Suicide

Adam

What makes up the leap between thinking about it and actually doing it? And is it considered selfish?

Wagon

Mirror wrote: »

What makes up the leap between thinking about it and actually doing it? And is it considered selfish?

This a general question or are you actually thinking about it?

mrpink6789

very touchy suspect but is it generally the people who don't talk about it are the one's to do it and the people who do say they are going to do it are only looking for attention?

Nevyn

OP please explain why this is a PI for you or else it will be locked.
if you want a general discussion try humanities or bio&med.

Adam

well the idea has sort of wedged itself in my mind of late...but i haven't spoken about it to anyone. though i don't think i could without talking about it, i'd feel better explaining it to my loved ones rather than just topping myself without a word...

Wagon

Mirror wrote: »

well the idea has sort of wedged itself in my mind of late...but i haven't spoken about it to anyone. though i don't think i could without talking about it, i'd feel better explaining it to my loved ones rather than just topping myself without a word...

Has anything particurlary **** happened to you of late?

Nevyn

If you are in that place then you do need to talk about it but it reall should be with those that can help you.

biko

I know thing may look dark now but things always look up. Really, talking to someone/anyone is better than doing something drastic. Do you have anyone you can talk to about this? If not there are helplines in the sticky I think.
Best of luck mate!


edit
Contact Samaritans on 1850 609090
http://www.nosp.ie/html/help.html
http://www.trappedminds.org/

AngryBadger

Mirror wrote: »

What makes up the leap between thinking about it and actually doing it? And is it considered selfish?

EDIT: Clearly not a humanities question.

If someone is thinking about suicide, or thinking along the lines of "What's the point in getting up everyday, I'd love to go to sleep and never wake up" then I think that person should talk to someone close, confide in them, maybe talk to a professional. I think most people start off somewhere at that point. It's a warning sign to watch out for.

From there, I don't know. As to whether it's considered selfish, putting my own feelings aside and wearing my "Hat of Objectivity", I think people who take their own lives must be in a terrible way, I can't begin to imagine how messed up they must be feeling to even start contemplating this, and I don't know in those instances if you can call their acts "selfish". If anyone has the right to make that call I think it's family or maybe people close to the deceased.

Gone Drinking

Mirror, i've thought about it aswell.. after just driving through Ballyfermot, i can only imagine what its like living there!

Just kidding Trying to lighten the mood a little!

Look, i've read a good few of your posts and i can tell you're sensible enough to know that its not an option and that things are never /that/ bad.. no matter how much it might feel like it.

Go and talk to a friend, or family member about it. I think you'll find they'll be extremely helpfull on getting you out of whatever place it is you feel you're stuck in.

Or i'm sure you probably have a few good friends on here that would be more than willing to listen. Either way, talk to someone.

star-pants

Mirror wrote: »

What makes up the leap between thinking about it and actually doing it? And is it considered selfish?

I don't know that many people can tell you what makes up the leap. I know I could never do it because ending my life is not something I want to do - and I would have felt too much guilt letting down people in my life. That said, I'm not saying it's a selfish choice, only those left in the situation can really make a call on that.
If it's something you're considering, the fact you came on to ask means you would prefer to find a way out - and I would suggest you do try and talk to either someone close to you or ring one of the places suggested (like the samaritans).

I know it may not mean much but when you're hitting those lows, it seems impossible that you can get out of this cloud of feeling, but believe me you can. It's tough, and means facing things you may not want to, but it's worth it. xx

edit -- Oryx says it a lot better below

LegacyUser

My brother commited suicide. He gave no warning at all, all was fine one day the next day he had taken his life. You ask if its selfish? Well, personally yes i think it is. I've forgiven my brother now (it was 8years ago) but theres still a part of me that's mad because of the mess hes left behind him. The whole family is still devastated and there are still days when i feel guilty for feeling happy.

If you are going through problems then please talk to those who are close to you. There is no problem that cannot be worked through with the help of others.

Oryx

To say its selfish is too simple. I think your mind gets so swamped by the dark place you are in that you dont clearly see the damage your suicide would do to those around you. You kid yourself that youll blink out like a light and life will go on as normal without you. (Although Im sure there are some who do hold some kind of revenge within their suicidal act.) But suicide is horrific on those left behind. Incomprehensible, heartbreaking, truly the worst thing. I think if anyone contemplating it had a single clue of what it would do to their family and friends they would never carry it out.

What prompts it? Hard to say. Being caught in a situation where you cant see a way out, not wanting to bother with the effort of going on... Its a whole muddle of emotions as individual as the person feeling them. I think in some cases its a snap decision based on one bad day in a life that doesnt feel great anyway. Which is why it sometimes seems inexplicable.

Im answering your questions as how I see it. I reckon mirror you asked them for a reason. Maybe to understand you own mind, or maybe to get insight without telling too much about yourself.

