Best of luck to you both.
P.S - 1 little tip - If you do find out don't tell anyone that you actually know ( like we did ) because for 6 months both our families and friends kept trying to trick us into letting slip that we were having a boy or girl.
So tell evertone that you didn't find even if you do.

Sleepy

We found out as my partner already had two boys and was starting to get her hopes up for a girl. We thought it best to find out so she'd have time to get used to the idea if it was a boy. We have a beautiful little girl now but if it had been a boy he'd have been loved just as much...

Moonbeam

wolfpawnat wrote: »

I m so nervous, I really don't care as long as the baby is healthy you know, but at the same time I have always wanted a son. I love little boys clothes and football jerseys, but if it was a girl I would treat her like a little princess too, only thing is I know nothing about girlie stuff because I spent my life in the mud like a boy:)

I feel the exact same way:)
Though all the little girls clothes are just soo lovely:)
I have no idea until I get to say hello to him or her.

stovelid

wolfpawnat wrote: »

I m so nervous, I really don't care as long as the baby is healthy you know, but at the same time I have always wanted a son. I love little boys clothes and football jerseys, but if it was a girl I would treat her like a little princess too, only thing is I know nothing about girlie stuff because I spent my life in the mud like a boy:)

We found out it was a boy at the 3 month scan. My partner was convinced it was a boy up to that point too. It's good to be forewarned in some ways, but I inadvertently said he a few times to a friend. What really gave the game away was my pathetic attempts to cover it /explain it, rather than just brazening it out. Most people will just say he or she, no matter what the sex, so don't get caught out.

metrovelvet

My friend's landlady [54 years old] just had a baby girl. She conceived twin girls, one died. She wanted boys. If it werent her last hurrah she would have aborted the girl after she saw the scan and now she is considerting taking out a lawsuit against the IVF clinic.

The pursuit of happiness,eh?

littlebug

metrovelvet wrote: »

My friend's landlady [54 years old] just had a baby girl. She conceived twin girls, one died. She wanted boys. If it werent her last hurrah she would have aborted the girl after she saw the scan and now she is considerting taking out a lawsuit against the IVF clinic.

The pursuit of happiness,eh?

Jaysus:eek: What would she sue them for?

metrovelvet

Not giving her a boy. Apparantly there is a way to pre-select the sperm. She paid 20K for this. She asked for one thing and she got another.

Scoobydoobydoo

It's long time ago now, but I found out because I wanted to plan, to be able to buy a lot of blue stuff for a boy etc. But also, I had no morning sickness, and didn't feel pregnant, so to be told the gender made it more real for me. All that may sound daft, but that's my personality, so it was right for me, and I have never had any regrets about it. The idea of it being a surprise doesn't mean anything to me - there's nothing more of a surprise or more exciting than the new experience of having a baby, so in the scheme of things, I think knowing the gender early doesn't spoil anything! You can always decide when you're there on the day, you'll probably just know on the spot if it's what you want.

littlebug

metrovelvet wrote: »

Not giving her a boy. Apparantly there is a way to pre-select the sperm. She paid 20K for this. She asked for one thing and she got another.

My God. I know I said above that I wanted a boy second time round but if I'd had a girl would have loved her to bits too. I'd have been sad at the idea of never having a boy but I wouldn't love a daughter any less.
There was a documentary on gender selection a while back... head wrecking stuff if you start thinking about it from a moral and ethical point of view.

metrovelvet

^ The whole thing is terrifying really as we are more and more able to pre genetically determine our offspring.

kelle

I wanted to know for each of mine, and I was able to have access to ultrasound in my workplace. Though they got it wrong for my first baby! It really annoyed me when people said "It's good enough for you" or "That'll teach you!". It's not a criminal thing to want to find out, and those who don't shouldn't be judgemental towards those who do!!!
It's a matter of personal choice - do what you feel is right.

wolfpawnat

kelle wrote: »

I wanted to know for each of mine, and I was able to have access to ultrasound in my workplace. Though they got it wrong for my first baby! It really annoyed me when people said "It's good enough for you" or "That'll teach you!". It's not a criminal thing to want to find out, and those who don't shouldn't be judgemental towards those who do!!!
It's a matter of personal choice - do what you feel is right.

God I would have smacked them, how dare they say something as rude as that. People are asking me do I know the gender and when I tell them I'll know on Friday I get told "ah dont it'll ruin the surprise" I think being told I was pregnant to begin with shocked me enough!:) I get to decide if I want to find out not them!

We are as good as convinced its a boy, (my boyfriends dad died around the time i got pregnant) so we believe its one, not that we would give out if it was a girl. Although I wouldnt know what to do as my boyfriend wants a daddys little pink princess if it is:L If its a boy, we want a sports jersey wearing little man! its all so exciting regardless.

My boyfriends sister is demanding that we not tell her though if we find out because she wants a surprise. But thats fair enough, at least shes not slamming it down our throats not to find out in the first place

stovelid

wolfpawnat wrote: »

My boyfriends sister is demanding that we not tell her though if we find out because she wants a surprise.

As I said, we found out. I don't really get the surprise thing myself. You get a boy or a girl; a 50-50 chance. I don't really see the big benefit of waiting, but each to their own.