So there's this guy...

LegacyUser

Ok I'll try keep this short and sweet.

Had a serious relationship with a guy for 2.5 years. We were crazy about eachother for the most part but he is selfish and i am stubborn and even though we still really cared about eachother we got in to a really bad habit of him breaking up with me over really really small arguements and me taking him back when he realised how petty he was being.

Anyway, eventually a year ago now we broke up for good. I was devastated and expected him to come back a week later, when he didn't I asked for no contact....he was not able to do that, so we decided to be friends, then we would sleep together, then we'd fight, then we'd go off for a few weeks, then we'd be friends, then i would say i wanted to get back together - and he would say no and the cycle continues....

Eventually when i just could take anymore about 3 months ago i asked for no contact because we were both seeing other people- neither of us seriously but moving on was so overdue.

He for the first time ever took it seriously and i really really did move on, felt way better about things, i still felt like our connection was phenomenal but i understood that i would never be happy with someone who was so quick to dump me and i could never be secure in a relationship like that.

I went on holiday2 weeks ago and a few days in read on an internet forum that both me and my ex post on that he was in a really bad head on collision with a drunk driver. He posted it himself so i knew he was ok but i felt so sick reading it.

I texted him to make sure he was ok and he said he was....i ended the conversation a few times and he continued to reply. I stopped.

I was on holiday with 2 couples and i started comparing their relationships to my old one. I noticed how much they fight and realised that we were actually really happpy together just my ex was so quick to break -up over stupid things.

Anyway, about 3 nights later my ex called me hysterical (and very drunk) saying he was in shock from the crash and he realised no one cared about him. He was saying he was stranded in town and wanted me to bring him home, even though he knew i was away. I was a bit dismissive - annoyed he was dumping on me when i was away but i also really felt sad for him.

The next day he called to apologise, we chatted a bit and he said it was good to talk to me. When i got home the other day he mailed me and i was replying out of politeness and because i do still care and he phoned me and we stayed on the phone for 5 hours. It was just a catch up and neither of us mentioned what it meant or whether or not we should be doing this.

My head is so melted. I've come so far to get over him and i can feel myself falling for him all over again. I've been here before and the liklihood is that he probably doesn't even want to be with me, he's just lonely for a friend, I just can't turn my back on him but i don't want to get sucked in.

Its reallly hard

Poloman

Look. If he treats you like that I wouldnt waste my time with him.

LegacyUser

Its a real toughy by the sounds of it....

First thing I would say - don't let this car crash thing work as some sort of emotional blackmail. I dunno if thats what he's doing conciously or subconciously, but ultimately you wouldn't be in this situation if it didn't happen.

Take a step back. Breathe.

Tell him that you are very sorry, you care for him, but that you can't do this at the moment.

Try and take a step back and look at the whole situation AS OBJECTIVELY AS POSSIBLE!!
Maybe this thing has changed him for the better, maybe you guys could be happy again.
But then again maybe not (and I have a feeling most of your replies will tell you to forget him, but ultimately its only you who can decide what's best). There was a reason you broke up and there will obviously still be feelings but that dosn't neccessarily mean that they're right.

Basically, you have come a long way it seems and it was a hard struggle. Don't ruin all this hard work just because he was in a serious accident (sorry don't mean to trivialise it). As I said take a time out, step back DO NOT RUSH INTO ANYTHING! Try take you mind of it as well; don't think of it as a problem. Then in a month or 2 see how you feel. You don't seem to be in the right mind frame to make a decision now.

Bottle_of_Smoke

If he's interested I think it's worth giving him a chance. You've had a long break now, strict conditions though, if he starts the immature dumping thing then call it a day once and for all

nc13

I think you should end it now before he hurts you again. He has issues to sort out, that is why he dumps you after a fight. That's his way of avoiding responsibility for his side of it. This will chrush you in time.

[WoW]

if you really dont want to go back, cut contact. i know its really hard but if your totally over it theres no point in going back and going through all of that again.