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  • 19-11-2008 1:06pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi All,

    This is my first post here and I really feel I have nowhere else to turn to. Last year my wife and I seperated after I had had an affair. I have accepted full responsibility and have attended counselling myself to deal with a number of issues that I had. I have maintained in contact with my wife via text, email and the odd phone call. Many of the texts and email remain unanswered.

    I still love my wife dearly and realise that the affair was a cry for help in many ways and the step too far that I had to take before I got help. [I have not seen the other person involved since the affair came to light]. Should I keep trying to show my wife that I am a better person having sought help and that I can offer her the type of marriage that she wanted?

    I realise that having the affir was a selfish act but I truely believe that if I keep trying that we can save our marriage. Or am I being naive?

    Thanks for your opinions.


Comments

  • #2
    Beruthiel
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 42,362 Mod ✭✭✭✭Beruthiel


    We cannot answer those questions, but your wife can, why not ask her?
    It must mean something that she continues to keep in contact with you.


  • #3
    crazzzzy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 379 ✭✭crazzzzy


    You say you've been for counselling but what about both of you going for marriage counselling?

    Only your wife can give you the answer you're looking for so maybe its time ye met up & talked about what happened & how you've changed.

    Some people can forgive a cheating partner especially when they've made a good attempt at making changes in their life.....unfortunately some people feel they can never trust that person again.

    Do you know how your wife feels bout you now? do you think she still loves you?


  • #4
    VeryBerry
    Closed Accounts Posts: 81 ✭✭VeryBerry


    Unregistered wrote: »
    I realise that having the affir was a selfish act but I truely believe that if I keep trying that we can save our marriage.

    I think the most important thing, is what does your wife believe? Is she even willing to try and save your marriage? Because if she's not, I think you'll have to accept that it's over, and try move on.

    But like other posters said, we can't answer those questions. Your wife is the only person who can tell you if she wants to try fix things, or not. So, I think the next step is to have a reall good talk with her about it.


  • #5
    Drummerboy2
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 899 ✭✭✭Drummerboy2


    Are you thinking of going to back to the woman you had the affair with if there is no recoincilation with your wife


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