Pure carelessness

LegacyUser

I babysit regularly at weekends for a couple. And I am not happy with what thet are at. They drive home drunk from the pub. I've thought about it a lot lately and its just not right what they are at. They absolutly sicken me. They can't possibly care for their child. Its so risky what they're at. What if they were to have an accident coming home in that state and end up in hospital, or worse still dead. Their beautiful child might end up without parents. Or what if they were to become crippled due to this carelessness. They should know better.

And do you what I'm the worst one for allowing it to happen for so long. Should I make excuses and not babysit for them again. I'd feel guilty if anything was to happen to them. This couple should know better.

wasper

Unreg.for.this wrote: »

I babysit regularly at weekends for a couple. And I am not happy with what thet are at. They drive home drunk from the pub. I've thought about it a lot lately and its just not right what they are at. They absolutly sicken me. They can't possibly care for their child. Its so risky what they're at. What if they were to have an accident coming home in that state and end up in hospital, or worse still dead. Their beautiful child might end up without parents. Or what if they were to become crippled due to this carelessness. They should know better.

And do you what I'm the worst one for allowing it to happen for so long. Should I make excuses and not babysit for them again. I'd feel guilty if anything was to happen to them. This couple should know better.

You have to report them to the Garda. You are doing them a favour in the long run. Saving an innocent live , their lives & the future of their children.

Danbo!

wasper wrote: »

You have to report them to the Garda.

+1

No other option here. You may feel bad, but hey who cares, they're idiots.

Aloysius Flyte

ideally its better if you call the guards, but to be honest, depending on where they live, how close they are to your family etc etc, it might just be better to stop babysitting for them.

What can / will the guards do? They're hardly going to lie in wait now are they?. Plus, while its admirable and your sentiments are right, how long are you going to live there and you have to think of the repercussions for your family (I take it that you still live at home). I am not condoning what they do at all, I think its disgraceful and wrong, but sometimes you have to look at the impact on others and not take the higher moral stance

Danbo!

Aloysius Flyte wrote: »

impact on others

Nice choice of words.

[Sarcasm]Yeah OP, you dont want to fall out with these people. Grin and bear it.[/Sarcasm]

themadchef

So they make it home from the pub, drunk or really drunk...they make it.

I'm more concered for the kid being left in the care of people who are barely capable of looking after themselves in that condition.

I know some people will say "sure the're entitled to enjoy themselves," but seriously, there are so many "what if's" that can happen at night, from sickness, to fire, to mosters under the bed. Can 2 drunk parents really be all that responsible?


Lets say they got a taxi, is it acceptable for both parets to come home drunk and care for a child?

mikemac

It's fine to report it to the gardai but I agree, they aren't going to setup a checkpoint just for them.
By all means report it but I don't know will anything be done

chickenhawk

Aloysius Flyte wrote: »

ideally its better if you call the guards, but to be honest, depending on where they live, how close they are to your family etc etc, it might just be better to stop babysitting for them.

What can / will the guards do? They're hardly going to lie in wait now are they?. Plus, while its admirable and your sentiments are right, how long are you going to live there and you have to think of the repercussions for your family (I take it that you still live at home). I am not condoning what they do at all, I think its disgraceful and wrong, but sometimes you have to look at the impact on others and not take the higher moral stance

Good advice.

What I always think about in this situation is what happens if the child got sick later on in the night who is going to drive the kid to the hospital?

Don't report them. Quit and tell them your reasons why if you want. Just choose your words carefully.

baglady

Aloysius Flyte wrote: »

ideally its better if you call the guards, but to be honest, depending on where they live, how close they are to your family etc etc, it might just be better to stop babysitting for them.

