Quickies

rocky25

Sometimes women are overly suspicious of their husbands.

When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset.

"You're running around with other women," she charged.

"You're being unreasonable," Adam responded.

"You're the only woman on earth."

The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to be awakened by someone poking him in the chest.

It was Eve.

"What do you think you're doing?" Adam demanded.

"Counting your ribs!"

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One day a man went into a restaurant and ordered a bowl of soup.

The waitress brought his order out to him on a tray with her middle finger immersed in the middle of his soup bowl.

"What the hell's the idea of putting your finger in my soup bowl?" the man bellowed at the waitress.

"My doctor said the best thing for my rheumatism was to keep my finger pressed in a warm damp place," the waitress informed him.

"Oh yeah," the man shouted,

"Then why don't you take that finger of yours and shove it up your fat ass?"

"I'm sorry sir the waitress replied, but I already tried that before I brought your soup out."

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A man, called to testify at the IRS, asked his accountant for advice on what to wear.

"Wear your shabbiest clothing. Let him think you are a pauper."

Then he asked his lawyer the same question, but got the opposite advice.

"Do not let them intimidate you. Wear your most elegant suit and tie."

Confused, the man went to his rabbi, told him of the conflicting advice, and requested some resolution of the dilemma.

"Let me tell you a story," replied the rabbi.

"A woman, about to be married, asked her mother what to wear on her wedding night.

'Wear a heavy, long, flannel nightgown that goes right up to your neck.'

But when she asked her best friend, she got conflicting advice.

'Wear your most sexy negligee, with a V neck right down to your navel.

The man protested: "What does all this have to do with my problem with the IRS?"

"No matter what you wear, you are going to get screwed."

coldfire1x

Last one was brilliant

Podge2k7

I thought the second one was hilarious!

dh0661

All good as usual rocky, #3 was best :rolleyes:

staker

relentless rocky!
no.3 the best:D