What do I say to HER?

rogha

Right so, here's my story:
I used to work in a shop in the city centre amidst the high street shops.
Over time some faces became farmiliar and some predicably regular. One of
the hairdressers who worked around the corner often walked by my shop in
the morning on her way to work, as I waited for the boss to arrive. She
was/is stunning. (Nothing major there, I know but bear with me)

About 2 years ago, I was out on a night out with a couple of college
mates in a club. The music was full on, I had a couple of drinks in me
and was strutting my stuff on the dance floor. When, of a sudden I saw
this same girl out the corner of my eye, on the dance floor, dancing
away. I kept dancing, kept drinking. Threw the eye over once and a while
to see if she saw me/make eye contact etc. When I did look over a few
times, she was fending off "suitors". So I didn't approach her, she then
saw me, made eye contact (ie she let me know she saw me). Anyway, I
didn't approach her, just kept drinking and dancing. Drinkin and dancin
till the music really started hitting home (the drink too!!). Then
suddenly, she was there in front of me, she had come over to me and was
dancing away... I couldn't believe it!! "I have a chance here" I thought.
Then the music stops... and I for some unknown reason disappear off the
floor, gone. I have tried to figure out why I bailed but considering the
fact that I was quite the drunk monkey by this stage, I could probably
forsee a conversation along the lines of a drunken mumble of "You're
beautiful (hiccup) ... do ya know that?? (hiccup)" Met up with my
friends, left the club, I then went straight home to bed due to the fact
that I was in work the next morning.

In work the next morning, she walks by my shop, she's not going to work
this time(walking a different was, wearing casual clothes) she looks
right in at me. My heart jumps. Man, she is so beautiful.
Over the next few weeks she passes by the shop a few times as I wait for
my shop to open, she looks over, I look over... stalemate. (As you may
have guessed, I am not one for chatting up women, especially on the
street) I know its easy to say "Grow a pair!" or "Get over yourself and
do it" but I tend to turn into a mumbing ball of flesh even when I think
of her. So I didn't approach her. Not long afterwards she disappears.
Gone. "Bugger" I thought, well thats that then, over. Bollocks.
Over the next year or so, she passes by my shop maybe 4 or 5 times (that
I saw her), man she is so beautiful. Is she teasing me?? Either way,
there's nothing I can do.

Time passes on and passes by, at the start of this summer I change my
hours to part time due to college and then went on study leave to prepare
for exams. Having not worked for 6 weeks I go back to full time hours for
the summer. Wednesday morning waiting for the boss on my first day back,
SHE walks by going a different direction. "Is that....?" "Na, couldn't
be" I thought. Thursday comes, she walks by again.... "That f**king is
her". Friday, I'm ready with my "Good morning" "How are you today?"
Opener, she strolls toward me, accross the road, I cant help myself
grinning, I cant cover up the smile and she sees me smiling, she starts
grinning and crosses the road toward me, "Sh*t, she's comming this way" I
attempt to say "hello" but all the words get caught in my throat, I
choke. Bollocks.
Why is it when you need to be yourself the most, yourself doesn't want to
be you?

Anyway, a week or so later (I wouldn't see her every morning) I manage to
utter the words "Hi, how are you doing?" to which she replied "Good" as
she strolled by (without breaking step). Was I shot down? I thought... ah
sure I'll give it another bash, so as she walked home from work a week or
so later I approached her... "Howya? Have you got a minute?" I asked to
which she replied simply "No". No, she doesn't have a minute. Bollocks.
I took this as being shot down but still I cant get her out of my head.
A couple of weeks later I changed jobs and no longer work near her.
Months pass and then yesterday I pay a visit into my old job, I have a
couple of things to do in the city centre and I just so happen to pass
her work, just so happen to peep in the door and there she is, staring
out. It was the first time I walked by and looked in (until yesterday, I
wasn't sure where she worked for certian.) I think I might have freaked
her out, which was never my intention.
I want to bring this to a conclusion, either way. I think of her alot,
what ifs, what could be?? etc etc.

The dilemma/question: What should I do?

Here's what I have been thinking, feel free to critisize them (I am fully
aware that my ideas have got me nowhere so far)

- Since she is a hairdresser, just make an appoinmtent and turn the charm
on.

- Send flowers with a note.

- Forget about it and move on (tbh, i think if i did that I would never

forgive myself)

Any thoughts help or advice are much appreciated

RoosterIllusion

I don't mean to be off topic but you have to edit your post and put in paragraphs etc. It's pretty hard to read it so I just didn't bother.

jessbeth

I'm going to be brutally honest and say that she probably did shoot you down for the simple reason that she probably thinks you're messing with her head. I mean it takes courage to go over and dance with someone and then she probably spent ages wondering why you just disappeared. I'm guessing that she probably thinks you were only taking the piss and not really interested. I would let the girl be because if you start coming on with flowers etc now that would just creep her out. It would certainly creep me out in the same situation anyway.

tbh

rogha wrote: »

"Howya? Have you got a minute?" I asked to
which she replied simply "No".

