Grandma etc!

Stevecw

GRANDMA

The family wheeled Grandma out on the lawn, in her wheelchair,
where the activities for her 100th birthday were taking place.

Grandma couldn't speak very well, but she would write notes when
she needed to communicate.

After a short time out on the lawn, Grandma started leaning off to the
right, so some family members grabbed her, straightened her up, and
stuffed pillows on her right.
A short time later, she started leaning off to her left, so again the
Family grabbed her and stuffed pillows on her left.

Soon she started leaning forward, so the family members again grabbed
her, then tied a pillowcase around her waist to hold her up

A nephew who arrived late came up to Grandma and said, 'Hi Grandma,
you're looking good!
How are they treating you?'

Grandma took out her little notepad and slowly wrote a note to the nephew......

'Bastards won't let me fart.'
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A woman walks up to an old man sitting in a chair on his porch. "I couldn't help but notice how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long, happy life?"
"I smoke three packs a day, drink a case of beer, eat fatty foods, and never, ever exercise," he replied.
"Wow, that's amazing," she said, "How old are you?"
"Twenty-six."
_________________________________________________________________

A black kid was give a pair of wings by god. The boy asked "God, does this mean i'm an angel?"
God laughs and says "Of course not, you idiot...you're a bat"!!
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dh0661

Stevecw wrote: »

A black kid was give a pair of wings by god. The boy asked "God, does this mean i'm an angel?"
God laughs and says "Of course not, you idiot...you're a bat"!!

:) lol :)