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Pushed away, still hurt.

  • 03-11-2008 3:40pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Regular poster going unreg,

    Going out with the boyfriend for over four years, we recently broke up for a few months but even through this time txting back and forth etc.Basically our first 3 years were great he's never been perfect but never had any major problems, until his best friend broke up with his girlfriend.All of a sudden he started going out with him every weekend making some excuse that he couldn't see me.The worst part was he'd always say he was just going out with the lads but always end up with this certain group of girls they've been friends with before he knew me (saying that they were nowhere to be seen the first 3 years I was with him)

    This went on for months and every weekend was just upsetting, he was just pushing me away more and more, lying about stupid things like whereabouts and company he was with. I'm not a major fan of these girls but I've gotten on fine with them whenever we've crossed paths. It was like there was this side of his life he didn't want me involved in. I know he's not into any of them and the other way around but it just killed me to know other girls were spending time with him when I couldn't.

    It all came to ahead a few months ago and we mutually broke things off, 3 months later he begged me back saying he'd change.Things have been going ok until the other night when we were drunk and had a huge fight because I brought everything up.Its all still boiling inside me and don't know if I can ever forgive him for kind of abandoning me for so long.

    Am I over-reacting? Is there any point in trying to make this work with him if I still have these feelings that I really don't think are going to go, especially beacause it makes me angry just hearing him mention any of the girls even though its not their fault he was always with them instead of me!Can you ever get on with things if you can't forgive and forget.


Comments

  • #2
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,253 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    Unregistered wrote: »
    Can you ever get on with things if you can't forgive and forget.
    Honestly? Yes. You can, but only if you choose to and it is a choice.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



  • #3
    MagicMarker
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 32,865 ✭✭✭✭MagicMarker


    To be honest it sounds like you let your own insecurities get the better of you.

    You say you didn't like how he was with these girls but also mention that you know he wasn't into them or them him.

    The only issue here was him lying and not spending time with you, but to me it doesn't sound like that is the reason you broke up, you just didn't like these girls.

    If he were only hanging out with ''da lads'' would you have still broken up?


  • #4
    solace
    Closed Accounts Posts: 162 ✭✭solace


    I can relate somewhat. One of my ex-girlfriends was a real boy's girl. A tomboy, all her best friends were lads. At first it didn't bother me but her best friend also happened to be an ex, from years previous. I'm friends with this guy, he's a really good guy and although I always told myself that any insecurities were ill-founded, I did get jealous. It's not like she would lie, but I'd get silently upset when they were hanging out, just because they were so close. It's an awkward one. Same thing happens now and then, but I think if you fully evaluate how much you care for this guy, you'll make the right decision. Is your jealousy/insecurity worth losing him over?


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