Men & Marriage ???

LegacyUser

I am a in mid 30's and my boyfriend of 6 months is mid 40's, divorced with one child. He has had a 4 year relationship since he split with his wife and was single for a year til he met me. Since day 1 it has been pretty perfect, we have gotten through some serious hurdles (his health) and have a close and loving relationship. We spend as much time together as possible, when he is here (cos he works a few hours away) I stay with him and all our friends and family like us as a couple.

In the early days, we both said we would like kids within a good and healthy relationship and would both get married (him again). He has talked about the future - planning holidays for 2009 and also down to me changing my car in 3 / 4 years time and what we would buy then. He has talked further down the line to when he retires and where we could love with a few drinks in him.

I love him a lot and do see him as the man for me. He thinks this is the best relationship he has ever had and tells me he loves me everyday.. My question is do I just let things go on and see if he suggests making the relationship more serious.... I know its only 6 months but we have been through more in 6 months than married couples and have come out the far side...

I would love to settle and have kids with him and while I know he wants to be with me, I am not sure if he sees the same time pressure for having kids as I do...

Should I talk to him about this or would it make me into the stereotype for 'needy' girls who want to grab a man....

unreggd

Do you want to get married because he wont have kids outside marriage?

It sounds very simple, but you should talk to him

its amazin that noone every tries that


But you have a point, he wouldnt have such a bio-clock compared to a woman

and he may be reluctant to marry again after going through a divorce

Do you know why it ended, and how their relationship was before marriage?

I dont think you're bein needy at all, just dont bombard him right away, just tell him how you feel, then get his opinion on the situation

good luck

LegacyUser

I am somewhat a traditionalist and would prefer to have kids within a marriage (I dont care what anyone else does and this is only my personal preference.. ) He feels the same and is willing to get married again but would like to only have kids within a stable relationship (makes sense to me).

I know why it ended and how their relationship was but he is wise enough to realise that I am not her and we both try to keep our baggage out of our relationship.. So far thats worked pretty well..

Bottom line - he would like more kids and to be married again but I am just not sure, even though he has talked about the future and totally integrated me into his life, if he wants to marry me...

Do men think about this when a girl is a 'certain age'?

seahorse

Girlfriend* wrote: »

In the early days, we both said we would like kids within a good and healthy relationship

Regardless whether it feels like it or not, at six months in, you're still in the early days. I think you should take it easy re marriage and kids and see how the relationship progresses.