One night stands

LegacyUser

I'm trying these days to stop having so many one night stands. The problem is that I love going out drinking etc with my mates and once I'm out and about in bars and clubs and drunk I often ending up going off and having sex with some girl I just met. It hasn't been just once or twice, its most weekends and often different girls on the friday and saturday nite. I realise I can't blame it on the drinking alone. I use protection most of the time but not always due to being so drunk. I'm worried if I don't cut out this behaviour I'm either gonna catch something or get some stranger pregnant - both nightmare scenarios.
Has anyone had similiar experience? I suppose what I'm lookin for is any advice on how to stop being such a 'man-slut'
Thanks^^

petethebrick

There's nothing wrong with having one night stands although you're obviously fed up with havin them if you want to stop. Have you often been in a relationship? maybe that might set you the straight and narrow a bit.

Sleeping around without protection is asking for trouble though. Especially with the sort of girls you must be meeting who are into one night stands. Remember without protection you're not just sleepin with them but with whoever else they've done similar with in the past.

Nevyn

You may already have been infected with an sti it only take once.
I suggest you go get yourself tested.

Partizan

OP, you have acted like a twat over the last while. If you have an STD its your just rewards for behaving so irresponsibly.


What happened to your self respect?

What is it that they say about karma?

LegacyUser

I know I've acted like a twat. I think it's a bit harsh to say I deserve to catch an sti. Everone makes mistakes. Have gotten checked out recently and waitin on results.
I get so annoyed at myself every time but then go out and do it again. Maybe I need to cut out going out getting drunk until I get some control over it. I'm determined not to be doing this again...but then I've said that before...just lookin to hear from anyone with advice.
Thanks

homerun_homer

Unregistered wrote: »

Has anyone had similiar experience? I suppose what I'm lookin for is any advice on how to stop being such a 'man-slut'

Quite simply stop sleeping around and control yourself, either by saying no to the ladies or cutting down on how much you drink on a night out.
Everyone loves going out and having craic with the lads and getting drunk but if you want to stop being a man whore then there is a thing called willpower which many people use.

shellyboo

Unregistered wrote: »

I use protection most of the time but not always due to being so drunk. I'm worried if I don't cut out this behaviour I'm either gonna catch something or get some stranger pregnant - both nightmare scenarios.

If you are sober enough to get it up, you are sober enough to put a condom on it. Also, the kind of person who will let you sleep with them without condom on is almost certainly the kind of person who is at a high risk of having an STI.

Get tested, and get a clue. Put on a condom, it's not rocket science. And if you really, truly can't stop (which is complete BS - you decide not to wear protection) then you need to stop drinking. There is no magic cure for irresponsibility, except a bit of cop on.

Dragan

Unregistered wrote: »

I'm trying these days to stop having so many one night stands. The problem is that I love going out drinking etc with my mates and once I'm out and about in bars and clubs and drunk I often ending up going off and having sex with some girl I just met. It hasn't been just once or twice, its most weekends and often different girls on the friday and saturday nite. I realise I can't blame it on the drinking alone. I use protection most of the time but not always due to being so drunk. I'm worried if I don't cut out this behaviour I'm either gonna catch something or get some stranger pregnant - both nightmare scenarios.
Has anyone had similiar experience? I suppose what I'm lookin for is any advice on how to stop being such a 'man-slut'
Thanks^^

My harsh bit of advice is to simply cop on, drink less and wrap up. There is nothing wrong with sex, or even sex with strangers per se. However, expose yourself to enough people in this way and you seriously increase your chances of catching something.

Now that this bit of advice is out of the way, why do you keep doing this to yourself man? It's clearly not something you are enjoying, but it also appears to be something you don't have a huge amount of control over.

So, is it just when the booze takes hold or is it something else?

TMoreno

Unregistered wrote: »

I'm trying these days to stop having so many one night stands. The problem is that I love going out drinking etc with my mates and once I'm out and about in bars and clubs and drunk I often ending up going off and having sex with some girl I just met. It hasn't been just once or twice, its most weekends and often different girls on the friday and saturday nite. I realise I can't blame it on the drinking alone. I use protection most of the time but not always due to being so drunk. I'm worried if I don't cut out this behaviour I'm either gonna catch something or get some stranger pregnant - both nightmare scenarios.
Has anyone had similiar experience? I suppose what I'm lookin for is any advice on how to stop being such a 'man-slut'
Thanks^^

Am I the only one to find this thread suspicious?

Could somebody explain what “one night stands” mean? Are people so bad in bed that they can only do it once? What’s their problem? I thought sex was addicting?
You sleep with a new girl every weekend? I did not know that it was that easy to score in Ireland. You talk about drinking or getting drunk 4 times in the same thread. That’s what it takes to sleep with a girl? I think about all those girls who waste their time to be pretty to catch men’s attention. Who could imagine that 10 pints of Budweiser were more aphrodisiac than a mini skirt, a nice face and big breast? What a shame…
No you’re not a man slut, you’re just a bad lover.

LegacyUser

TMoreno wrote: »

Am I the only one to find this thread suspicious?

You sleep with a new girl every weekend? I did not know that it was that easy to score in Ireland. You talk about drinking or getting drunk 4 times in the same thread. That’s what it takes to sleep with a girl? I think about all those girls who waste their time to be pretty to catch men’s attention. Who could imagine that 10 pints of Budweiser were more aphrodisiac than a mini skirt, a nice face and big breast? What a shame…
No you’re not a man slut, you’re just a bad lover.

