Sensitive emotions

00_katie_00

Lately I have been feeling so annoyed by humans, strangers around me, its getting to the point that I think they are idiots.

I work as a Secretary and whenever anything goes wrong i get the blame, whenever i pass calls through to people they just take the call before i even get the chance explain who is calling for them & slam the phone down without a thank you.

I am a very sensitive, 22 yr old girl, who is always soft spoken and polite to all i meet, i am so often being let down by humans around me, let down by how rude they are to me and to others, I know it shouldnt get me down but because i am so soft and caring it does cause i know i was taught to never treat a someone the way they treat me.

I'm moving countries in a few weeks and i finish my secretary job very soon but i will leave a very different person than when i signed up for it, i have lost my faith in humans, how could i keep it when it keeps being crushed?

Every night i go home i feel sad about it, I even cried when the man slammed down the phone on me, it made me feel so worthless... how can I stop these feelings? How do I stop other people dictating my emotions? I dont seem to be able to do it... please help!

SpookyDoll

Hey OP,

I used to be like you are years ago. I remember working on a reception and being filled with angst about just what you are describing.

I was brought up by quite an overprotective, dutiful mother and while its nice to instill manners in kids, like you I was totally emotionally unprepared for the real world.

All I can say to you is it takes time. You will have to help yourself too though by dropping your idealistic standards. People are rude/curt/unmannerly for all sorts of reasons and dwelling on every little thing they do and taking it personally will do you no good.

for your own sake I would urge you to try to toughen up a little bit. Try using humour a bit if you can to stand up for yourself, but dont go around seeing every day as a battle of "you" against "them" as you will only draw bad attention on yourself.

A lot of people view passiveness and extreme perfectionism and dutifulness as a sign of weakness and it will draw on you the very type of behaviour you dislike.

Try to take a deep breath and not care so much, its suprisingly easy when you get to know how. Believe me it makes life so much easier. Look I am not saying "if you cant beat em join em" but aim to toughen yourself up a little bit and give as good as you get.

biko

I find that people are not often rude but very often inconsiderate.
They don't deliberately try to make you cry/feel bad, they just don't care.
They have their own lives and problems to think of and often just don't think about what other people might think.

1. Don't take it personal, it's not you.
2. If you find someone being over the top, deliberately rude then try to confront them. They probably didn't mean it but it's good to show what's not acceptable.

Best of luck!

mikemac

You are a receptionist so you are in the front-line. So are you going to taking the abuse for everything and anything. It's not acceptable but it's gonna happen in the real world!

If someone in the mailroom fecks up, you are the person who'll answer the abusive call as an example. You can apply this to all your co-workers.

And you'll find people can be very abusive on the phone and can send nasty emails and letters but wouldn't dream of saying a word if they were in reception with you.
Don't take it personally, they don't know you and have never met you

When I was in hotel reception we were told "they are not shouting at you, they are shouting at your uniform". They may hate your company but they don't know you so they can't possibly have a problem with you personally.
You'll find this in every workplace and everywhere you go.

When I first read your post I though you might be timid but you mentioned you are going to a new country in a few weeks. Congrats and some people who have never gone travelling (me anyway) would consider that brave. Well done

Peewee_lane

Hey miss, Im 24 now, began as a recpetionist when I was your age, then worked as a legal sec. I quit there at the end of July because of how you're feeling. There are nice jobs and then there isnt, but be smart, keep your job till the recession is over and then tell them where to stick it.

She Devil

I just don't get why people believe they can blame their secretarys for their own mess ups!!
However hun, you have good days and you have bad days, it is called growing up and gaining experience of the real world, the rat race of the human race, there are goodies in it but there are more baddies!! Thank your lucky stars you are leaving there soon and be glad that you have the experience under your belt, believe me you will be glad of such tough experience dealing with hard people such as your colleagues, further down the line in your life.
I had experiences like that in my first job, it made me tougher, way tougher than i thought i could be, i'll never become like the lady that gave me the hard time, and never would I thank her, but I believe her being tough helped me with future colleagues, and interviews! So maybe there is a silver lining for you to.

AnonoBoy

When you say people slam down the phone on you when you pass a call through do you mean they actually just click through to the call.

I know at work when the receptionist passes a call through to me I simply click the button and take the call - I don't have to hang up. Mind you I always say 'thank you'.

But as others say - most of these things aren't designed to hurt you. They're just thoughtless.

I think you need to take a step back and try to figure out why this is affecting you so much.

LegacyUser

There are lots of ignorant and stupid people out there but they are in the minority.

The majority of us are easy going, nice, considerate and want an easy life.

Sometimes I am rude to people in call centres as I've been waiting on the phone for ages listening to a recording telling me that my custom is of value to them. As soon as I start talking to them though, I realise that they're just someone doing a job and I treat them with respect.

People can be rude to me in my line of work but I work for myself and while I used to take a bit of it, now I tell them what I think.

My neighbours were rude to me about a parking space outisde my house that they feel is their's - if they had been nice to me, I wouldn't park in it. They approached me in an arrogant rude manner and are now paying for it. Manners pay off!