Problems at work and home

darling.x

This is going to be long but please bear with me.

I need advice, and please do not scold me for living at home at 26, i'm making plans this week to move.

I work as a childmineer for a neighbour about 10 ming away from my home. I usually work 10 to 11 hours a day, sometimes more sometimes less.

I give one to one care to a child with special needs. I love the child and my job (well some of it).

The problem is my mam is a housekeeper for the same family, working about 2 to 3 hrs, 3 times a wk.

When she first started she did 1 day a wk for 6 hrs or so. But then decided that it was to much and divided it up into more manageable hours. The problem is she hasn't divided up the work, so she tries to do all that 1 day a work every time, and its too much for her, and shes gives terrible abuse over it at work and at home.


Anyways i try to help her to some of her work when the child is napping, but theres only so much i can do. And my mam is never happy. Shes giving me terrible hassle.

Theres a little bit more but thats pretty most of it.
My mams wants me to neglect the child to clean. I've tried standing up for myself but i'm a cnut and every other thing for doing my job.

darling.x

This is something i'm extremely stressed about so any help and advice would be great.

Should i mention something to my boss and what could i say.

I dont want to continue there because of the **** i get from my mam. But why should i give up the job i like, giving up helping the family because my mam doesnt like hers

Carrigart Exile

darling.x wrote: »

This is something i'm extremely stressed about so any help and advice would be great.

Should i mention something to my boss and what could i say.

I dont want to continue there because of the **** i get from my mam. But why should i give up the job i like, giving up helping the family because my mam doesnt like hers

arrange to take the child out on the days your mum is due to be there.

SoupyNorman

I think moving out should help the situation, if it was not for you mentioning it It would of been my first point!


Just wondering if you have qualifications for the special needs assistant role or did you just land into it? By the way this is not a criticism, just want to get a picture of where you are at because if you dont and you have a passion for the work it might be an idea to get qualified (if you are not!)

Redpunto

Your mam is being a twit, explain to her that youre there for the child not the cleaning, you may have to get serious with her and tell her if she doesnt cop on you're gonna have to tell your "boss". Im sure the family youre working for wont be too happy at the thought of the child not being looked after becuase your mam cant organise her time properly.

You know what'll happen if its between you and her, shes the one who'll get the boot. But be careful, they mightnt take your side and just kick the two of you to the kerb. You need to be professional about this and distance yourself from the fact shes your ma.

darling.x

Thanks for the replies. I take the child out for walks an odd time, but lately shes been sick so i cant. It also rains a lot and I cant take her in my car either.

neuro-praxis

You need to set boundaries with your mother. Point blank refuse to have anything to do with her when she arrives to clean. This will no doubt make her very angry, but it is good timing because you are about to move out. You also need to verbally express that her calling you names is utterly unacceptable and if it continues it will be the end of your relationship. She sounds like an abusive woman.

Your mother will eventually realise you won't budge on these issues and will give up. Then it will be up to you to have enough grace to continue a relationship with her. She sounds like a very destructive person and you should be on your guard with her.

darling.x

I've talked to mam so many times and i'm not prepared to put up with the amount of shìt she throws at me any longer.

On the days my mam is not talking or yelling at me she goes around in such a mood. The child senses it too. My mam really not happy here.

What am i going to say to the lady i'm working for.

Beruthiel

You're mother was hired and gets paid to do the cleaning, you were hired to take care of the child. She needs to understand that.

Move out of your mothers house and tell her that if she doesn't leave off then you will have to go to your boss over it.
Knowing how impossible it is to find someone you trust to take care of your child, it's your mother who will get the boot.

neuro-praxis

Be straight with her...but don't take it for granted that she will be on your side! Also what is it you want from your boss? If you want to get your mother fired you can expect your mother to be extremely angry, long-term.

If you decide to lodge a complaint about your mother, try to phrase it in a professional manner as in, "I know that my mother being the cleaner here makes things complicated, but if she were anyone else I would be straight with you about this. When my mother visits this house to clean she creates a distressing atmosphere with name-calling etc."

I have no idea. If I were you I would find another job and move out as soon as possible. Your mother sounds nuts.

Beruthiel

darling.x wrote: »

What am i going to say to the lady i'm working for.

Tell her you love your job, you love the child and enjoy taking care of her. But your mother doesn't seem to know her boundries and is making your life miserable while she is in the house with you as she cannot seem to manage the work.
Leave it there and let the woman come to her own decision on what should be done.