a Debate on age difference!! whats too old whats too young?

LegacyUser

hey guys i have a mega crush on a lesbian whos a good ten years older than me ( 20 and 30)....

so whats your opinion about age difference...does it matter less in gay couples( because i mean we dont have such a large spectrum of choice...dont mean to step on toes but it is true) or is it the same (the old " 2 year rule" until ur ata certain age).

or does love break all boundries???

be interested in seein what you think about this!

swiss

I would generally follow the "age divided by two plus seven" rule, but like most rules, there are exceptions. An age difference of ten years isn't huge, but 20 and 30 are very different ages in terms of life goals. For example you might not be yet ready to settle down in the same way as she might be. But if you're just looking for a casual relationship then I don't see the problem, if you're both happy to see each other then happy days.

Nevyn

Depends on what you want out of it and what she does.
When it comes to fun filled flings age gaps don't really matter but it can do in a more serious relationship.

shay_562

I'd broadly agree with swiss - "half your age plus seven" is a good rule of thumb. I think "stage in life" is also good indicator though - there's a massive difference between the lifestyles of, say, someone in secondary school and someone in college, or someone in college and someone a couple of years into a 'real' job. If the gap in your case is 20/30 it's likely that the two of you are in hugely different places when it comes to living conditions, jobs, plans, how serious you feel about it etc., and that could potentially cause problems. That said, that doesn't mean that (a) you shouldn't give it a try anyway or (b) that you're both necessarily looking for a massively serious relationship. To be honest, the reason there is no hard-and-fast rule is that everyone is different, so it could well work out in your case. Good luck either way!

p-flaps

ill tell you one person you dont wanna ask "whats too young".... the glitter man

jaffa20

Well my partner is 11 years older than me so i win Doesn't bother me tbh and we're together for 3 years so must be doing something right. Go for it, regardless of age, it's about happiness.

What's this stupid divide by 2 plus 7 rule.

22 /2
=11 + 7
=18???

4 year difference.... huh???

azezil

jaffa20 wrote: »

Well my partner is 11 years older than me so i win Doesn't bother me tbh and we're together for 3 years so must be doing something right. Go for it, regardless of age, it's about happiness.

What's this stupid divide by 2 plus 7 rule.

22 /2
=11 + 7
=18???

4 year difference.... huh???

Well I'm assuming you're 22 and your partner is 33?
33 / 2
= 16.5 + 7
= 23.5

You're not that far off his mark

blathnaid21

Age is only a number and it makes no different whats so ever no matter what.as long as you love the person thats all that matters.

grotty

I think it is all about the stage of life you're both in. One person being in a serious job with responsibilites, going out with a party mad student for example isn't great. Either or both of you are having to compromise more than you should. It's all about being able to relate and have things in common. The older people get the less "age difference" matters, cause once you start working, settling down, it's all pretty similar...

hot2def

As long as its legal, who cares?

Selkies

blathnaid21 wrote: »

Age is only a number and it makes no different whats so ever no matter what.as long as you love the person thats all that matters.

Actually it represents how many years you've been on the earth.
It matters, which is why having sex with people younger than the legal limit is rape, minors can't vote, drink alcohol and smoke cigarettes.
Assuming they are both still over that crucial age then age still matters because while the age difference always alters the dynamic of the relationship. I've been out with people of many different ages and people who were significantly older than me were always at a different point in their life, and that put a certain amount of distance between us.
Not saying that distance can't be crossed but you should still acknowledge its existence and its effect.

jady88

Selkies wrote: »

Actually it represents how many years you've been on the earth.
It matters, which is why having sex with people younger than the legal limit is rape, minors can't vote, drink alcohol and smoke cigarettes.

I seriously doubt that he was trying to dismiss the legal practicalities of age difference.