30 and never been kissed

LegacyUser

For obvious reasons I am going anonymous on this one!

My esteem is seriously low - I have never had any success with girls, not even a kiss.

There is nothing wrong with me bar shyness. I have a great group of loyal friends, I'm often told by girls that I am "so nice" but I think they see me more as a big brother than anything else, looks are ok, personal hygiene is fine, I would be considered good craic. Once I feel comfortable in somebody's company i open up but I think people that don't know me would see me as being very distant - I'm just not good at making chit chat with stranger.

I just don't know how to build up the confidence to build relationships because I am lonely and depressed. I am not gay and I know that I would make a very good and loyal partner ifi I met the right person. But I just fear a life on my own.

Your lonely and depressed because of this issue?
Be brave and chat to women you fancy. Most women do not make upfront moves on men, especially shy ones. They give signals and if you fail to pick up on them, they will assume your not interested.
If you keep putting yourself out there, eventually you'll become comfortable in the situation and your natural self will shine through.

The kissing thing really is academic, often peoples kissing styles don't match and it is awful anyway. Google a bit of ettiquette and you'll be miles ahead of the pack.
Nobody is going to think that your inexpierenced.
I know women in your situation, it isn't as unusual as you would think.
Seriously I'm dating your age group and that doesn't even constitue as weird. The last guy who chatted me up went off and had a conversation with a strand of my hair.

How about trying internet dating? That way you can get to a comfortable place with someone before you met.

And boards is holding a single night on the 28th of November in case you are looking for a practice ground. More details to be found in the events forum.

peanuthead

Also, confidence building classes will not only help your self esteem, but it will open the door for you to meet other people like you, who it would be easier to feel more comfortable with, maybe even women. Im thinking of doing this myself at the moment to be honest.

SarahSassy

Try going away on holidays with a good friend and meeting girls there. There is less pressure on you and its effectively only a 'hook up' which should in turn boost your confidence...

If you have friends, then you can have a girlfriend - there is nothing surer.. Its very difficult being shy but you have built this into a 20 foot wall that you cant get over.

Internet dating could be a great way to start learning how to date but just dont take it too seriously...

Start with people you dont know and are unlikely to meet again and take baby steps from there.

unreggd

You say you have a great group of loyal friends, yet you're lonely and depressed?

I think you have bigger issues to sort out first before lookin for some smooches

and sortin them out should in turn help the latter out anyways

SarahSassy

unreggd wrote: »

You say you have a great group of loyal friends, yet you're lonely and depressed?

I think you have bigger issues to sort out first before lookin for some smooches

and sortin them out should in turn help the latter out anyways

He doesnt necesasarily have bigger issues to sort out. When I was single for a long while, from time to time, and often coming up to Xmas and the various couply holidays I would feel very lonely and down. Maybe not clinically depressed but definitely down... Its very possible to be lonely even though you have many friends... At the end of the day we all come into and leave this world on our own.