Loneliness

greenneonlight

If you were to describe loneliness what would it look like?

Insect Overlord

greenneonlight wrote: »

If you were to describe loneliness what would it look like?

This thread...

edit/
On second thoughts, I should probably post something more constructive!

There are many typical images of loneliness (a single bare tree on a hill, a child alone in the corner, an animal isolated in a field, etc)
Why don't you offer us a few ideas you already have yourself? That way we'll know what you're looking for.

greenneonlight

Well recently I've been conducting some surveys, going out into the public to talk to people about my project that I'm currently pursuing. I've previously posted about this project, needless to say with not much response.

My project is about public space and the issue of loneliness and aloneness. I guess you could say it concerns psychogeography..hence I'm posting in the psychology forum. I'm really interested in the human mind and emotional behaviour.

Anyway I've taken a relational approach in dealing with the information I'm collecting, the one question I want to get a personal response with is, if they were to picture loneliness what would it look like?

I'm hopin to not get cliche answers as such, but perhaps a deeper connection with the subject. A really interesting reply I got in one of my interviews compared loneliness with the surface of the moon, and how it is barren and that it doesn't have any atmosphere.

I dunno if this answers you question, but if you have suggestions I'll be very grateful

Antilles

Lonliness looks like a monster, plain, grey and big. It has two stubby rounded feet, and a long thin tail that ends with a tuft of hair like dry straw. It has thick treetrunk-like arms, and is hands curve around into sharp pincers. Its ears are on the top of its head, roughly triangular in shape and with pink interiors. Its mouth is thin and wide, but opens only the slightest amount. Blunt, fanged canines protrude from beneath its lips, and its nose is squat and porcine. It has two large eyes which are a diseased shade of white, and tiny, ink black pupils.

Matt Holck

loneliness is tall
looking across cross the crowd
watching patterns move
never on their level

pansoul

Well given your (mysterious- and exciting-sounding) project concerns psychogeography you could perhaps do well to travel around contemporary Ireland to 'inspire' you, and thus provide a realistic and, ahem, concrete, image of loneliness. In particular I'm thinking of landscape-blighting half-built estates where only a couple of houses are occupied, the green-area more representative of a council dump, and the road only partly tarred.

What could be more lonely than living in an estate all by yourself, the wind howling and whistling, across the green area and up, through, around the empty shells of the neighbouring houses?

To further darken the image, maybe pretend you live in a bank of apartments. As you come home from work each day the only provided-illumination (the builders left before installing lights and haven't sign-off to the council) is that of the dangling light (lampshade-less) that you leave on in your kitchen as it sways in the breeze entering from the window you forgot to close. You have no partner to come home to. Not even a dog. Or a goldfish. I would feel fairly alone if that were me.

Is that the kind of thing you had in mind or am I way off? Do let me know.

Red Hand

How about one of the many decrepid graveyards that we have in Ireland, headstones leaning against one another, some graves without any markers because people didn't have the money to place a marker over the grave other than a simple stone. And now, after many years, these places have become overgrown and whoever is buried there is almost totally forgotton.

The Mad Hatter

I heard about a Turner-prize entry about ten years ago called 'loneliness'. It was a massive canvas with four dots painted in the top right corner.

I scoffed at the time, but looking back it does seem like quite an impressive idea.

Personally (speaking as a habitual loner), I think it depends what aspect of loneliness you're talking about. There's a world of difference between standing on an empty beach watching the sunset and sitting in the corner of a room drinking dregs of beer.

greenneonlight

It's funny that you mention different types of loneliness, in my project (It's called aloneness and loneliness in public space) I'm asking people to describe both, and what it means to be alone, and what it means to be lonely. If you could describe either or it would be great, or even share any experiences...

pansoul

Just a few minor technical points Mr (or indeed Mrs) Light. First, I think (and I stress the I!) 'solitude' sounds a lot better than 'aloneness', and I think it conveys the same meaning only in a more profound way. Just for your title it might sound a bit crisper. Minor point as I say -- with a captive audience it's more important to get a park's amenities hospitable than the entrance.

Which leads me nicely to my second 'issue': What do you mean when you say "public space"? Not trying to be difficult at all; I'm just not sure. As in, is a public space maybe an open beach or forest where we're totally free to roam and connect with our natural world? Or is it a public park (say St. Stephen's Green) which provides an enclosed natural refuge within a concrete jungle? Or lastly, do you refer to the cityscape, the interconnected space urban-dwellers occupy, the buildings, the streets, etc?

I don't seek clarification out of pedantic miscreance; rather, I see the distinction as important as I think the different surroundings can dramatically effect mood. Obviously situation is always critical: a happy place is a happy place no matter how isolated (just ask a hermit!) or buzzing (just ask a hipster) it is. So it's all very personal. So I'll make it personal: I live in Kerry and regularly go for walks on the beaches. On my own. But I never feel one jot alone or lonely; actually, I feel very much whole and content. I feel connected to the natural environment, Earth, my home. So while a superficial image of me walking alone down a miles-long beach may portray solitude, it does not at all represent my inner-feelings (which I assume, albeit based on pathetic knowledge, is what psychogeography is more about). So based on my experience and world-view I would find it impossible to entitle an image of someone alone in nature as Loneliness or Aloneness.