If its wedged in your head, try to think more clearly about it. Look at the people around you and think of them. Look at points in your past where you have overcome things you didnt think you would. That can and will happen with anything youre facing now. If you keep going you will get past this and think: thank god I didnt do anything drastic. If the worst comes to the worst and you feel like its the only answer, just do one thing for yourself before you take that step. Talk to someone first. Anyone. Someone here, a relative, the samaritans. Just talk. No plans no promises. Just talk if you feel that step is imminent.

kerash

Mirror wrote: »

well the idea has sort of wedged itself in my mind of late...but i haven't spoken about it to anyone. though i don't think i could without talking about it, i'd feel better explaining it to my loved ones rather than just topping myself without a word...

Mirror, it seems that this is something that you are thinking about, you mention that you'd feel better talking to a loved one about this - you should do just that, talk to someone.

GAAman

To echo what Oryx said i have been in the position that two people close to me have done it (one really close) and to say it left me devastated would not do justice to the hell i went through. Only now am i getting myself back together (she died in sept 07)

Suicide is a permanent to a temporary problem my friend, there is always a different path even if you dont see it cos of the darkness, its there

And to answer the selfish question. Yes it is, i understand what its like when you are at rock bottom and considering that as i have been there more then once. But i went through it took the anti-d's and they did nothin for me i just got through it on my own and i am happier now then i have been in a long time

Normally i would say this unregged but i wanted to show you im being sincere, if you want to talk pm me offer is there ok?

LegacyUser

I've had first hand experience too of someone who committed suicide, at a very young age.

It destroyed his family. Both immediate and extended.And it's not a solution to anything.You're gone.End of. I know it sounds harsh, but it's a horrible truth.

As for selfish..I know people are basically in an awful place when they consider that as solution.And all circumstances are different. But the bottom line for me is yes, it's possibly one of the most selfish things you can do. Through all the pain, the suffering, the depression, the anguish that you suffer...the people left behind suffer it magnified 100 times more, with no answers at all. And worse they have the guilt of thinking or knowing that they could have stopped it, or that they SHOULD have stopped it.

If that's how you feel then you need to get help. But the fact that you want to talk about it means that you're not past helping. And what makes you think that leaving an explanation will make your family feel any better about what you've done?Believe me, it won't.It'll make it as bad, or worse.So if that's genuinely what you see as a solution to a problem, its not, and you should go and talk to someone.Anyone.

LegacyUser

please dont even consider doing it,i beg you to talk to some one,i have 1st hand experience of how it wreaks lives,i actually found the person and its a sight that will never leave me,i went to the funeral and saw the family/friends absolutely heart broken and they will ask the same question for the rest of their lives....why?its something you never get over,its not like an accidental death or a death from desease its the fact that someone you loved did it to themselves and you fell so empty in side you think...was it me?did i love him/her enough?was i there for him/her?it eats away forever,nothing is worth your life...you can rebuild it again and things will change you may not see it now but it will,please dont!! the thoughts of you considering it will play on my mind,i couldnt save one i hope its not to late for you xxx you are loved xxx even if you dont think it,ill say a prayer for you

needhelpguy

Personally I am pro-suicide as i believe it's an individual choice that no one else has the right to interfer with.

However it should only ever be the last option. I would not recomment telling a professional you are actively suicidal, it is likely you would be sectioned into a psychiatric unit against your will (if that's what you think will help then go for it). But talking about it is a very good thing, with the right person you can see that 99.9% of the time it is not necessary.

No it's not selfish, its always your life and your decision. How dare anyone say that when they do not know how awful things are for someone feeling that way. They have no right to judge. I'm sure if the preachers felt the same way they would not be preaching anymore.

It's good to talk, to maybe a mental health therapist. Underlying issues that are causing the suicidal ideation can be figured out and corrected. Try that at least.

Oryx

@Needhelpguy. Have you ever lost anyone to suicide, or seen the damage it does firsthand?

As an abstract concept I understand your pov. But as a real act, that impacts on others, I dont.

LegacyUser

needhelpguy wrote: »

No it's not selfish, its always your life and your decision.

Eh excuse me but stop talking sh1te.


You obviously dont know the definition of "selfish".

Here's a start http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Selfish.



Suicide is a complex thing, of course it is selfish but its hardly normal circumstances if somebody is pushed to such extremes. Its not a decision to be taken simply because somebody believes it is selfish or not. Bottom line is it will destory many lives and nothing positive ever comes of it. There is always an alternative imo.

LegacyUser

I think people who consider it maybe are people who never lost anyone to suicide, however on the other hand i think people who bang on about how selfish it is have never experienced depression and dont fully understand what it feels like to not want to live. Its not that you want to kill yourself so much as it is that you just dont want to live anymore.