Getting a bit, erm, close at work

LegacyUser

I've never really been one for relationships. With trying to progress in a fairly competitive career field and not wanting to stay where I live now forever, it's just not been at the top of my mind. At 24, I've had one "serious" relationship and a few short-term flings that were never really going to develop into anything more.

Anyway, I started a new job in Dublin about a month ago. Because it's a tiny start-up company with only six or seven employees and just us two in our department, I'm working very closely alongside one particular colleague for most of the day. We both started at the same time, when the firm opened. Since we've been in the same little room every day for a month, we've talked an awful lot and I've kind of come to like her. As I say, I'm not particularly "looking", as it were, so it's quite something for me to even take a passing interest in someone!

She seems different to most other people I know. She's pretty and very intelligent, she makes me laugh and I her, she's bright and sweet-natured but she's got this fiery underbelly to her personality that makes me go a bit weak at the knees. And we're almost exactly the same age and both fairly long-term single.

Normally, I'd be sensible and heed the age-old rule that work people are off limits, there's just too much danger of irreparable damage to a professional relationship, but this is quite strange to me. Just recently, in the last week or so, she seems to have started acting a bit more affectionately towards me. She sits really close, so close our legs often press together, and often reaches out and brushes my arm as we talk. I don't reciprocate - I'd be too scared! My rational side says she's just more comfortable around me after a month, but my emotional side wonders whether by not reciprocating these affectionate little gestures I'm going to miss a chance to get closer to someone I've grown quite fond of. I'm quite a shy person, really...

Help! (And I hope she's not a closet Boardsie!)

[Jackass]

For god sakes do it man!!!

What is this unic sexless solo life you have commited yourself to and why???

None of us wake up one morning, stretch and say "uuuuuuhhhhhhhhh, yup. I think todays the day I'll choose my wife."

Just because you're not looking doesn't mean you shouldn't explore a great oppertunity that lands infront of you - I mean come on! Christopher Columbos wasn't looking for America, but by god did he find it!

By the sounds of it she is doing some catious flirting. You don't need to do much, if your legs touch, then just dont move your leg. If she brushes off you when you pass, smile or do the same next time she passes you. Christmas party coming up! Don't get too drunk, but have the craic with her for the night (you don't even need to make a move or anything, probably not a good idea anyway at a work do, but just pay lots of attention to her and spend the night having the crack! As I presume you've never gone drinking together before this is a grea oppertunity to develop the "friendship".

Then eventually ask her out - a simple "Fancy a drink after work on Friday?" innoent enough but will get you alone time if she agrees (and she'll know the score, so wont say yeah if she has no interest) and then just let nature take its course.

But it sounds like she's interested and it sounds like you have met somebody you could be very interested in, so the only wrong thing you can do here is not explore it!!!

evil-monkey

If you ya really wana go for it you will anyway so no point me giving ya the usual lecture on relationships in the workplace.

I think this post speaks for itself man. Come back and post again when you've gone out a few times and we'll see how it all turned out...

Mr. Incognito

Suggest post work pints......... see what happens

evil-monkey

Mr. Incognito wrote: »

Suggest post work pints......... see what happens

lol...q the Vintner's Federation of Ireland advert...

Cpaw

Your work relationship would be ruined. Don't mix business with pleasure.

Wagon

Cpaw wrote: »

Your work relationship would be ruined. Don't mix business with pleasure.

**** work, there's more important things in life! Go for it!

helimachoptor

Op as said above, just ask her does she want to go for a few pints after work on a friday, now here is the important bit!!

Ask her on the Thursday/Wednesday as if you ask on the day it may seem like you just want to go and get hammered! Pre planning it may make her think that you want more than a few beers with a buddy and her reaction should give you some insight into her interest/lack of interest in pursuing something.

Best of luck!

JDLK

People can make the work/relationship thing work (even though it is pretty dodgy at the best of times) so normally I would say go for it but in your case Id say dont do it. Your case is different because theres only 2 people (ie you and her) in your dept which means in order for your dept to perform successfully the 2 of you need to be performing at your best and have agood working relationship. If you do start seeing her and it goes pear shaped its not the same as other office romances where the person is part of a big dept or even part of a completely different dept and all you need to do is avoid them.

If your professional relationship sours then I assume your work will suffer (which is natural) but you make up 50% of your dept and if her work also suffers then 100% of the dept performance will drop- which in business terms is pretty bad and could reult in you both getting fired