Boyfriend talking to girl online

LegacyUser

I have been going out with my boyfriend for three years, living together for two and a half. We met online. About a month ago we had a pretty big row which resulted in him sleeping in his office. By choice, its not the first time he has left for his office during an argument. Well last night I found out the reason he's probably so keen to kip in his office is so he can talk to a girl, nearly ten years younger than him, online. This isnt the first time he's admitted to keeping secret online profiles. He's lied and then been caught out twice before. He claims it was all innocent but if it's so innocent why keep it under wraps and lie to me? I dont know what to think. I feel that if he's lied about this much, is there more going on that I dont know about? Given the fact that we met online ourselves just makes me feel like an idiot for giving him a third chance only to have it thrown back in my face again. Sorry for the cliche but its my head saying go and my heart saying no.....

sorrywhat

when you mean chatting online is he just talking or talking dirty?

do you know if he has met up with this girl(s)??

Cos he met you online do you know if he dumped someone to be with you?

Id be fairly wary about this chatting online and secret profiles.

Have it out with him. but if he is going to his office to chat there isnt really anything innocent about it cos he clearly didnt want you find out.

IMO i would chuck him cos he has done it before

SpookyDoll

Three strikes, habitual criminal -I would end it there OP.

Chucky the tree

what age is he?

Beruthiel

Unregistered wrote: »

Sorry for the cliche but its my head saying go and my heart saying no.....

And what does your gut say?

LegacyUser

Sorrywhat -thats the problem. I have no idea what they were talking about or if he's met anyone. Of course he claims they ''were just talking'' but knowing that he's already proved himself to be a liar how can I believe him? Do guys hide things from their girlfriends if its all so innocent?? I just dont get it. Is he talking to girls online because our relationship wasnt fulfilling him? Feel like the past three years have been a sham.

LegacyUser

Good question Beruthiel. My gut instinct is that he hasnt physically cheated on me but when this came out about the online crap he looked shocked, he actually went pale and his hands were shaking, possibly through guilt i dont know. He seemed quite sad when admitting what he'd been doing but moments later got very angry with me, telling me to f**k off and that he'd done ''nothing''. I dont want to give his age as I'd prefer to keep this as anonymous as possible but he's in the 25-30 bracket.

Beruthiel

Unregistered wrote: »

Good question Beruthiel. My gut instinct is that he hasnt physically cheated

No he hasn't, but he has hurt you.
One would have to ask the question, what is lacking in your relationship that he feels the need to do this behind your back. If he were happy in the relationship, this kinda thing wouldn't even occur to him.

sorrywhat

Unregistered wrote: »

Good question Beruthiel. My gut instinct is that he hasnt physically cheated on me but when this came out about the online crap he looked shocked, he actually went pale and his hands were shaking, possibly through guilt i dont know. He seemed quite sad when admitting what he'd been doing but moments later got very angry with me, telling me to f**k off and that he'd done ''nothing''. I dont want to give his age as I'd prefer to keep this as anonymous as possible but he's in the 25-30 bracket.

no way

he got angry. you should have been the one to get angry.

also the fact that he got worried then i think there is more then just chatting going on.

i wouldnt really take that **** tbh, if i were in your shoes he would be gone.

if ye were younger say 18-20 id say something. but he is an adult and knows what he is doing is wrong so that is why he hid it.

Tigger

its probably a man

LegacyUser

I dont care what he say's its cheating. My girlfriend was the same, she had dozens of men who she talked to about BDSM on the web and TBH I also found out that she used to request NSA meetings via websites like craigslist- Once I found out I never had the same feelings for her again. She totally broke my trust and my heart.
Some of these people who she met even emailed me!!
Move on girl, its sick what your fella is up to -- sick!!!

marzic

this is the problem with text, chatrooms, face-ache, etc, its totally suited to 'no-good'. in the old days, it was easier to clamp down on misdemeanours because it was sort of out in the open, but its a different story now. OP it may be innocent, it may not, but the optics arent great!

Katgurl

he's broken your trust repeatedly. dump him or this will get worse. I don't envy you, had the same problem with my ex.

MIN2511

Hmm...
cut your losses and move on

I find that people are very open online, so whatever they've been talking about could be quite sexual and that can be classified as cheating.


OP, what do you want to do? Because we can rant about the pro's and cons of the relationship so far and what the future holds for the two of you.

If you don't trust this man, then it's time to move on. And if you do trust him then you need to discuss this as adults and find out why he feels the need to chat with other women online.
1. Is the relationship lacking intimacy
2. Is he not satisfied?
3. Any future for the two of you?

jessbeth

I would definitely be getting rid of him, that's one of the first steps to cheating. If he told you that he had an online friend and had nothing to hid it would be no problem but not when he purposely kept it a secret.