Are divorce settlements fair?

Pighead

No!

Good stuff Pighead. Another thread settled in record time.

Picture the scene. An extremely rich, talented and successful Pighead is walking down the street throwing money at paupers to make their miserable little lives that little bit more bearable when he sees a beautiful young lady begging on a street corner.

She's smellier than a Cavan man but lord is she beautiful. Pighead (who has recently been listed as the wealthiest man in Ireland after striking it lucky by winning the lotto for twenty five successive weeks.) is bowled over by the girls beauty and asks her would she come round to his for a bit of dinner and maybe a shower.

Seeing her wonderful breasts in the shower, Pighead decides there and then that this is the girl he wants to spend the rest of his life with. He takes one last lingering look at her slender body, turns off the monitor and leaves the perving security room. An hour later she's agreed to marry him. God bless the power of money.

Anyway after five rocky months of marriage this street tramp has had enough of Pighead's pervy ways and asks for a divorce. She gets it and she also gets half of his fortune. A stinking street urchin is suddenly 500 Million quid richer just because Pighead put a ring on her finger. Fair enough give her a couple of grand and maybe a caravan to get her off the streets but there's no way she should be entitled to all that money.


Surely that's not fair?

Is it?

No!

Would she be entitled to half Pigheads wealth in the above scenario? Is there a certain length of time a girl has to be married before she gets the dosh or is it from the moment she says "I do"?

tba

why would you get married at all?

Surely you could afford all the ladies you need (and then some), and your personality would suffice even if you had no money.

In conclusion, the amount of time you should be married to someone to get their dosh is 6 hours 23 minutes.

Snowie

yeah the numpty made a contract with his wife personally i would of made her sighn a prenup.....

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

Prenup? I have no idea how to spell it, or how it works. Do you sign one if you don't want your other half robbing you? Do women come out of it better than men? If I was poor and married a wealthy woman we devorce, do I get lots of money?

Can someone explain this without linking something to an over complicated explanation? Thanks

apoch632

I dont think Prenups are legal in this country

Snowie

Samantha Old-fashioned Mainframe wrote: »

Prenup? I have no idea how to spell it, or how it works. Do you sign one if you don't want your other half robbing you? Do women come out of it better than men? If I was poor and married a wealthy woman we devorce, do I get lots of money?

Can someone explain this without linking something to an over complicated explanation? Thanks

eerrrr i dunno i just remember kanye west saying it in one of his ear crushing songs....

bassicly it goes man anf wife meet gett married and she sighns a contract saying i here buy promise not to take all your money?

tba

Samantha Old-fashioned Mainframe wrote: »

Can someone explain this without linking something to an over complicated explanation? Thanks

its like putting salt and pepper on your dinner, you make sure you only put salt on the stuff that tastes ****e and pepper on your potatoes and veg, but you can put salt on your veg, but generally not your potatoes. Add to the mix a bit of ketchup and it doesn't really matter if you have salt and pepper on the food as it all tastes like sugary tomato....

Hope that makes sense

Pighead

tba wrote: »

why would you get married at all?

Surely you could afford all the ladies you need (and then some), and your personality would suffice even if you had no money.

In conclusion, the amount of time you should be married to someone to get their dosh is 6 hours 23 minutes.

Why get married? Because of that crazy little thing called love my friend. All sense goes out the window whilst love is around. Shelley said it best when he wrote:

As the moon's soft splendour
O'er the faint cold starlight of Heaven
Is thrown,
So your voice most tender
To the strings without soul had then given
Its own.

thelordofcheese

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

eerrrr i dunno i just remember kanye west saying it in one of his ear crushing songs....

You probably shouldn't be taking life advice from Kanye West to be fair......

Snowie

thelordofcheese wrote: »

You probably shouldn't be taking life advice from Kanye West to be fair......

well he makes more money then me so it cant hurt...........:D

Dragan

Pighead wrote: »

An extremely rich, talented and successful Pighead

Ah come on Pighead, it's WAY to early to stretch my imagination that far!

Anyway after five rocky months of marriage this street tramp has had enough of Pighead's pervy ways and asks for a divorce.

Would she be entitled to half Pigheads wealth in the above scenario?

Well yes, i mean she put up with you for 5 months dude!

tba

Pighead wrote: »

Why get married? Because of that crazy little thing called love my friend. All sense goes out the window whilst love is around. Shelley said it best when he wrote:

As the moon's soft splendour
O'er the faint cold starlight of Heaven
Is thrown,
So your voice most tender
To the strings without soul had then given
Its own.

Shelly left his first wife.... not the other way around.

You got dumped by a smelly hobo chick who fleeced you for your luckily attained wealth.

Pighead

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

eerrrr i dunno i just remember kanye west saying it in one of his ear crushing songs....

bassicly it goes man anf wife meet gett married and she sighns a contract saying i here buy promise not to take all your money?

Kanye also wrote:

"Well I'd do anything for a blonde-dike
And she'll do anything for the limelight
And we'll do anything when the time's right"

That's love Snow-Monkey. When you are a teenager you too will fall in love.

Ross_Mahon

Prenuptial agreements are being made among lots of celebrities now, I would do the same, You dont wont some blonde model taking all your money and boasting about it in the papers.

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

tba wrote: »

its like putting salt and pepper on your dinner, you make sure you only put salt on the stuff that tastes ****e and pepper on your potatoes and veg, but you can put salt on your veg, but generally not your potatoes. Add to the mix a bit of ketchup and it doesn't really matter if you have salt and pepper on the food as it all tastes like sugary tomato....

