Not happy at all.

LegacyUser

A few things that really pee me off. I am in college this year, second year, I go five days a week and put in long hours. I go to training three nights a week (which means I get maybe six hours sleep a night) and on the weekend I work for the whole day. I have no motivation what so ever. The college work is piling up and i just do not care. I know I should but hell. I have to keep the job as thats needed at the moment with regards to money for the house. I really hate the job I am doing sitting, listening to people talk all day and telling them all the same rubbish all the while trying to sound happy and thanking them for asking me inane questions. I like the training I am doing because it is physical and not much thinking is required.

Due to all of this I have no time to do anything else and i am extremely unhappy. I just dont want to get up in the mornings and i sit here wondering why the hell do I bother?

I am apparently a very sociable guy on the outside but I am not on the inside, whenever i get knocked back by a girl or fail at something I get hit pretty hard emotionally but I always grin and bare it. I have never had a girlfriend. All I really want is someone to just talk to and just be with, why is that so hard? Seriously, why do i bother?

Kevster

Hey dude,

I can relate to much of what you're saying. I've been depressed my entire life - basically - and I know no better. However, this does mean that I am somewhat familiar with depression and am able to cope with it. You will also be able to cope if you can just manage to stay afloat for as long as you can. You don't have to do your college work to perfection, for example, and you also don't have to do as much training as you are doing.

It may sound idiotically obvious, but part of life is knowing when things are getting too much and backing off a little.

Kevin

star-pants

OP,

from the sounds of it you're burning the candle at both ends, and becoming frustrated because you're not feeling any different as time goes on. I've done the double jobbing etc to keep my mind preoccupied from other things that got me down but it didn't help, I just ended up sick.

You need to back off on something, maybe less training, give yourself a night off - go socialise and you may find more friends/ people to talk to. Also you need to think if you really want to do your course, if all this work is building up it's going to catch up on you at some point and the last thing you'd want is to fall behind in college.

I do understand where you're coming from, you wonder why bother when I'm not getting anywhere etc, but the point is - you need to try because you can find things out there that help. I was the same for a long time, why bother? why be friendly, why put effort into anything when all I was getting was hurt and sad. But it got to a point where I had to act, and I'm not perfect by any means but I'm getting there. You can only sort one thing at a time. And right now you need some company and friendship.
You could also perhaps see the college counsellor and have a chat as they may be able to help you arrange a new plan / thought pattern.

*hug

LegacyUser

You've taken on too much. You don't have time for anything like a girlfriend right now, besides the stress would wreak the relationship unless you're brilliant at managing it.

I did the same:
5 long days college
2.5 days work

It was hell and I eventually dropped out.

But I went back a few years later:
4 days college (sometimes 5 but with a couple of half days and late starts)
2 days of work
and a girlfriend.
I wouldn't have passed the course without a girlfriend!