Why do I keep getting s**t on?

miss deise

Every time I start seing a bloke, they dump me for absolutely no reason that I am aware of after a month of two.

I am a good looking, nice 26 year old girl... All my friends have told me that I'm a nice person.. I pay for everthing, I don't ever whinge, and I'm not bad looking...

So why do blokes have the need to use me, and then dump me..? I don't understand it!

I know people will say that I must be doing something, but I haven't a clue what it is I am doing. I'm not clingy, or obsseseive...
Some friends say I am just attracted to a**ho**s.

I'm a bit drunk, not too much, so sorry...

But seriously... what am I doing wrong?

nice_guy80

life is a bitch

be more cautious in your selection. there are some idiots around. i can never understand how nice girls end up with the biggest **** i know.

have they no sense?

other than that, pm me...

Bottle_of_Smoke

Maybe they think you're more into them than them into you. Puts me off girls.

miss deise

Bottle_of_Smoke wrote: »

Maybe they think you're more into them than them into you. Puts me off girls.

That may be it... Although, I'm aware that it puts blokes off, and I try so hard to control it.. But I'm always consious of the fact that I probably like them more than they like me... As I said, I'm 26, so this has happened to me about 20 times... like twice a year since I was 16... It's so frustrating..

This time. I was so careful... I am so sure I didn't make it clear I was more into him than he was with me... But it must have come across... Feel like such a loser...

Farls

I think you just described your problem there. Your no trouble!!

In an ideal world this is what us lads seemingly want but a lot of times it leads to boredom and we get too comfortable so we end up looking down other avenues.

Also you say your good looking, I don't doubt this but generally, and now I mean generally speaking the really good looking girls do go out with the arseholes. Mainly because the good guys...ie nice personality and guys that would APPRECIATE you don't have the bottle to chat you up or put themselves on the line.

Its a vicious circle!!!

nice_guy80

maybe you need to get out of waterford to find a different breed?

i know moving away from home and the comfort zone helped me a lot to meet a few different girls

honestly, i'd like to meet a girl who didn't play too many games and was genuine in her interest

Nevyn

No one wants to go out with a door mat.

I pay for everthing, I don't ever whinge

Maybe it's time you started wanting better for yourself.

miss deise

Wish I could move away, but doing a course in college that my job pay for, and I have to stay with them for a year after I'm done (so they will keep paying for it).

I've been with a couple of nice blokes, but they bored me, and I ended it with them (there were only 2), they were kind of clingy and a bit stalker like...

Maybe I just like d**kheads,,, I dunno....

AngryBadger

Thaedydal wrote: »

No one wants to go out with a door mat.

Maybe it's time you started wanting better for yourself.

+1

miss deise

Thaedydal wrote: »

No one wants to go out with a door mat.



Maybe it's time you started wanting better for yourself.

I've heard that a good bit... I know it makes sense.. It's hard though,when you find something you think you want, and it doesn't want you...

entropi

miss deise wrote: »

I've heard that a good bit... I know it makes sense.. It's hard though,when you find something you think you want, and it doesn't want you...

I know exactly what you mean here, but if it was so easy then everyone would probably be happily with an OH by now...life is harsh, all you can do is try reduce how hard it hits you:) I would prob be referred to as a nice guy myself, but i had to change a bit and dont let people take advantage, most people dont like easy, it gives em nothing to think about after:D

miss deise

Master of Nothing wrote: »

I know exactly what you mean here, but if it was so easy then everyone would probably be happily with an OH by now...life is harsh, all you can do is try reduce how hard it hits you:) I would prob be referred to as a nice guy myself, but i had to change a bit and dont let people take advantage, most people dont like easy, it gives em nothing to think about after:D

Why though? Why can't you be a nice, easy going person? I don't understand why people don't like that... There plenty of posts on here about how hard someone's OH is to get on with...

Why can't you just be cool, and have someone? I hate being all psycho and clingy, but not being that way seems get me nowhere... Should I turn into a clingy domineering person?

NedNew

Why not next time you are out with a guy, just make sure you are attentive. Maybe you talk too much? Guys love to be listened to.

I know I would hate to be referred to as a "bloke", so tacky that word, so unIrish, its like calling you a "bird".

I mean that sincerely.

greatgoal

miss deise wrote: »

Wish I could move away, but doing a course in college that my job pay for, and I have to stay with them for a year after I'm done (so they will keep paying for it).

I've been with a couple of nice blokes, but they bored me, and I ended it with them (there were only 2), they were kind of clingy and a bit stalker like...

Maybe I just like d**kheads,,, I dunno....

define a dickhead.

miss deise

NedNew wrote: »

Why not next time you are out with a guy, just make sure you are attentive. Maybe you talk too much? Guys love to be listened to.

I know I would hate to be referred to as a "bloke", so tacky that word, so unIrish, its like calling you a "bird".

I mean that sincerely.

Haha, that's kinda funny to me, cos I call my girlfriends "Bird"...

