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I'm sick of worrying

  • 15-11-2008 3:26pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    This is going to be such a stupid issue to some people, but i really would appreciate some advice. Because some people are so secure and confident in here, you probably won't get it! The thing is I am so sick of worrying that my boyfriend is going to leave me. We have been going out with each other for 3years and are very happy. Anybody would tell you he is head over heels in love with me, and anytime we have an argument he gets really upset. He worships me and I worship him.
    The thing is, I am paranoid, and it all came to a head last night when i had the same dream again for the third time in two weeks, where my boyfriend leaves me for a different girl. In the dream he is so cold, and i am left there all alone with nobody, crying and he won't bother trying to talk to me.
    I was engaged six years ago to a guy who cheated on me with a girl i knew. I know this has made me wary of everyone, but i just want to be able to trust my boyfriend. He has never ever caused me to be doubt him, he is the best in the world, what if i destroy the best relationship of my life? :(
    What can i do?


Comments

  • #2
    Trinity
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,662 ✭✭✭Trinity


    Unreg sad wrote: »
    This is going to be such a stupid issue to some people, but i really would appreciate some advice. Because some people are so secure and confident in here, you probably won't get it! The thing is I am so sick of worrying that my boyfriend is going to leave me. We have been going out with each other for 3years and are very happy. Anybody would tell you he is head over heels in love with me, and anytime we have an argument he gets really upset. He worships me and I worship him.
    The thing is, I am paranoid, and it all came to a head last night when i had the same dream again for the third time in two weeks, where my boyfriend leaves me for a different girl. In the dream he is so cold, and i am left there all alone with nobody, crying and he won't bother trying to talk to me.
    I was engaged six years ago to a guy who cheated on me with a girl i knew. I know this has made me wary of everyone, but i just want to be able to trust my boyfriend. He has never ever caused me to be doubt him, he is the best in the world, what if i destroy the best relationship of my life? :(
    What can i do?



    I get it.

    Not much advice to give but if you have no cause to doubt him then you just have to keep reminding yourself of this. And telling yourself that if you dont stop you will lose him.

    Dreams are only your subconscious. These are your fears so its really no suprise you are having these dreams.

    Your ex hurt you badly. Dont let him continue to ruin your future. I am sure you have gone through a lot but you have to try put it behind you.

    Promise yourself to put a stop to it today and take one day at a time.


  • #3
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    That level of insecurity is bound to posion your relationship and eventuall drive him away.
    I suggest you talk to him and that you figure out where this is comming from.
    If things are so wonderfull what it is that has you doubting so much ?


  • #4
    Oryx
    Subscribers Posts: 19,425 ✭✭✭✭Oryx


    Dreams are inside your head, they are not reality, they are a reflection of your own thoughts. And you already know your worried he will leave. Your dream is only echoing that. So first, dismiss them as any kind of 'premonition'.

    But... We have a funny knack of making what we feel come to pass. If you live your life as if your fella will leave, it will affect how you are with him, and guess what? He might just leave as a result of that. So you need to change your thinking and your behaviour. Live your life as if he is going to stay. Even if you dont feel it, act it. Also, if you cling to him to make hims stay, you might end up crushing him with possesiveness. He is not your ex. You need to let the damage that caused go. You need to accept your man and hold him with open hands. As in, live with what he gives you today, and let tomorrow take care of itself.


  • #5
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Thanks for replying, to what seems like such a silly problem in what is happening in todays world. And thanks for acknowledging that this is indeed my world.
    You are right, I am afraid he will leave, I know he is not my ex, I do try to be positive, I am not a bad girlfriend in any other way, we have the best time. We live together and have been through so much!
    I would go to see someone if it meant it would help me in the long term??? I just can't ever see a time where my biggest fear in life is him not being here! :( I'm pathetic, i know.


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