Middle East Crisis Finally Over

RandolphEsq

Of course it isn't!

Yet it is incredible how society is conditioned to be lead by the media as opposed to be following their own interests. Well, not their 'own' interests, people do not know what their own interests are!

Perhaps I will start my own publication and convert the the masses into my own putty thus allowing me to shape humanity into what I would class as 'ideal' beings, subtly of course. Utopia! Utopia! Utopia!

Who wants to join me?

The guy

It depends on how much you're willing to believe Fox.

RandolphEsq

Extreme example of media leading and one which doesn't apply to Irish people. It is more subtle here

marco_polo

Start a religion mate much more profitable.

RandolphEsq

Too difficult to get 'followers'.

Not necessarily more 'profitable'

marco_polo

BrightEyes wrote: »

Too difficult to get 'followers'.

Not necessarily more 'profitable'

Ah I see now, re-reading your OP you seem to be more inclined towards the Dr Evil world domination end of the spectrum. This indeed would be more profitable.

Don't mind me carry on.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

"'Ignore all the evidence of your eyes and your ears, and believe only what we tell you': it was the Party's final, most important command."
- Orwell, 1984.

Peyton Manning

Middle East Crisis over me bollix. Sure I was in Dublin on Monday, price of a pint is still f*cking scandalous.

ScumLord

The middle east "crisis" is over it's officially a disturbance now.

Karoma

You'll rally more troops in here than AH. Moved.

steve927

MIDDLE EAST PEACE

Obama - "Ok people what exactly is the problem here...Ladies
first, either because it is polite or because they are
weaker than men, whichever you prefer."


Israel PM Tzipi Livni - "Palestenians hate us and we hate them."


Obama - "I see, and you sir?"



Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas - "We hate the Jews and
they hate us"


Obama - "So you are saying that the major disagreement
between your people today is actually something about which
you actually agree?



Both leaders together - "Ahhhh"


Obama - "Your people hate all Jews and your people hate all
Palestenians. So do your people hate me?"


Both leaders together - "Of course not!"



Obama - "Great, now check this out. Mr. Abbas My name is Barrack
Hussein Obama and I have been accused of being a Muslim, so I
know the pain you feel. I mean it when I say that I will put an end
to this terrible oppression of your people at the hands of the Jews."


"Ms Livni, my grandfather fought the Nazi's in WWII, I am a
Christian, I am the leader you most loyal ally, and I love Adam
Sandler movies. I am probally closer to a sterotypical Jew than
most of your citizens. Obvioulsy my only concern here is the
interest of the Jewish people."


"So clearly you can see that I am a Palistinean Jew accused of
being Muslim. Neither of you have any chance of understanding this
problem as well as me. Only a Muslim Homosexual or an Isralie
holocaust denier could possibly disagree with this truth"


\ "Are either of you a gay muslim or a Jewish Holocaust denier?"


Both leaders - NO! NO! NO!


\ Obama - "Excellent, so we are all in agreement that given my
superior perspective on this conflict that whatever solution I
propose will be the right one?"

Both Leaders are speechless and nod in unision.



\ Obama - "Great that solves that, now..

Both leaders mention religion..


Obama sighs - "I knew you would bring that up"


Sits quietly in thought for a minute


"Shazamm (this is actually the code word he gave them 30
seconds earlier when he hypnotized the leaders with his
jedi mind powers). Ok, There are these guys over not too
far to the east of here called Hindus. Compared to their
religion your two religions are identical. Shouldn't we work
together against religions that are the most different from
our own before we start to squabble with a sister religion?
Just nod."



"I need you each to gather every citizen of your country so i can explain out plan to them. How about the Jews at 2pm at
the west bank, and the Plaestenians at the Gaza strip at 2:02.
I will handle the rest. Oh and make sure that there are no
sunglasses or anything else covering their eyes, I need to see
their eyes."




Fox News Alert: President Obama First Summit a Total Success!

Just one day after blessing our studios with a personal visit President Obama (or as we now call him, Jesus to the Max) Stopped by for a quick visit in the middle east to use his powers to fix a minor disupte.

Today at 2:05 Israel time a JOINT religious service was held between Jews and Palestenians. The ceremony was held in a newly constructed Moskagague and combined Jewish and Muslim tradition in perfect harmony which is only matched by the racial harmony of President Obama's heritage. A massive orgy followed the ceremony that went on into the night.

Fox News - Fair and Obama