No, I would never say bloke to a guys face I call them by their name... Just don't really like the word "guy"... I guess

As you said, don't think I talk too much... Maybe I do.. I'm not a fan of silence, and like to make everyone feel like I want to converse with them, so I do chat a good bit....

Never thought of that before, thanks!! Then again, none of my mates think that, or have ever said that about me... I would always be thought of as a bit quiet... Don't say anthing unless I think it's relevant, but as I said before, hate uncomfortable silences... Have to fill the void....

That it possibly where I'm going wrong...

miss deise

greatgoal wrote: »

define a dickhead.

emm, who just use ya for the shag until they find something better...??

Farls

miss deise wrote: »

emm, who just use ya for the shag until they find something better...??

Maybe ya givin it up too easy...hard to beat a challenge with gud reward!!

miss deise

Farls wrote: »

Maybe ya givin it up too easy...hard to beat a challenge with gud reward!!

Can I just put it out there for the record, that I most certainly do not give it up easy...

Just seems like that's all it is when I break up with someone... Like, that's all there is, and it means nowt else...

Chucky the tree

Where/How do you meet this guys?

If your contanstly getting tried like **** you either have a great ability to pick assholes or there is something wrong with you.

No offence, but from the general theme of your posts you come off as a bit desperate/urgent to be getting a boyfriend. If guys sense this it's a major turn off.

LightningBolt

From reading your posts there maybe you just come across as too serious too soon which probably comes out when you talk too much. If there's one thing that will make the majority of us back off it's that and obsessiveness.

starman08

I know the feeling, i too was dumped recently. This has happened so many time that i struggle to remember who some of them are. And just like you i let the nice ones go as i felt they were boring... Unfortunatly drink only does so much, and rebounds only do so much...

discobeaker

I definitely see what the lady who started this thread is talking about but both men and women can both be "richard heads" but to the lady who started this off just hold on cos you have to kiss alot of frogs to get your prince etc etc.

Most of us guys aint that bad,just use boards and vent your anger. Most of us,including myself,are in the same place as you are with members of the opposite sex being real tw*ts towards us.

Cheer up and hopefully boards will feel your pain and start up a dating forum for its members so we dont have to deal with dickheads all the time.

miss deise

discobeaker wrote: »

I definitely see what the lady who started this thread is talking about but both men and women can both be "richard heads" but to the lady who started this off just hold on cos you have to kiss alot of frogs to get your prince etc etc.

Most of us guys aint that bad,just use boards and vent your anger. Most of us,including myself,are in the same place as you are with members of the opposite sex being real tw*ts towards us.

Cheer up and hopefully boards will feel your pain and start up a dating forum for its members so we dont have to deal with dickheads all the time.

Thanks for all the replies... I've just re-read my posts... I was fairly hammered last night and in the cold light of day I do sound like a bit of a prat... Thanks for listening anyway, it was good to vent...

Still feel upset and angry, but will just have to get on with it now..

John Mason

miss deise wrote: »

I am a good looking, nice 26 year old girl... All my friends have told me that I'm a nice person.. I pay for everthing, I don't ever whinge, and I'm not bad looking...

why do you pay for everything?

you dont whinge but do you have an opinion on anything?

seems to my from your post, that you dont have a lot of substance and are a complete push over. i would summarise that the men get bored

Wibbs

If you consistently go for or end up with dicks that usually means if its very consistent that it comes back to what you want. If you come across as too eager to please, or desperate that will be a turn off. The same way the "nice guy" is a turn off to you. Nice guys can be boring and we all know what we mean when we say nice guys. We're talking about desperate, no challenge, not someone you'll want to be around for long. IMHO beyond the basic fancying someone, boredom and lack of novelty is what kills couples before they get going and is what nearly always kills a relationship if and when it does get going.

Get your own head together first. Don't be actively looking for a boyfriend for the moment. You've got all the time in the world, so take a break.

starman08

miss deise wrote: »

I do sound like a bit of a prat...

Nah you dont sound like a prat we have all been there some time or other... So what happened?

Dob74

miss deise wrote: »

Every time I start seing a bloke, they dump me for absolutely no reason that I am aware of after a month of two.

I am a good looking, nice 26 year old girl... All my friends have told me that I'm a nice person.. I pay for everthing, I don't ever whinge, and I'm not bad looking...

So why do blokes have the need to use me, and then dump me..? I don't understand it!

I know people will say that I must be doing something, but I haven't a clue what it is I am doing. I'm not clingy, or obsseseive...
Some friends say I am just attracted to a**ho**s.

I'm a bit drunk, not too much, so sorry...

But seriously... what am I doing wrong?

Your friends are right you are attracted to a**holes. Plenty of nice guys out there. Its a same nice guys finish last. The problem is you will not be attracted to nice guys, you will be attracted to the AH.

Maybe you should try meeting guys in different places. If you meet someone in a pub or club. Its difficult to really know them. Accept there nice looking or dress nice. Try doing a night course, join a sports club something other than a pub. You may not meet someone there but you will spread your net wider. A friend of a friend who knows