- yes it is that easy to score in Ireland from my experience. They're not all exactly stunners the girls I end up with as you can imagine. Half the time I end up with girls i don't fancy at all.
- no I don't need to be drunk to approach/ chat to girls - I'm going out to get drunk with my mates for fun not to increase my confidence to score
- obviously I might not be the best 'lover' as you call it when pissed drunk but what has that got to do with the problem I asked for advice about

I do realise it's 99% about me needing to cop on and wise up.

homerun_homer

Unregistered wrote: »

I do realise it's 99% about me needing to cop on and wise up.

So what are you planning on doing about it? If you know the answer to your question then you need to start doing it.
If you are finding it so easy to have a one night stand every weekend then surely you are always going out with condoms or at least buying them in clubs/pubs when you pull. And as a poster said above, if you can get it up then you should have the cop on to cover it up.

AvrilLavigne

You are probably already swimming with disease! Consider that each person you hook up with for your one night stand also does it as regularly as you and also only sometimes uses protection! There are a lot of folks in that dirty mix! :eek:

Dragan

TMoreno wrote: »

Am I the only one to find this thread suspicious?

Possibly not, but you are the only one who went the wrong way about expressing their concerns about the threads legitimacy.

Could somebody explain what “one night stands” mean?

It means that you meet someone, have a small level of interaction with them, sleep with them and then don't see them again. Pretty common behaviour, no?

Are people so bad in bed that they can only do it once? What’s their problem? I thought sex was addicting?

No, it's enjoyable. Addictive is a whole difference story.

You sleep with a new girl every weekend? I did not know that it was that easy to score in Ireland.

It is. Or it isn't. It depends on who you are, how you look, where you go, how you approach people, who you approach etc etc. It's relatively easy to rack up a new girl every weekend if you are so inclined. At one point i was so inclined and didn't find it very difficult to find girls who were attractive and looking for the same thing i was.

You talk about drinking or getting drunk 4 times in the same thread. That’s what it takes to sleep with a girl?

A clever person would have taken the mentions of drink and getting drunk to imply that maybe the OP finds booze to be a good way to knock the inhibitions that have some people too afraid to talk to the opposite sex.

It's not what it takes to sleep with a girl, but it is a good way for them to get started if they are a bit shaky, socially.

I think about all those girls who waste their time to be pretty to catch men’s attention.

So it's working then?

Who could imagine that 10 pints of Budweiser were more aphrodisiac than a mini skirt, a nice face and big breast? What a shame…

Clearly you have never drank.;)

No you’re not a man slut, you’re just a bad lover.

Sense? This makes none.

AARRRGH

Unregistered wrote: »

Has anyone had similiar experience? I suppose what I'm lookin for is any advice on how to stop being such a 'man-slut'

I used to be like you. I know exactly where you're coming from.

The easist way to solve your problem is to drink less. I know that isn't tackling whatever issue is causing you to be a man slut but sobriety is a great contraceptive.

wolfpawnat

I cant stand one night stands, I've never had one myself but I would imagine it makes you feel cheap and used, It surely cant fill your need for anything other than sexual urges, which can be done manually rather than having to worry about STD's so I have to say fair dues for trying to cut it out:)
As a nurse I suggest get a screening done and you should see this as the beginning of your new life!
Cut down on the alcohol, dont cut it out, just cut down. It will make it easier not to go after girls.
If your after a girlfriend NEVER go for a girl you went of with in a club, doesnt give the relationship a great start, get her number and call or text the next day. It will also make her see you are interested in more than the bedroom.
Good luck sorting yourself into the person you want to be:)

AARRRGH

wolfpawnat wrote: »

I've never had one myself but I would imagine it makes you feel cheap and used

Men generally don't feel that way.

wolfpawnat

AARRRGH wrote: »

Men generally don't feel that way.

Fair enough still could never do it though

Auldloon

Like you i had lots and lots of one nighters when i was younger and shock horror often didnt use a condom either. Never caught anything and never fathered a child to the best of my knowledge.
Some were great, some not so great and some i couldnt remember the next morning.
Contrary to what some others have said its quiet possible to meet someone you would happily have a relationship with having started in a one night stand. Sexual attraction and chemistry is not a bad basis to start a relationship on, in my experience.
In the end i just found myself getting sick of them and wanting more than just a shag from someone, probably you are arriving at the same place.
Is there not anyone of those girls you would be interested in getting to know better?

pseudonym1

Easing off on the booze sounds like good advice. Maybe find some alternatives to going to the pub with the lads.

Is it possible you are using sex as a vice? Hoping destructive behavior will burn its way to something worthwhile and meaningful..

Doesn't happen that way - need to sort yourself out find out why you are doing what your doing and -despite professing the wish to - can't stop!

Talking to a professional will help you understand and in turn help you control your actions. I suggest you do this real soon before something unwanted happens.

Best of luck!

Firetrap

Maybe you should try drinking less when you go out. Not only will it give you less of a hangover the next morning, it might help you show some backbone and not go off with anything female that's moving.

I wonder are one night stands a habit for you, the same as some people drink lots of wine during the week or eat chocolate? You need to call a halt to this behaviour - that you posted here means that you're not happy with what you're doing.