Sorry man, that's the only part of the post that matters. WHile there is a chance that she may initially have been open to getting to know you better, she just had no clue of how you felt and moved on. Either way, it's pretty plain she's not interested now. Don't let this put you off talking to girls you like in the future. You haven't done anything you should feel embarrassed or ashamed of, just this time it didn't work out. But IMO you should forget about that girl now and move on.

Puddleduck

Firstly stop putting her on a pedestal and thinking shes well out of youre league, she is, in the end, just a person. So you have two choices, chalk it up as experience and learn not to leave it so long next time to approach, or bite the bullet and ask her out. Tbh with you Im not sure her saying 'no' when you asked to speak to her was a good sign. How and ever, you wont know until you ask.

If I was in your situation, I wouldnt bring flowers or whatever, just pop in and say something like 'Listen just popping in for a sec as Im flying today to ask if youd be interested in a coffee/whatever sometime' If she says no, then fair enough, you have your answer, just leave say 'grand, see you around'.

omb0wyn5ehpij9

tbh wrote: »

Sorry man, that's the only part of the post that matters. WHile there is a chance that she may initially have been open to getting to know you better, she just had no clue of how you felt and moved on. Either way, it's pretty plain she's not interested now. Don't let this put you off talking to girls you like in the future. You haven't done anything you should feel embarrassed or ashamed of, just this time it didn't work out. But IMO you should forget about that girl now and move on.

Agreed, was the same as what i was about to type

maxwell smart

Ha! I'm sure lots of guys have been in your shoes. I once had a similar situation in that I was smitten by a girl, she worked in an ice cream parlour when I was living in New Jersey. Maeve was her name and she was stunning. I spent the entire summer buying ice cream and saying "Hi!" and such crap. Anyway end of the summer comes and we all head back to college. We have a little reunion before Christmas and there she is...with her new boyfriend. What does she say to me? "I really fancied you all summer, I thought you were going to try it on with me, pity you didn't"!
Moral of the story is, regardless of her blowing you out or not, at least try. Send her flowers and a note saying your the guy who used to work in that shop, put your number on it. If you don't hear anything in a couple of days, she ain't interested. Block her out of your mind and move on. Life's too short to worry if she will think you are a wierdo or not. You don't know her so if thinks you are a wierdo, so what!

Colonel_McCoy

You probably had your chance on the dance floor..........but what i wud do is walk right up to her and ask her straight out to meet for a drink, if she says no at least u know.

Beetlebum

Well, before I suggest what you could do, I'll tell you waht you shouldn't do in my opinion and that's send her flowers.

A while ago I was working in a building with a young security guard on the door. I had never spoken to him bar the occasional 'Hi' as I passed by. One day flowers and a card arrive into my office and they're from him. I was really freaked out about it. He didn't even know my name and clearly only liked me based on looks/wanting to sh*g me!

You don't know this girl, she may have a boyfriend even. I think if see liked you she would have spared you a minute. I know if I guy I fancied asked me if I had a minute I'd definitely stop even if I was on my way to a job interview or something.

By all means go into the salon and ask her out if you think it'll haunt you otherwise but it doesn't look likely that she'll say yes from what you've written. Hope springs eternal as they say. Maybe when she smiled back at you she was just being friendly.

Good luck though, hope she says yes. One more thing, try not to be so intimidated by her good looks. She is just a human being at the end of the day.

Mr. Incognito

Hmmmm,

You have to strike while the iron is hot with these things generally, hard to see how you can do it without coming over as a bit of a stalker. The have you time, no I don't conversation is a move on piece of information for me. Sorry man. Grow a pair.

vandermeyde

rogha wrote: »

"Howya? Have you got a minute?" I asked to
which she replied simply "No".

Regardless of eye contact and one or two hello's over a prolonged period, that sounds like the opening line of a chugger or someone looking for some spare change.

The dance floor opportunity was your best bet and you blew it. Time to move on me thinks.

6th

You missed your chance. Learn from it.

JulesInKy

She might be as shy/insecure as you! You've got nothing to lose by at least approaching her and talking to her. My only advice about what to say to her is this - just be friendly and not all "gushy". Don't go on about how beautiful and out of your reach you think she is, it'll only put her off. Just be sincere and honest. If it's meant to be then it will work out.

TheZohanS

You completely missed your chance.

She probably has a b/f now.

Don't go making appointments for haircuts, thats boardering on stalking.

Let her go!

Next time don't be such a wuss and if you fancy a girl just go for it.

Jimmy Bottlehead

You sound like a nice guy... therefore take a nice guy approach... I'd just pop into her in work, and just explain to her that you like her, but that you got nervous before... and that you'd love to grab a coffee with her. If she says no, her loss.