Conversely, it could be argued, albeit fairly ironic, cities are far more likely to induce feelings of solitude (though I lived in Dublin for years without feeling it). Anyway, that sense of emotional detachment that some cities (particularly busy businessy ones, or the suburbs of most) inevitably possess can easily spark feelings of anonymity. I suppose the paradox 'Alone in a Crowd' would neatly capture that! So sometimes it can be when you are not in fact alone (in a physical sense) that you actually feel alone (in an emotional sense). The correlation between physical and emotional solitude can therefore be counter-intuitive. Ah feck it, much simpler to say, "Alone when crowded; crowded when alone." (quite like that one actually, trademark is mine! Should satisfy the Creative Writing police as well! )

Right. Fairly interesting topic. Hope that's some help anyway. Keep us updated.

The Mad Hatter

It's funny that you mention different types of loneliness, in my project (It's called aloneness and loneliness in public space) I'm asking people to describe both, and what it means to be alone, and what it means to be lonely. If you could describe either or it would be great, or even share any experiences...

If you're interested in solitude and that side of things, I suggest you check out my hero Glenn Gould. He lived alone, in his own words 'preferred the company of animals to that of people' and described happiness as '250 days a year in the recording studio.' Further, he didn't like meeting people, but would spend hours on the phone to friends at odd times of night.

I visited Tokyo alone a few months back, and mostly was quite happy to be by myself there. But for loneliness, there's nothing quite as shocking as being surrounded by millions of people who you can't communicate with on any level.

hotspur

I find it encapsulated well in the Black on Grey paintings by Mark Rothko leading up to his suicide. Here is my favourite of them:

Shinji Ikari

greenneonlight wrote: »

If you were to describe loneliness what would it look like?

For me lonliness is akin to being surrounded by hundreds of people yet feeling disconnected and alienated;wanting to connect but can't because of being Avoidant.Thats real lonliness.To give a graphic picture;I can't.Even words are insufficient.
Why do you ask?

tolteq

myself. wanting to talk to somebody. got your digicam? LOL.

busted flush

loneliness is apple without tart
wind without tress
a horse with no cart
beans with no fart

sitout

busted flush wrote: »

loneliness is apple without tart
wind without tress
a horse with no cart
beans with no fart

this smells

af_thefragile

Loneliness is when you lose meaning to the things you do. The things you once loved and the things you don't.
What would it look like?
Maybe a prison cell. Maybe the top of Mt. Everest. When you're standing there with nothing to come back down for.
Its a picture without colors. Its a pictures without emotion. Its just a grey lingering gloom. A bleak patch of nothingness. A cell as wide as the eye can see, as tall as the sight can reach. The air is heavy, damp and smothering. Caught up in the middle is you. Nowhere to move, just sit there. All you've got is time to let the emptiness slowly engulf you into the void.

guitarzero

A quiet rainy night in a red lit room, no time, no change, only fading memories and circular thoughts that attempt to resucitate.

Suzie433

Lonliness = struggling to stay above water where everyone around you has a boat but they won't look in our direction.

Alone = struggling to stay above water, you have one end of a lifeline but there is no one at the other end to pull...

Depressing

Faylum

greenneonlight wrote: »

If you were to describe loneliness what would it look like?

If i was to apply it to a persons life i would say someone who has self confidence issues and a inferiority complex, someone who is extremely sensitive, slightly paranoid, no friends, no job, parents that are happy to ignore whatever pleas or help you ask for, a past that is a complete opposite of the now, a person with no motivation, who is scared that they can't kill them-self or will botch it up, someone too frightened to talk to someone about what to do, someone that fears personal change, someone with no money, a person that is slowly falling apart physically, hair is losing color and volume, teeth are blackening, skin is losing pigment, fingers are withering, a smoker who steals to supply their addiction but suffers consequences for doing so, someone who lacks even the simplest of motivations like picking something obstructing off the floor or eating when hungry. A person who is surrounded by people who either ignore or ridicule for ones past. Someone who has failed in school and has become too old to re-educate without feeling stupid. A person that prays for miracles but never gets granted a shred of hope. Someone who tells them-self every day to get positive and happy but is unable to break from their perilous routine, someone who is rarely able to go outside and does so only in the earliest hours of the morning or latest at night, someone who fears beyond anything having to go out during daytime hours and will do anything not to be seen. Someone who has had a great life that has fallen apart due to bad choices and naive ambition, someone who has been constantly betrayed by close companions only because they had no restraint on their generosity. A person who cuts them-self so that someone will see but is unsuccessful in even being noticed. A person with an amazingly warm heart and good nature who longs for male/female companionship but is destined to be alone for their appearance is unsettling and their time being a recluse has made them odd or unable to be normal in social situations.

Ultimately this person would represent best what loneliness is. Your question is what would it look like and the answer is 80% of humanity! Best way to draw this would be to have a person sitting in the darkness, rings underneath their eyes a tear drop on their knee and a hand closing on their heart, perhaps a few night time animals peering in from the darkness, up and to the sides.

(Not based on my life in anyway xD)

sickdullplain

cold and hunched in computer screen glare.