bit of a dilemma...

LegacyUser

semi regular boardsie here in a bit of a dilemma.

i'm in college - final year, and i'm living with a girl that i've known for most of my time in college. nothing's ever happened between us, and this is the first year we've lived together, as mates. there's others in the house. over the past while we've been joking about being a husband and wife because we live together, go to college together, go out together etc. and i think that i'm kinda now liking the idea of being in a relationship with her. not because of the jokes, but because she is a realy genuine, funny and beautiful woman.

only problem is, i'm not sure how she feels. we're close, we get on swimmingly, but there's never been any touchy feely stuff or anything at all like that. if it was a random/less serious friend i'd be more likely to do something but since we live together that could lead to some extreme awkwardness which i'm keen to avoid for obvious reasons. on the other hand, i don't want to have regrets either. we're both single - she's a couple of months out of a reasonably long term thing. i don't know what i should do...

like i said i don't want regrets, but i don't wanna create a problem when there is none. do i get a friend to ask on the QT to see what she thinks? i hate suggesting something a 12 year old would do but it's, right now, the only thing i can think of. or am i just getting caught up in the joke and seeing something that's not there? i'm also conscious of my own...cautiousness/lack of self confidence which has hele me back in the past (i am trying to work on it)

would appreciate any advice. thanks.

kingofthecastle

thats a tough one alright, i think your right about getting a mutual friend to test the water to see what she thinks. that way you'll know for sure. good luck!

TEH REAL CDP

Go for it! Seriously, just bite the bullet.

If you're that good friends with her then the friendship will prevail no matter the answer. Asking friends is childish imo. You don't need to make any grand gestures, just ask!

I'm going out with my gf for the past year, but we were friends for about 5-6 months before anything happened at all. She probably has the same feelings as you do, you just don't realise it. Be really calm, assert yourself. You can do this. Just pick your moment and go though with it. You could ask her if you're getting signals from her and you don't know how to interpret them... She'll either say yes or no... but she could say yes...!

You're living together...! Ask her if she'd like to rent a dvd with you and get some pizza or something... make sure its just you and her. Then ask! It's inly awkward if you make it so. You're both at the end of your degrees I'm taking it, so you're an adult... go and do it yourself! She could be crushing on you and you won't know until you ask her. Alternatively just make a move on a night out and see what happens...

All the best OP. Get to work! It'll wreck your head if you don't....!

Just. do. it.

LegacyUser

you could say you want to take your relationship one step further and jokingly propose to her, then make a move. If she's clearly not impressed you can laugh it off as a joke, but let's hope that she'll happily accept your proposal [and you'll be sorry ever after]...

best of luck!

LegacyUser

OP here. thanks for the replies guys.

i like your way of thinking real cop - all good in theory lol. actually had an evening similar to what you suggest on friday, before i posted. nothing happened obviously but it was good, just the two of us, got on well.

would like to other people's opinions on the getting a friend to ask her thing though. i konw it's a cowardly way normally but given the circumstances is it the most convenient way to do it?