To stay or to go that is the yadda yadda...

LegacyUser

Hi long time watcher here- rare poster....but really love the advice people give

Maybe people could help me out here.

Met Miss z at a birthday party in a Co. Louth bar two months ago- got on great. Passed numbers-both keen to meet up again. No kissing.

Met for date- went really well as in great form with each other, nice convo, I though really hit it off etc etc. However no kissing cause I made no move on her at all- the reason why I did this was cause I wanted to a gentleman (yep I’m an idiot) also I was quite nervous.

She seemed to really enjoy date- had a great night seemed to like me. She text me a few times next day saying she would love to meet up again…mentioned wanting to be friends- was not sure how to read that.....

Since then- for two months- she has texted me about things, invited me out a few times, I have done the same (I normally intiate texts), etc etc- but we have NEVER met up again. Stated reasons on her side has been that she was sick, very very busy at work (which I know to be true cause she has very stressful job in health which has got crazy stressful in recent weeks in particular) etc.

Also a few times she never replied to my texts and invites- which I think rude/or a signal that she was not interested. I was not able to meet up the couple of times she asked (which happened in the first few weeks after our date)…but also I have done much more of the asking out since…..

I kind of got sick of this so let her drop so did not ge tin touch for a forthnight or so- but then sent her a random text recently- and she got back all happy- and she invited me to a party in a bar that she is going to.

Now I know it is hard to get an understanding of everything from this short post but please could you give me advice.

a) Should I go? Even though I do think she has been a little rude in terms of not replying to me…but I also think she is cute and smart and I would like t osee her again…….

b) Should I make a “move” on the night and take me chances????

c) or would it show more dignity just ignoring the invite.

d) Should I approach it like a second “date” or just be very casual about it


I am in my mid twenties so is she…..I know I sound like a teenager about all this…but I am not great at reading signals.

irishcrazyhorse

Like you I met a girl and we hooked up recently,we also work together!
Been honest I could not work out out at all.
Wasnt sure if she saw it as a fling or as the start of something!

So I decided just to throw it out there and ask.

I simple told her that i was going to be blunt and ask her something and if she wasnt interested then it would be forgotten about forever and we would injoy the rest of the night!

It worked,she wasnt sure but she liked my bluntness so we said we would see how things go on the understading taht if either had a problem we would just say it!

So in short, "be BLUNT"

MagicMarker

Don't reply, delete her number, never talk to her again.

Move on.

Firetrap

Hmmm. On reading your post, I think it might be a good idea to leave it be. It's odd that she didn't reply to your texts. No matter how busy someone is, they can surely spare a minute out of their lives to send something back. As a woman, if I met a man I liked and he sent me a text, I'd definitely reply and make an effort to stay in touch.

I wonder is she stringing you along? Perhaps she's got her eye on someone else (or did up until recently ) and has only gotten back in touch with you because she's single again. I could of course be way off beam here but I'd be suspicious myself.

Doozie

Unregistered wrote: »

mentioned wanting to be friends- was not sure how to read that.....

Sorry but I think you answered your own question. She texted you and said 'friends'.
You could go, have the craic, see if there is anyone else there, and expect nothing.

butdasjusmeopinionlike

NoQuarter

just go and make a move, if you blanked you havent lost anything major so its grand!

LegacyUser

Cheers for advice so far guys..

the consensus seems to be don't go....bit surprised normally advice on this board is take a chance sieze the day sort of thing

But I prob agree with yous. Only thing is that she has sent mixed messages by text and in messages she left on phone- sometimes seems very friendly and on for meeting and then pulls out because of work etc.

The thing is she maybe into someone else etc like someone said...but I don't have a huge amount invested here- so maybe turning up in the pub and just seeing what happens might be an idea? I know on the date- I gave her no indication that I was physically attracted to her cause I made NO move- and she asked for the date.......I was thinking of that in the context of the 'friend' comment she later made.

one of the things holding me back is that making a "move" in this situation is a little different than if it was the first time we met- cause there has been weeks of texting etc......might be awkward

I dont now I'm split at the mo........

not yet

Ah....that sounds so sweet.

GET the fuc*ing boat....she's seeing someone mate simple as.

Do not let her mess you about, move on,delete her number.

If on the otherhand she contacts you play hard to get and make her work for a change.

Always nearly never works for me ha ha.

LittleMissLogic

I'm also quite surprised at the responses you've been given.

I met a guy recently. We had a "date" or whatever. And there was no kiss.

He text a few days later and asked me to meet him.

I was up the walls at the time and had to refuse. Because of this we didn't meet for another 2 or 3 weeks.

Yadda yadda, met up again eventually. We went on 3 dates before there was a kiss. Initally I thought it strange that there was no kiss but when it did happen it was 10 times lovelier.

Anyway, my reasons for not meeting him were genuine. Hers probably are too.

I really want to know exactly what the "friend" message said. She could just be playing her cards close to her chest.

Not replying may simply be playing hard to get. Everyone does it.:cool:

If I had no interest in a guy, I wouldn't text at all. But she has text a few times so....
I don't really see what the problem is..

LegacyUser

made a move despite the evidence and advice here....got struck down

I'm an idiot and it hurts bad.

Doozie

Unregistered wrote: »

made a move despite the evidence and advice here....got struck down

I'm an idiot and it hurts bad.

Awh man, I'm crushed for ya. Listen, you know now, its all grand, you can move on and leave it as a lessen learned. She should'nt have lead you on if she did so I hope she is cool enough to not let it spoil things. Plenty more fish in the sea.....somewhere....out there.....