Sex buddy/relationship?

LegacyUser

I don't know where i stand...

Regular user here, i feel the need to go unreg for obvious reasons.

I met this guy about 5months ago, we got on well. It was more like **** buddy situation with two people that really like each other.

Somewhere along the line, he starts calling me babe, hon etc and i didn't mind as i liked him. 3 months into this, i stopped messing around with other guys.
4wks ago i mentioned my work christmas ball(i was shopping for a dress) and he asked me who i was going to the ball with and i said no one, and i never thought to ask him as i wasn't sure. He said he would come with me, which i thought was very strange as he knows i am close with my work mates and they are protective of me.

So before halloween, we were talking about our outfits etc. I asked him what he was doing the on the Friday and he said he was broke and couldn't go out plus he had a match the next day. I didn't think and i invited him to a house party i was going to, i also offered to pay for his cab fare home. He declined, thanking me for offering to pay for his cab fare. Then he asked me why i wanted him at the party, i told him it was a house party and cheap/free drinks... Then he starts acting strange(no texts/mails/calls), so i asked him "What's the story with us?" And his response was "I thought we were having fun?!"

That made me think that there was no hope for the two of us, and even though i am not sure what i want i don't want to be a **** buddy for this long.
Last saturday he was meant to come over, he rang me and told me he was on his way over and i waited up for him and he didn't turn up. I texted him to ask him where he was.He said i sounded really tired and sleepy and he didn't want to disturb me so he went home, previously he never had problems disturbing me at odd times of the night. I was so upset i told him, i couldn't do us anymore and that was it.Then on Tuesday i got some really bad news, i was devastated and i mailed him. He was really really supportive, i didnt expect him to be so supportive.
He tried to meet up on Thursday and Friday but i had plans, so last night after the match i texted him(i cancelled my plans as i was tired) and asked him to come over. He was out on a stag, he rang me at 1 and told me he was on his way over, at 2 when there was no sign of him i texted him. He then replied, he said he came to my place, he forgot my apartment number and his battery was dead and he didn't know what to do so he headed home.

I was very very angry, because i don't know if i believe him. And this is the second night in two weeks he's cancelling on me, i don't know if he's lying or not.

A few points i have to make
1. I really like this guy, i would consider a relationship with him although i am not sure if i am ready for one now.
2. I am normally very strong, independent etc. I don't nag, i don't bug or anthing like that, i am very direct. I don't like mind games either
3. My friends think i don't care, or i don't make any effort. The reason for this is i have been burned before, and i don't want to get burned again. So i am cautious with everything i do and say.
4. We found out that i earn a whole lot more than him. But he doesn't pay rent or buy food as he lives with his parents while i live by myself.



So boardsies, do i forget this guy and move on or do i hang on to what we have and what we might have(they say dreams come true ). And if you think i should move on, how do i go about breaking things up with him considering we are not in a relationship either.

SarahSassy

He is messing you around by not showing up when he says he will. Forget him and move on.. Just tell him the truth that he is not treating you well and you dont want to have sex with him anymore...

cantdecide

SarahSassy wrote: »

He is messing you around by not showing up when he says he will. Forget him and move on.. Just tell him the truth that he is not treating you well and you dont want to have sex with him anymore...

I'm inclined to agree. I think guys fall in love easier than you think and at this stage, if he's not too bothered about you and things have changed in your mind, it sounds like he's knowingly treating you badly. It's impossible for us to know. I'd try confronting the problem because being **** buddies is only fine as long as you're both on the same page...

themadchef

I know it's hard to hear "run" but that's what your friends would tell you, and that's what most people on here will tell you.

There are so many people (myself included) who let them selves be treated like this early on in a relationship because your rose tinted glasses smooths over the razor blade edges of utter disrespect. Let me be crude..he's getting his hole (presumably) and you're getting your hopes up.

Love is a very powerful thing. Some of us then go on to get married and when the treatment get a gazillion tiles worse you wonder why?

Be with some one who loves you AND respects you, you deserve it.

sorrywhat

arggg! that **** buddy dilema. I think this guy doesnt know what he wants. he sounds like he is messing you about , why dont you ask him face to face.

dontcallmecrazy

the fact that his actions upset you and make you angry, makes me think your developing ''feelings'' for this dude.

dangerous situation to be in heart wise, if its not mutual.

once the **** buddy situation starts to affect your emotions, its time to cut the string, other wise whats the point, if you wanted your head wrecked etc etc.... you be in a relationship!

John_Mc

VeryConfused wrote: »

I don't know where i stand...

A few points i have to make
1. I really like this guy, i would consider a relationship with him although i am not sure if i am ready for one now.
2. I am normally very strong, independent etc. I don't nag, i don't bug or anthing like that, i am very direct. I don't like mind games either
3. My friends think i don't care, or i don't make any effort. The reason for this is i have been burned before, and i don't want to get burned again. So i am cautious with everything i do and say.
4. We found out that i earn a whole lot more than him. But he doesn't pay rent or buy food as he lives with his parents while i live by myself.

Eh, what the hell has that got to do with it??