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Can NOT get someone off my mind

  • 08-11-2008 2:29am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I think even just typing this will help me stop obsessing, but any feedback is greatly appreciated as well.

    As the thread says, I can't stop thinking about this man. Let's call him James. We met through friends a little over a year ago, and there was an immediate attraction, but due to messy circumstances (me being in a relationship with another friend, let's call him Aidan, which, looking back, should have just remained a friendship), we never got together. He was a large part of why my realtionship with Aidan broke up. Aidan had his suspicions but as far as I know never appreciated the extent of James' involvement. After Aidan and I broke up, James and I slept together a few times, generally after a night out.

    Anyways, didn't see him over the summer (we're all in college), and have only seen him 4 or 5 times since. I genuinely thought that with some time apart, the feelings I had for him would disappear, but they haven't. I realise that the attraction I felt towards him could've largely been because fo his "off-limits" status, and that I was maybe using him as an excuse to get out of a relationship I didn't want to be in...but I don't think that's the case. I think we could make a genuine go of it. In any case I think a bit of closure i.e being able to be with him (even just for a night) without having to hide it to save Aidan's feelings would be great.

    But, because of the messiness of the situation last year, which led to a few ugly scenes between us, it's now a bit awkward, whereas we used to be very close,we now only ever socialise by proxy, like I call over to see his housemates and he happens to be there, or we end up in the same group on a night out. I don't know how to raise the subject. He seems very angry at me, or maybe just hurt or just tired of the drama of it, or whatever. Should I try to rebuild the relationship-as in just make an effort to get to be friends with him again-or just keep on as I am and try to get him out of my head. He's been in permanent residency there for more than a year, so I don't see it happening.


Comments

  • #2
    MagicMarker
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 32,865 ✭✭✭✭MagicMarker


    Why would you want to rebuild a friendship with someone who you would like to be more than a friend with? It seems quite clear that he doesn't want to be more than a friend, or even just a friend on it's own.

    You won't get over him if you keep seeing him out and about either, stay away, it's the only way you'll move on.


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    OP here. Took the wonderfully blunt advice received here and for the past two weeks avoided situations where I knew I'd see James, kept myself ferociously busy with college and things to try and keep my mind off him. Then last night I invited a couple of other friends over to watch movies, and he tagged along with them. And he kissed me. So, so much for him not wanting to know me, huh?


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