i need help

LegacyUser

hi.

im sorry for all my grammer mistakes so just to let ye know, i may go off into another topic but ill get back to my point.

where to start. im 24 years of age, boring repetative job. ive been single now for a month, i was going out with this amazing woman for 4years, i loved her so much, we did everything together and she was my life. She always made me smile, laugh and we never fought apart from the few silly agurments. i loved everything about her, i used be very shy and insecure especially about my body, once i was with her she changed my mind. i felt more secure about myself and more confident.


i found out she was cheating on me. she went out one night when i was at work, met this guy in a club went back and had sex with him. she never would have told me other than the fact I found out. we swapped phones for a few days coz her phone was broken, in that space of time she met that guy in the club and added his number to my phone, same night they had sex.


so one day i rang my mate thinking it was my actual mate but it was the guy who she was with. i didnt know what was going on, so i hung up thinking i rang one of my x gf's number. i got a text from that number a few hours later saying stay away from her shes mine now so i went over to her house and talked with her, she told told me everything with details aswell of their nite together which made things worse.


im not the person to shout or yell at anyone. I keep all my emotions bottled up, i dont get angry, you would think i do because im rather tell person who looks very intimidating but im not. ive never expressed my emotions, i was bullied all my life through school and never did anything about it, little kids used even mock me in school even though i was in 6th yr and they were in 1st yr.


I have my heart broken so many times before and this time ive had enough. So that night when i called over to her house to talk about that guy who sent me the text i ended up breaking up with her, i didnt want to, i wanted to forgive her because i hate being alone. My job is very unsociable hours, i work with computer and work weekends, its sad to say that i only have one friend, i live hours away from my parents and my sister lives in a different country and i miss her so much.


I really didnt want to break up with my x but i had to, ive never broke up with anyone before because its always everyone breaking up with me. The thing is, everything reminds me of her, the apartment i live in, my car, where i work. I cant get her out of my mind, ive tried so many times its just too hard to let her go. i just want to be able to hold her again and for everything to be ok like it was. When i do think about her all i can image is her having sex with that guy and it tears me inside and throat gets so sore like i want to cry.


I couldnt say a bad thing about her when we were going out, she was so beautiful and had a smile that could light up a room and i always wondered why someone so beautiful could be with someone un attractive as me but obviously she saw something in me other people didnt. Some of the guys in work said just go sleep with some woman, but i cant, it feels like i would be cheating on her, its wierd i know. Im just going to say everything ok, i tried to kill myself before, it was a stupid thing i know.


I got a phonecall from my previous girlfriend who i was going out with for 2years and all she said on the phone was i cant be with you, deal with it. she wouldnt answer my calls or texts and to this day i still dont know why she broke up with her. Im sorry for ranting off and maybe getting some people confused. I just need some help, i cant cope anymore, all i do is work and sleep, i do enjoy my job and i dont think i could get a better job because i have no college certs.


I dont know what to do with my life to cheer myself up, i hate being upset all the time, im just sick of it. i want to be happy and enjoy my life but i know i cant. When I was driving home tonight after work I was thinking to myself, i dont care about anything and i have to purpose to live, what if i crashed my car on purpose, no one would miss me. It felt like the right thing to do. Im not afraid to say but i havent stopped crying since i started this message, as I type it and now im reminding myself of all the good times I had with my x and now I have nothing so whats the point of life if I have nothing.


Please can someone reply, even if its something small. thank you for reading this

LegacyUser

Hey big guy, chin up. As they say, life is simple, it is the people who make it complicated.

I've been in similar situations- the feeling of betrayal is devastating. On the upside, in the aftermath of my relationship, I was forced to socialise- and managed to quickly build up a fantastic network of friends after my circle had stagnated in my long term relationship. Just keep busy, go visit your parents, start and evening course etc. I think you'll find most people on here will recommend keeping busy and it is really the best way forward.

Give yourself a bit of space to clear your head, decide what you want and then sit down with herself.

tannytantans

Hey,

I really feel for you, it's always extremely difficult to catch a partner cheating but u did the right thing finishing with her - even if it doesn't 100% feel like it now.

You have to try to turn this into a positive though and rebuild your life. Start by trying to meet new people. Do you ever have nights out at workIts a great way to get to know the people you work with and you never know who you might get along with.

