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wits end

  • 28-11-2008 12:40am
    #1
    benhennelly
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1 ✭


    Hi Guys


    I think I'm totally fit for the knackers yard or I may as well be 6ft under. Well thats the way I feel. I don't even know how to start this or where is the begging point as I probably don't know myself.. To cut a long story was happy :-) was not :-( was happy :-) was not :-( and so on ups and downs with girls now I'm with a girl who is brill and as always the sex was good at the start but as time went on it started to get worse and I mean if I'm lucky once a month I've started to drink more and more even on my own upstairs pretending to play guitar and do computer work just as I can get pissed its the only thing that can make me fell OK for been rejected. I started to put on weight I think because of it and that now is getting me down also I am really feeling like **** I know you will prob say talk to her but no can do she get more childish by the day am I tried all that the only time she can talk or have sex is when she is drunk we are going out 6 years and I know you are going to say cop on but is there any other approach to this. I really feel like doing myself in I'm sorry if I sound such a drag but I'm at me wits end.


    Thanks


    MD


Comments

  • #2
    ruxpin82
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 65 ✭✭ruxpin82


    hi ben,
    calm down man ok, sounds to me ur drinkin at the minute so might help if you bin that straight away, no offence intended. I presume you've looked at all the other posts in this forum about the same subject, your not the only one whose suffering. you say theres no point talking to her and that you've tried that already, counselling is an option but i doubt shed be interested if she cant even talk to you.I have had this problem also so i know where your coming from, in my case we split up because it made me resent her.
    Might i suggest that you write her a letter explaining how you feel and how damaging the situation is to you, and not just any old scribble, you need to clearly explain how you feel. if i were you id read through the many posts on this subject and use some of the phrases and paragraphs other people have written, because many of them struck a cord with me at least, it terms of hitting the nail on the head about how it can make you feel.
    Mabey then, you could sit her down and ask her to read, but it might be wise to confirm to her that you love her etc first (that is if you do love her), you dont want to come across as attacking or criticising her, just make it known how you feel.
    And go easy on the drink man, it only depresses you further.


  • #3
    Jimmy Bottlehead
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,122 ✭✭✭✭Jimmy Bottlehead


    ruxpin82 wrote: »
    hi ben,
    calm down man ok, sounds to me ur drinkin at the minute so might help if you bin that straight away, no offence intended. I presume you've looked at all the other posts in this forum about the same subject, your not the only one whose suffering. you say theres no point talking to her and that you've tried that already, counselling is an option but i doubt shed be interested if she cant even talk to you.I have had this problem also so i know where your coming from, in my case we split up because it made me resent her.
    Might i suggest that you write her a letter explaining how you feel and how damaging the situation is to you, and not just any old scribble, you need to clearly explain how you feel. if i were you id read through the many posts on this subject and use some of the phrases and paragraphs other people have written, because many of them struck a cord with me at least, it terms of hitting the nail on the head about how it can make you feel.
    Mabey then, you could sit her down and ask her to read, but it might be wise to confirm to her that you love her etc first (that is if you do love her), you dont want to come across as attacking or criticising her, just make it known how you feel.
    And go easy on the drink man, it only depresses you further.

    Very good post.

    Ben, this isn't your fault. You've tried talking to her, and fair play for that. BUT, you have to see that you drinking solves nothing. The problem is going to be there no matter how much you drink.

    And indeed, the drinking will only make this harder to deal with - you'll be less rational, you'll put on weight (as you've said) and even if she does decide to sleep with you, the drink may affect your performance in a bad way.

    After six years, I don't see how you can't talk to her... if you really and truly can't, and she's not willing to listen to your concerns, then you might consider ending things.

    You mentioned being happy, then not, and so on... is there a possibility you might be depressed? Have you talked to a GP about it? It might help, man.

    And I know things seem awfully bleak right now, but ending your own life isn't the way out. Trust me. The old saying "the night is darkest before the dawn" is true. By posting up here, and asking for help and advice, you've shown true guts, so fair play man.

    Are you just feeling down, or are the suicidal thoughts serious?


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