What can / will the guards do? They're hardly going to lie in wait now are they?. Plus, while its admirable and your sentiments are right, how long are you going to live there and you have to think of the repercussions for your family (I take it that you still live at home). I am not condoning what they do at all, I think its disgraceful and wrong, but sometimes you have to look at the impact on others and not take the higher moral stance

are you fcuking kidding me????? that would just be plain irresponsible to put it lightly!!! these people are not only endangering themselves, but other innocent motorists and pedestrains. impact on others? you are having a fcuking laugh. These disgraceful pathetic people need to be reported.
OP I strongly reccommend you report them to the guards. Hopefully you will remember the times when you have witnessed this. I really think it is an obligation here. I guess we cant tell what impact it will have by you reporting them, but it won't do any harm and hopefully something could be done about it. As I said, whatever about that pair of idiots, their son and the lives of other innocent road users are in danger. People like them just make my blood boil!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

chickenhawk

baglady wrote: »

are you fcuking kidding me????? that would just be plain irresponsible to put it lightly!!! these people are not only endangering themselves, but other innocent motorists and pedestrains. impact on others? you are having a fcuking laugh. These disgraceful pathetic people need to be reported.
OP I strongly reccommend you report them to the guards. Hopefully you will remember the times when you have witnessed this. I really think it is an obligation here. I guess we cant tell what impact it will have by you reporting them, but it won't do any harm and hopefully something could be done about it. As I said, whatever about that pair of idiots, their son and the lives of other innocent road users are in danger. People like them just make my blood boil!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No one likes drink driving. But what are the guards going to do if it is reported? It might be better to have a quiet word and if they still do it then report them.

Overheal

Not necessarily the gards as its not a criminal matter, but Social Services.

AnonoBoy

Overheal wrote: »

Not necessarily the gards as its not a criminal matter, but Social Services.

I'm pretty sure you'll find drink driving is a criminal matter.

Overheal

touché

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

Good one, take the child off the hands of parents who drink at the weekends, put said child into foster care where the chances of him having an unhappy life are quite high. Nothing to do with social services. You don't know the full story so don't be so thoughtless...

As for the drink driving, it's wrong. I personally wouldn't go to the guards if you happen to know these people. I find it's best to keep your own nose clean and do what's best for you. I am sure most of the posters wouldn't go to the guardai either.

Oh as for the comment on bringing the child to the hospital if anything happens? Ring an ambulance.

You have the right thoughts though OP. Do think about it a little more, consequences may be a lot worse than you think if you proceed to the guardai.

Express your concerns but don't hassle them too much about it, oh and do it when they are sober :P

Carrigart Exile

wasper wrote: »

You have to report them to the Garda. You are doing them a favour in the long run. Saving an innocent live , their lives & the future of their children.

whoa. Lost jobs and family stress do not make a happy environment for their children either. OP, you are spot on. Explain to whichever of the family you feel easiest talking to that you will not be in a position to babysit anymore and explain your concern regarding both the possibility of drink driving and aftercare of the children once you have gone home.

Beruthiel

OP
I think honesty is always the way to go in times like this.
I would make no bones about telling them that you think drunk drivers are the scum of the earth. That not only do they have no respect for themselves and their child but they also have no respect for other people on the road.
Tell them you can no longer work for them in good conscience.
It's all you can do and it might make them think twice.

Monkey61

If they kill someone or themselves driving home drunk it will be on your conscience OP. I personally would report them. I don't understand how anyone could turn a blind eye.

If they are willing to drive drunk on a weekly basis, I doubt that you telling them you can't babysit for them anymore is going to change their minds about it. They will just find another babysitter.

Not to be overly preachy, because there are probably loads of legal situations where it is wise to mind ones own business, but in cases like this I do think you have an absolute moral responsibility to report them if they persist. Perhaps tell them that you will report them if they do it again - they might hate you, but at least they will have been warned - then it's nobodies fault but their own if they do it again and you report them for it.

AngryBadger

baglady wrote: »

are you fcuking kidding me????? that would just be plain irresponsible to put it lightly!!! these people are not only endangering themselves, but other innocent motorists and pedestrains. impact on others? you are having a fcuking laugh. These disgraceful pathetic people need to be reported.
OP I strongly reccommend you report them to the guards. Hopefully you will remember the times when you have witnessed this. I really think it is an obligation here. I guess we cant tell what impact it will have by you reporting them, but it won't do any harm and hopefully something could be done about it. As I said, whatever about that pair of idiots, their son and the lives of other innocent road users are in danger. People like them just make my blood boil!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What're the Guards going to do in all fairness? As has been pointed out several times already they're hardly going to set up a check point for them now are they?

h8red

People keep saying the guards are not going to do anything. Are you all speaking from your experience as guards?