You say you work unsociable hours - would you be able to take up some sort of a course for a few hours during the day?Again a great way to meet people and it would solve your problem of not having any qualifications. There are courses out there on everything!You just need to look around. Another option would be to take a year out of work (if u have that option) and do a bit of travelling if you'd be interested. You'll meet loads of new people and have great experiences!

To sum it up - put yourself out there!I know its hard ay first and you have to put in a lot of effort but it can pay off!

Wish you the best!

bronte

Hi Op,
I'm so sorry to hear of your troubles.
I know it must have been really hard to break up with your ex but maybe it was the right thing for you. Betrayal is a rotten feeling as I'm sure you know.
You mention being frustrated with your job/hours etc.
Have you thought about doing a course in something you'd really enjoy?
I'm 24 too and have just begun a postgraduate diploma in London which was a big change for me but really worth it.
Things will be hard for a little while but I promise you they get better with time, honestly.
I hope things turn around for you.

Tigger

hi.

hey dude

im sorry for all my grammer mistakes so just to let ye know, i may go off into another topic but ill get back to my point.

i cant spell or grammer nut thats a differet tangenty

where to start. im 24 years of age, boring repetative job.

quit ~(if its boring and repetitive then quit i used to quit my jobs or get fired all the time
now i own my own business and have loads of fun/money)

ive been single now for a month, i was going out with this amazing woman for 4years,

dude i read the post you were not going out with an amazing woman you just thought you were

i loved her so much, we did everything together and she was my life. She always made me smile, laugh and we never fought apart from the few silly agurments. i loved everything about her, i used be very shy and insecure especially about my body, once i was with her she changed my mind. i felt more secure about myself and more confident.

this is an issue you were not an individual strong and confident ienough in your self to be in this intense a realationship,

i found out she was cheating on me. she went out one night when i was at work, met this guy in a club went back and had sex with him. she never would have told me other than the fact I found out. we swapped phones for a few days coz her phone was broken, in that space of time she met that guy in the club and added his number to my phone, same night they had sex.


so one day i rang my mate thinking it was my actual mate but it was the guy who she was with. i didnt know what was going on, so i hung up thinking i rang one of my x gf's number. i got a text from that number a few hours later saying stay away from her shes mine now so i went over to her house and talked with her, she told told me everything with details aswell of their nite together which made things worse.

see not an amazing woman. look yer both better off without each other but you just need to buck up a bit she's fecked cos she has a damaged soul and will never be happy

im not the person to shout or yell at anyone. I keep all my emotions bottled up, i dont get angry, you would think i do because im rather tell person who looks very intimidating but im not. ive never expressed my emotions, i was bullied all my life through school and never did anything about it, little kids used even mock me in school even though i was in 6th yr and they were in 1st yr.

how much do you weigh what build are you

I have my heart broken so many times before and this time ive had enough. So that night when i called over to her house to talk about that guy who sent me the text i ended up breaking up with her, i didnt want to, i wanted to forgive her because i hate being alone.

fear of being alone is tithe worst reason to be in a realationship seriously you need to get yer head sorted and to get independant confident and happy
then when you don't need anyone else then and only then will you be ready

My job is very unsociable hours, i work with computer and work weekends,

quit

its sad to say that i only have one friend,

you can work on that

i live hours away from my parents and my sister lives in a different country and i miss her so much.

when you've bucked up you should go visit her

I really didnt want to break up with my x but i had to, ive never broke up with anyone before because its always everyone breaking up with me. The thing is, everything reminds me of her, the apartment i live in,


car, where i work. I cant get her out of my mind, ive tried so many times its just too hard to let her go. i just want to be able to hold her again and for everything to be ok like it was. When i do think about her all i can image is her having sex with that guy and it tears me inside and throat gets so sore like i want to cry.

so cry

scream rant rage get a punchbag and gloves and knock seven shades of crap outa it

I couldnt say a bad thing about her when we were going out, she was so beautiful and had a smile that could light up a room

thats nice shows youn youy can pull a decent looker. no biggie

and i always wondered why someone so beautiful could be with someone un attractive as me but obviously she saw something in me other people didnt.

stop that . she's a crap girlfriend but you need more self esteem

Some of the guys in work said just go sleep with some woman, but i cant, it feels like i would be cheating on her, its wierd i know. Im just going to say everything ok, i tried to kill myself before, it was a stupid thing i know.

