Feeling down and feel theres no way out.

LegacyUser

I dont even know why Im posting tbh..

I seem to have it all, unbelievably good friends, fairly clever, live in a nice area and am not strapped for cash, good boyfriend etc.

Im just so down all the time for the past while, any insignificant thing can happen and Im nearly breaking down in tears. A song, a programme, food - i only have to see/hear them and I feel like bursting into tears.

Im doing important exams this year and Im studying pretty much all the time, I do take time off to myself however as the workload increases this is becoming increasingly difficult. No matter how much I do, I always feel that its not enough and that I could be doing more.

Im finding it very hard to sleep and am taking sleeping tablets much more often than Id like. I just cant seem to switch off - Ive become so cynical about everything these days.
My favourite time of day is night, I curl up with my duvet and wish that I didnt have to get up the next morning.

Im normally so full of life, a really bubbly person, very motivated. I just fell so.. I dont even know how to describe it.. its like a horrible, sinking feeling where nothing really matters any more. Its either this or Im so worried and anxious that I feel sick.

I just want to get into bed and never get out of it again, and I dont know why.
I have a hard and important decision to make pretty soon, and I just cant get away from it. I know what I have to do but I just cant bring myself to do it - and I know even when all's done Im going to be in an even worse place than I am now. I just cant cope anymore.

Sorry for the long rambling post, I guess even just writing it down on this is bound to help a little, isnt it? I have nothing to loose...

I realise Im coming across so full of self pity in this post.. believe me Im usually not like this at all, Im involved with different charities and am usually the one out of my circle of friends that pulls everyone up when they're feeling down. I dont deserve to feel like this, I have so much. My problems seem so insignificant in the grand scheme of things, yet I cant get away from them.

I dont know if Im posting looking for advice, but If anyone has any going spare, pass it this way..

Thanks.

codeblack

It sounds to me like you are very very stressed right now, and no wonder, you've got college and exams to worry about. I also saw a lot of myself in what you said, or how i used to be, and at that time i found out i was suffering from depression. Any little thing could set me off, a song, ad. i would go to bed and in the morning i just felt i couldn't face the world, would want to stay curled up in bed forever. I think you really need to talk to someone, in your college there should be a free counselling service. This is something you should definitely consider. Maybe you could go and have a chat with your GP. I found talking to someone really helped.

star-pants

I too would suggest a chat with your GP - just to talk out everything, they might suggest something to help. I do feel for you, I have been in similar situations myself, and it can be so hard to get up and do something to fix it because you're so stressed and upset. But it will be better for you to do something now, it might help ease the tension a bit, make things more manageable. You're under a lot of stress and feel there's no way out, but there is - there's always a way, it's just harder to see from where you are right now *hug* Do go to your GP and see if they can help

Kirnsy

you need to talk to someone....

you clearly have a lot going for you and dont lose sight of that fact.

do other people know about this or are you bottling this up?

as i said at the start...you need to talk whether its a trusted friend/boyfriend or some one professional.

good luck

LegacyUser

OP here, thanks for the replies.

My closest friends know how I feel, I have spoken to the councellor in my college.

I dont feel like the GP can do much tbh.

Its like a downward spiral, each day is worse than the next. When I dont want to get out of bed, its not because I have nothing to live for, its because I know that that day is going to be that little bit worse.

Has anyone else been in this situation? I dont want to take antidepressants, am I really that depressed? A family member takes them and they have changed him completly, I really don't want to go down that route.

Talking just doesnt seem to help.

What now?

thanks again to those who read and replied, much appreciated.

Victor

Unregistered wrote: »

I dont want to take antidepressants, am I really that depressed? A family member takes them and they have changed him completly

Are you sure it wasn't the depression that caused the changes?

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

Well anti-depressants do have side effects... I know some that are on them, some claim that they "mess" them up.

Bottle_of_Smoke

How long it affecting you? I'd go cousellor first. I've heard GPs hand out anti-depressants like candy and they do have a stigma. also they're generally ineffective for mild depression.

I'm not trying to belittle you by saying mild but if it's only a recent thing (which I inferred from your post) it might have started as mild and now seems to be getting worse and worse. Perhaps talking to a professional and doing something liek the gym or a sport could help

LegacyUser

Victor wrote: »

Are you sure it wasn't the depression that caused the changes?

Im sure. Bottle_of_smoke it seems to be a fairly recent thing, ie. in the last few months. Looking back it coincides with the start of this acedemic year.

I have tried exercise, really does help however I just dont have the time now to keep it up. Its either an extra hours study or sleep that wins unfortunatly.
Honestly, if i go to a councellor I know Im goign to have to deal with the root causes - and I cant do that at the moment. To get out of this living environment (I live at home, am 18 - and no its not teenage angst!) I need to get my exams.

Thanks for the replies, I guess Im looking for little ways to learn how to cope with this better.

Much appreciated.