LegacyUser

Why wouldnt the Guards pull them over? Esp at this time of the month when they are out to meet quotas. I called the Guards before to report a dangerous driver who was in front of me and they pulled him over. I also did so anonymously, Op could you report these people anonymously? Just give them the reg of the car. I would have no sympathy if one of them lost their licence as its safer for the rest of us if people like this are off the roads.

Poubelle

The primary aim of Social Services is not to remove children’s from their home and in actual fact the HSE is so overrun with issues to deal with that they actively aim to keep children in their own homes and perhaps resolve the problem in house. Where reasonably possible of course. While what they are doing may not constitute abuse (although you could argue that they neglect the needs of the children while drunk, and neglect is the most common form of abuse in society), it is irresponsible to come home drunk, unless perhaps they got a babysitter to stay over to continue to act in loco parentis while they sleep it off, as many families do. However, they are committing an illegal act by drink driving, which not only endangers themselves but innocent members of society. Therefore they should be reminded that what they are doing is wrong, in whatever way you feel is appropriate

Another relevant point to make is that you can report this situation to the Gardaí or Social Services anonymously if you would feel more comfortable with that. The family may not assume that it was you that made the complaint, as people they were socialising with, the publican/restaurateur, or neighbours could have made the report. The Gardaí may not set up a check-point to catch them in the act put could perhaps pay a visit to the family home and have a strongly worded chat with them. Presuming the parents are otherwise upstanding members of the community who treat their children well, the Gardai aren’t going to want to arrest them when they could prevent them doing it ever again. Prevention rather than reaction.

tatt chic

The drink driving is disgraceful, there isn't much you can do except go to the guards, they are endangering lives of other people, as for the kid, well if he got sick they could ring an ambulance etc, its no different than if they were drinking at home!

SpookyDoll

AngryBadger wrote: »

What're the Guards going to do in all fairness? As has been pointed out several times already they're hardly going to set up a check point for them now are they?

Well, what about that other thread where the fella got into his car to keep warm and fell asleep outside his GF's house, the guards came and nicked him, someone obviously saw him get in and reported it....so to say the Guards will do nothing is not true.

OP, I would speak to them and say you cant continue any more and be honest and explain why. Once they see that you wont turn a blind eye any more it might make them think twice.

SIBHCHEVIE

They have to be reported! Don't know if i would say anything to the family because you'll end up causing hardship for yourself and your family. Instead the next night your babysitting call the gards tell them your concerns and whats been happeing and tell them the road they drive home. That way it looks to the family like a checkpoint and your left out of the loop.

I'm pretty sure they gards will respond to it becasue I live up a small road and a guy on the road used to park his car at a petrol station at the bottom of the road, walk up from the town drunk get into his car and drive the rest of the way up the road. The gards eventually copped on to what he was doing and waited for him up our road and they caught him.

Wagon

Stop babysitting if it bothers you, tell them why and then leave it at that. Don't bother with the guards, at least not yet. Sometimes people just need a kick up the hole and it can also be more effective from a friend rather than a member of authority. Why can't they just get a taxi home?

dub45

A couple of points occur to me - I dont know your age obviously but have you discussed this with your parents? Could they approach the people concerned telling them your concerns? Are the people known locally as drinkers? Would the gardai be aware of them from any other situations?

Depending on where you are there may be a community Garda that you could approach off the record for advice on the problem. Or do you know any Garda locally that you could talk to off the record and ask for advice.

This is probably something that the Gardai have had to deal with before and they may have a solution for problems like this if it is brought to their attention.

G&T

Get advice from your parent's
I think they would know what you should do
for the best.
If you tell the guard's you may be found out and
life would be made difficult for you and your family.
I know moron's who drink and drive too,
one of the was killed in a car on the way home from the pub,
his friend's still drink and drive.

As for being drunk in charge of the kid's,
how drunk are they,would you be able to tell
as a non-drinker(am assuming your a minor)
it's not ideal but once a week to have a few
drink's is not child abuse.

LolaDub

Just a thought op but would you consider reporting them to trafficwatch? They are able to give you the option of cautioning them or giving them a formal warning? Perhaps it would cut out the confrontation on both sides and give them the wake up call that they badly need?