sounds like you have more mates than you think
thats a great idea no strings women would do you the world f good but if yer not ready yer not ready

I got a phonecall from my previous girlfriend who i was going out with for 2years and all she said on the phone was i cant be with you, deal with it.

see she's not the greatyest person in the world now is she ?

she wouldnt answer my calls or texts and to this day i still dont know why she broke up with her. Im sorry for ranting off and maybe getting some people confused. I just need some help, i cant cope anymore, all i do is work and sleep, i do enjoy my job and i dont think i could get a better job because i have no college certs.

better than what? than a boring job that rewards you in no way?

i disagree

I dont know what to do with my life to cheer myself up, i hate being upset all the time, im just sick of it. i want to be happy and enjoy my life but i know i cant. When I was driving home tonight after work I was thinking to myself, i dont care about anything and i have to purpose to live, what if i crashed my car on purpose, no one would miss me.

i'm sure yer family would disagree

It felt like the right thing to do. Im not afraid to say but i havent stopped crying since i started this message, as I type it and now im reminding myself of all the good times I had with my x and now I have nothing so whats the point of life if I have nothing.

you need confidence

join a public speaking class and learn to assert your self publically
then you can quit yer job and find a job interacting with peopk,e an d working more sociable

hours


look at this

http://www.toastmasters.ie/otherclubs.html

Overature

go on some mad holiday to find your self, or move to some other country and start afresh.... good luck

LegacyUser

where do i start to reply but say thank you for your replys and especially Tigger.


Well the thing is about my job is that yes it is repeative but being in that company is good experience and i can go up the ladder which today from a meeting is looking like its going to happen and branch off into what i do enjoy which is networking. We do have team nights out but that involves everyone getting drunk and being in a niteclub, thing I dont drink, im not that type of person who goes out and gets plastered and i rly like chatting up drunk women. i enjoy nites in, watching movies and just relaxing but obvisouly that isnt an option anymore. Even one of the guys at work today said was I ok coz i seemed upset over the past few weeks, he said that i could talk to him about anything but im too scared because i know id start crying and i wouldnt feel comfortable, im more comfortable typing my emotions.

I'd love to do a course but you see I work from wednesdays to saturdays, start at half 3 and finish at half 2 in the morning so you can see that i dont have many options for a course or social life. I cant leave because because of what i mentioned above.

Im sorry for repeating myself but all i can think of is her. Things today went really bad, when i was finished work i got a text from her asking me to send her credit to call a cab, i replied and said why where are you, she replied with she was at this address and i knew that it was that ****in dickhead ****buddy of hers......i just got so bloody angry to think that she had the cheek and disrespect to actually want me to call her a taxi to get her and she was probably having sex with him. It made me upset and angry. The thing is she knew I would but i just kinda stood up for myself in a wierd way and **** her to myself.


Just even saying this makes me want to have changed my mind and picked her up just to see her but i wish it would have been different circumstances. About the my figure question im 6foot4 and 18stone. I know most large people say oh im just big boned but i actually am, i am a big fella but yet im still so insecure about myself, the thing that bothers me the most is that im not as you well packaged and when she said to me when the guy that she was with just took off his clothes she just said "wow, im not used to it being that big" and that rly lowered my self esteem alot, because i am small and i know it girls say size doesnt matter but its always in the back of my mind. im sorry about if that disgusted some people. I know my mother would die if I did anything to myself, she'd become a wreck.

I think that is what I am afraid of the most, being alone, i hate being alone but I am going to try and get out more. Im afraid I cant afford a holiday since i have lots of expenses, bills paying money back to my parents which they have lent me over the years.

But I know that I will never be with a good looking woman, im not the most attractive person so i know i cant get with a good looking women, she obviously just saw whats behind my face. Im not that type of person who goes for looks because I dont have them, I dont know i guess it was a bonus or something that she was very attractive.

Thank you for the website link aswell. Ive been thinking of asking this woman out for a drink but i think theirs other guys who are already on her. So I dont know what to do but i'd feel bad if I meet up with someone and things happened but the thing is, why should I feel bad since my x is already with someone and seems happy while im in a black whole. But I just do and I need to get rid of that feeling.