can't get over i

LegacyUser

my girlfriend broke it off with me and about 12 weeks later we got back together. i found out she had been with another guy, much older while we were apart. she said she started to have sex with him but decided to stop. Not sure i believe that bit. But anyway i am still upset that this happened while we were apart. i have to say that i did not want to break up. this is getting me down and i am very hurt over this. can anyone offer advice please

Nevyn

You were broken up, if you can't get passed what happened when you were broken up then you may have to knock on the head trying agian to be in a relationship.

LegacyUser

but why did she dump me , someone who loved her for a casual fling?

TripleAce

*snip*

IMO

Wibbs

How long were you with her? Was there any sign of this coming(there nearly always is, just people, especially men, don't see it)?

The usual reasons are trotted out, but unless there's abuse, it boils down in most cases to simple boredom. No or reduced excitement in the relationship. As I say the official reasons are "I don't know where this is going/I don't fancy you anymore/you're more a friend/etc". Someone else comes into view and if they excite the emotions more then there's a risk of dumpage.

Basically no one unless a loopjob, leaves a relationship that's good and healthy. So look to the relationship itself and see why you think she might have wanted to walk(and why she chose to come back).

As for what happened when you were apart. Yes the mature thing is to suck it up, but far easier to type than to do it. Unless you have a very balanced ego(and few do, though many claim it), having a partner you loved sleep with someone else even if you were "on a break" will affect you.

OK my advise would be, yes it'll melt your head and you have to accept that, but you also have to accept that if you don't suck this up, then you will lose her. Blank it from your mind and pretend it didn't happen, until it dissipates of it's own accord. Now some will say that's kidding yourself, but we kid ourselves everyday. So long as you do it to a mentally and emotionally healthy end then play on.




Obviously if you're together 20 years excitement has a different meaning than if you're only going out 2 weeks.

Wibbs

TripleAce ok we all get the friends reference but it's not adding to the thread.

LegacyUser

why do women do such stupid things. they find a guy that loves them, damage him . go for assholes and then when the asshole plays true to form they say they cant meet a decent bloke