Hope that makes sense

No, didn't help at all, I don't like peper on my beautiful spuds, I take salt on all of my dinner and I rarely use ketchup

But if you both sign a prenup then your sorted, right? If she took my new (don't have it yet) Audi A4 then I would be fcuking pissed... like really pissed.

Pighead

tba wrote: »

You got dumped by a smelly hobo chick who fleeced you for your luckily attained wealth.

Dumped is a bit harsh. We drifted apart due to us having absolutely nothing in common, is probably a better way of putting it. And the wealth wasn't accrued luckily. It was a scam.

Zangetsu

Eddie Murphy Raw DVD, he has a great joke about this.

EDDIIEEEEE! I WANT HALF!

Snowie

Pighead wrote: »

Kanye also wrote:

"Well I'd do anything for a blonde-dike
And she'll do anything for the limelight
And we'll do anything when the time's right"

That's love Snow-Monkey. When you are a teenager you too will fall in love.

:eek: i never listened that much..... :eek:

i prefer something a little livelier

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=thag2Hlos6E

Earthhorse

tba wrote: »

Shelly left his first wife.... not the other way around.

Didn't he bring his first wife with him?

God bless those romantics.

tba

Samantha Old-fashioned Mainframe wrote: »

No, didn't help at all, I don't like peper on my beautiful spuds, I take salt on all of my dinner and I rarely use ketchup

But if you both sign a prenup then your sorted, right? If she took my new (don't have it yet) Audi A4 then I would be fcuking pissed... like really pissed.

well in that case, your taste in condiments reflects the result you will have in a divorce settlement, I suggest you do not sign prenuptials.

Earthhorse wrote: »

Didn't he bring his first wife with him?

God bless those romantics.

nope... she killed herself, very romantic

Earthhorse

Earthhorse wrote: »

Didn't he bring his first wife with him?

God bless those romantics.

Actually, I just wiki'd this and I'm wrong. Carry on.

daveharnett

apoch632 wrote: »

I dont think Prenups are legal in this country

Yep. Irish law will override any contract or agreement, pre-nuptial or otherwise.

Pighead

Earthhorse wrote: »

God bless those romantics.

Lord Byron wasn't much better. He wooed a girl for months, she finally succumbed to his charms probably after he wrote her a lovely poem or something and then after a few months he dumped her having tired of the relationship. The girl then proceeds to lose weight with the anguish of it all and Byron then tells all and sundry that he is being "haunted by a skeleton." Charming!

Earthhorse

Pighead wrote: »

The girl then proceeds to lose weight with the anguish of it all and Byron then tells all and sundry that he is being "haunted by a skeleton." Charming!

She lost weight for him and he still wasn't happy? He missed his calling as an AH poster.

dSTAR

My ex wife buggered off with what she could lay her hands on and left me in the lurch because she took over the business that I had set up.

Pighead we should get together for a drink sometime.

* Eyes Pighead's wallet

Pighead

dSTAR wrote: »

My ex wife buggered off with what she could lay her hands on and left me in the lurch because she took over the business that I had set up.

Pighead we should get together for a drink sometime.

* Eyes Pighead's wallet

Pighead doesn't carry a wallet.:cool: Now stop looking!

That sounds rough dSTAR. Not as rough as poor old Ray Parlour, ex footballer who had to give his wife Karen, two houses worth over a million quid, a £250,000 lump sum, and £440,000 a year maintenance! ie a third of his FUTURE earnings! Now thats rough.

Naos

tba wrote: »

why would you get married at all?

Surely you could afford all the ladies you need (and then some), and your personality would suffice even if you had no money.

In conclusion, the amount of time you should be married to someone to get their dosh is 6 hours 23 minutes.

You were able to read the whole of the OP and reply within 1 minute... Impressive!

tba

cheers.... I like reading

Biggins

Here's a queer one if true (my legal rep told me this).
I'm divorced and re-married.
Apparently if I still win the lotto, although my now ex is not entitled to the money, she is (because of a quirk in the law) entitled to 50% of the interest off the winnings.

Hopefully, someday the first part of that will come true but not the second part. lol

ShooterSF

Biggins wrote: »

Here's a queer one if true (my legal rep told me this).
I'm divorced and re-married.
Apparently if I still win the lotto, although my now ex is not entitled to the money, she is (because of a quirk in the law) entitled to 50% of the interest off the winnings.

Hopefully, someday the first part of that will come true but not the second part. lol

Stick you winnings in a no interest current account and laugh as you write her a monthly check for €0.00 on your 21 carrat cheque book....

KnifeWRENCH

ShooterSF wrote: »

Stick you winnings in a no interest current account and laugh as you write her a monthly check for €0.00 on your 21 carrat cheque book....

What if Stephen makes the bank go bust though?

I'd advise him to put the money in a jar in his attic. All it will gather there is dust, and I'm sure he's generous enough to give 50% of that dust to the ex.

tony1kenobi

Pighead wrote: »

A stinking street urchin is suddenly 500 Million quid richer just because Pighead put a ring on her finger.

I know a hooker that will do that for a tenner.

apoch632 wrote: »

I dont think Prenups are legal in this country

I don't think the internet is a country.

rubadub

Originally Posted by apoch632 View Post
I dont think Prenups are legal in this country

daveharnett wrote: »

Yep. Irish law will override any contract or agreement, pre-nuptial or otherwise.

So get yourself a dodgy priest, so you are not really married in the first place. Think some celeb did this before, dunno if was intentional at the time or just figured out it wasn't legally binding when they split.