Texting Disaster

LegacyUser

Alright,
With the gf about 6 yrs. Always seem to be out together and have mostly the same friends. I absolutly adore her and would love to spend the rest of my days on thos planet with her.
Now, The problem. I was out d other night without her and got talkin to this girl. I ended up talking to her and found out she was an ex of one of my mates. We spent the whole time talkin about them. She gave me her number an told me send her a txt about meetin up for coffee or what ever so drunkenly i did. She didnt reply and i woke up in the morning feeling guilty for my actions. My gf thought i was acting weird so she checked my phone ( i know she shouldnt, but it doesnt bother me) and saw the texts i sent the girl the night b4. she asked me about the night wonderin was i talkin to anyone etc and texting blah blah and i denied it to the hilt. before she told me she had seen the messages, I deleted ur ones number from my phone and this cause more hassles because she thought i was trying to cover my tracks. I know this was stupid but i really didnt want to cause hassles between us as we are only back together a few months from a short break and i didnt want to disrupt the camp because we are getting on electric since. Even thou i done nothing wrong but lie she is livid at me for next telling her about the texts and the worse thing is i know she wouldnt have minded if i had come clean in the first place. How can i possibly make it up to her to forgive me because she is uttler disgusted at me and i am scared senseless she is going to leave me over these stupid texts. I done nothing but now she is doubting everything

Please give me any advice

chin_grin

First thing you could do is repeat that verbatim to her.

Also deleting the number and the texts looks like you've something to hide so of course she'd get on the defensive.

Joleigh

I can see why shes angry, lying gets you know where! You'd be better off being truthful from the start. Tell her everything, tell her you stupidly text the girl (what did your text say by the way?) and tell her you'll delete all numbers and texts cos you've no intention of contacting this girl again!

Oh and buy her something nice. Pressies always go down well!

LegacyUser

I have no idea why i lied. I think i thought it would cause a fight even thou lookin back i know it wouldnt. I think there is a small under lying issue in that i prob have more friends than her. She is amazingly beautiful (way out of my league, but thats a diff topic) and women seem to shover her out over it. What would be a good present to buy her? I really want her to forgive me over this. she just text me saying "you have me disgusted. I know you didnt score but the messages look like you had interest. you look so suspicious". There is no way to prove i dont have interest but i dont want this to be the ruin of us

SarahJ

You should have just told her the truth, it's never half as bad once it's the truth. You didn't really do anything wrong, not like you kissed the girl or anything. Obviously you're girlf would have been pissed that you texted he, but deleting the number etc just makes you look guily, when really you didn't do anything. I'm sure you just did it out of that initial 'oh crap, I'll just do the first thing that pops into my head' and deleted them. But just tell her what you told us.

Wagon

Tell her everything. Apologise. Then leave it. Let your lady cool down for a bit then if she's any sense she'll believe you. Be careful though, don't go jumping through hoops for her. Apologise for lying but not chatting to other women. It was just a little slip up, keeps the relationship interesting

Just saw your update. She's blowing this way out of propertion. Give it a few days.

kmick

Flowers, apology, explanation = good books.

Heisenberg.

This post has been deleted.

Joleigh

Joleigh wrote: »

Oh and buy her something nice. Pressies always go down well!

Don't buy her anything. Present scream of trying to buy your way out.

Talk to her, be 100% honest and apologise. If she makes you walk through broken glass for this after that then thats her problem, but an explanation and an apology and perhaps a promise that it won't happen again is all you should do.

star-pants

Firstly it doesn't appear you did anything wrong - you spoke to a friends ex and exchanged numbers -- why did you feel guilty the next day?
Also when you gf questioned you, telling the truth would have saved some hassle but you know for next time. I understand you thinking that it would be easier to deny things cuz then she couldn't get wound up over nothing but the fact you did makes it worse when she finds out - as it made it look like you were hiding.

She shouldn't have gone through your phone - that's invasion of privacy, and to question you like that to see how you'd respond is a bit harsh.
All you can do is apologise (as you've done) and say that you didn't want her over reacting to nothing and went about it the wrong way and promise next time you talk to anyone you'll let her know.

That Girl..

You won't lose her over this..
If she was gonna finish with you she would have done straight away..

Do buy her something or if that looks suspicious take her out for a meal..

Tell her how much she means to you to her face and how you'd never do anything to hurt her, it'll take her a few days but she'll get over it.

She probly just wants to drag it out a bit, i do it sometimes!!

vandermeyde

I'm getting a bit confuddled here...Did this all happen on the one night?

You got her number, headed home and texted her on the way? You said she didn't reply so you texted again or she did reply and you had a text conversation? you say you deleted "messages", was that just a typo?

Why would your girlfriend go straight for the nuclear option of checking your phone if she thought you were acting strange?

All seems a bit suss to me. You need to sit down and be straight with her. Save the presents until after you've sorted things out.

From a girls point of view do NOT buy her a present before you've sorted it out. That reeeally bugs me... Once you've explained your stupid mistake and she's forgiven you, maybe bring her out for dinner later that week or something. Wouldn't be a big fan of randomly buying her a 'thing' present either but making an effort to do something together a few days after is a nice touch.

No present.
Just apologise for lying and don't be so stupid again.

Do not apoligise for talking to the girl all night though,that was innocent and you are entitled to do that.