Going out with Someone

LegacyUser

my problem is that although on nights out or whatever I hook up regularly I have never actually had a girlfriend. The reason for this is I could never imagine going on a date. I am very popular with the lads at work and have great craic with the girls there but the thought of going on a date one on one and having to make conversation is completely foreign to me. Its fine on nights out when I am pissed and talkative but in a restaurant for example I dont know what I would talk about I could hardly go on and on about football! A lot of people say stuff like ''Just ask her about her favourite movies,books etc.'' but to me arriving at a date with a list of questions will only bore your date so how do people do it? I dont understand.

petethebrick

You don't have to go for dinner for a date until you get to know someone a wee bit. For the first couple of times you meet go for a few drinks. Even the most confident of us can get nervous when going to meet someone new for a date but that's part and parcel of it. Don't go to the cinema or anything like that for a first date as it can be a little uncomfortable sitting next to someone you hardly know watchin a movie. Drinks says I!

SpookyDoll

^^ I totally agree with that. Too often a restaurant is just too artifical and corny an environment to relax properly with a date.

I definitely think drinks is more relaxing. You dont feel like a toolbag from some sappy American film there with your knife and fork talking about pretentious stuff you've no real interest in!

Star Lord

Unregistered wrote: »

...having to make conversation is completely foreign to me. A lot of people say stuff like ''Just ask her about her favourite movies,books etc.'' but to me arriving at a date with a list of questions will only bore your date so how do people do it? I dont understand.

Do you have any difficulty talking to people? If not then you would have no difficulty talking to someone on a date. The ability to communicate with someone is one of the key things that makes people mentally attractive, if you can hold a conversation and make people laugh etc. You don't have to prepare questions or anything, just ask her about things about her that interest you, or bring up something you like, ask what she thinks of it... if conversation doesn't flow naturally then IMHO it's going to go nowhere anyway.

Zulu

Thats gas. I never looked at it like that.
I used to go to a resturant for a date, because I really loved going to a resturant. To me, sitting down to food was a great way to promote conversation. However, clearly, this isn't the same for you.

Find something you like; something you really like; something you are passionate about, and do that. This way - if she also likes it, you've something in common, if she doesn't like it, you are clear from the start. The point is to get to know each other.

uglyjohn

id say go for a few drinks, providing you pick the right pub.....you want somewher with a bit of backdround noise/conversation/music....but not somewhere you cant here them, it'll make the conversation strained.

try and get them talking about something thet are interested in to ease into things.

i used to be the same, couldnt imaging going out and talking to anyone for the night sober....then i went of booze for a month and a bit. after a few nights out i learned a lot and had no probs keeping the conversation going and having fun with everyone....you just need to be confident and get over the hump at the start....of course it helps if she is naturally chatty!