Depression

ordinary_story

When I was in secondry school I was bullied, didnt have a lot of friends and suffered from depression. It was a horrible time in my life, I couldnt see any point in living, I even tried suiside. I am really glad I failed because I then went to college.

College was absolutely great, I left home, made loads of friends for the first time in my life, went out drinking, even socialised. I finished college 4 years ago an have lived with my girlfriend since. I feel down every winter but this has been the worst so far. I hate my job because of the people I work with and I have moved away from all my friends. Every evening I just come home and watch tv or surf the net. I can feel myself slipping back into the grey and I want to stop it. I dont want my otherhalf to see me like that, I dont want pity. I have tried joined local clubs to try make some friends but as its winter there is nothing really on. I have been on anti depressants once before and I never want to go on them again. Does anybody have any advice?

LegacyUser

ordinary_story wrote: »

When I was in secondry school I was bullied, didnt have a lot of friends and suffered from depression. It was a horrible time in my life, I couldnt see any point in living, I even tried suiside. I am really glad I failed because I then went to college.

College was absolutely great, I left home, made loads of friends for the first time in my life, went out drinking, even socialised. I finished college 4 years ago an have lived with my girlfriend since. I feel down every winter but this has been the worst so far. I hate my job because of the people I work with and I have moved away from all my friends. Every evening I just come home and watch tv or surf the net. I can feel myself slipping back into the grey and I want to stop it. I dont want my otherhalf to see me like that, I dont want pity. I have tried joined local clubs to try make some friends but as its winter there is nothing really on. I have been on anti depressants once before and I never want to go on them again. Does anybody have any advice?

Well first of all I think you have to realise that during the winter months there is nothing particularly wrong with coming home and doing nothing but snuggling up in front of the box with the other half. You dont need to be doing something all the time.

Personally I would advise exercise. Join a gym or go for a run or a swim two or three nights after work. Its always tricky to get moving after a long day but once you get out the door you will feel like a new man..you'll look better, feel better, mood will improve and by setting yourself fitness goals and achieving them you will feel like your actually doing something with your time.

The jobs not the end of the world either. You'd be amazed how many people hate those that they work with or just hate their job. Most people put up with it but if it gets to much find a new job! I know its not the ideal time but there are always opportunities out there if you want it enough.


Finally you have a girlfriend...thats a great start and more than a lot of people have. Maybe you could make a pact with her that at least one night during the week you go out and meet friends or even just go out for a meal or something. Also dont be afraid too talk to her. It doesnt have to be "Im so depressed everything is black" type conversations. Just mention your feeling a bit down over the Winter months and would like to do more things.

I know too much idle time can get depressing but I think the secret is to try and fill it with something positive and learn to enjoy and idle time left.


Good luck.

JDLK

How about organising a class reunion. Doesnt have to be a big official thing or anything just get your old college buddies together for a night out. See how the've all been getting on and maybe work on keeping contact with them from there- like through facebook.

andrewh5

Why don't you want to go on anti-depressants? They do work.
You need to speak with your GP to see what types would be good for you. You cannot recover from this without help.

I can give some more advice but not publicly. PM me if you want to ask me anything.

ordinary_story

andrewh5 wrote: »

Why don't you want to go on anti-depressants? They do work.
You need to speak with your GP to see what types would be good for you. You cannot recover from this without help.

I can give some more advice but not publicly. PM me if you want to ask me anything.

I was on diazapan for a bad back a while ago and while I was on them I felt fine, after I came off them however I realised how adictive they were. People I talked to said that while I was on them I was just constantly dazed and pretty much out of it.

Gareth37

ordinary_story wrote: »

When I was in secondry school I was bullied, didnt have a lot of friends and suffered from depression. It was a horrible time in my life, I couldnt see any point in living, I even tried suiside. I am really glad I failed because I then went to college.

College was absolutely great, I left home, made loads of friends for the first time in my life, went out drinking, even socialised. I finished college 4 years ago an have lived with my girlfriend since. I feel down every winter but this has been the worst so far. I hate my job because of the people I work with and I have moved away from all my friends. Every evening I just come home and watch tv or surf the net. I can feel myself slipping back into the grey and I want to stop it. I dont want my otherhalf to see me like that, I dont want pity. I have tried joined local clubs to try make some friends but as its winter there is nothing really on. I have been on anti depressants once before and I never want to go on them again. Does anybody have any advice?

Well I know the world lacks love and has grown cold. You must stick in there and find the truth - the true meaning of life. You must keep searching and forget about the world around you. Well what I mean is that you must realise that life is difficult for everyone, all the money or pleasures in the world don't bring true happiness (nor everlasting life may I add). So keep searching. I certainly understand why you feel the way you do and I also understand why there are so many social problems such as depression and suicide in the world. Young people have forgotten the meaning of life.

Monkey61

ordinary_story wrote: »

I was on diazapan for a bad back a while ago and while I was on them I felt fine, after I came off them however I realised how adictive they were. People I talked to said that while I was on them I was just constantly dazed and pretty much out of it.

Well for a start diazepam is a sedative, not an antidepressant so of course it's going to leave you completely dazed and out of it. From the sounds of things though, you are doing very well and can probably manage fine without medication with a few lifestyle adjustments.

As people have said, get some hobbies to keep you busy and get you out of the house. There is nothing more depressing than sitting in all the time. Don't be afraid to talk to your girlfriend either. It doesn't need to be constant moping, just let her know how you feel and I'm sure she will want to help.

Why not plan some visits to your old friends? It would be something to look forward to anyway.

If you hate the people you work with, look for a new job. If you hate the job, have a think about retraining or getting extra qualifications to do something else.

InReality

look up SAD.
anti-depressants have very mixed effects - it can take a long time to find one that works well.
talk to your GP.

ordinary_story

Thanks everyone for all the advice, Looks like I'm on the right track.