Help!!!!

tooler7

Hey guys
Me and my gf hav been together for 2 and half years and before that we were best friends for 2 years in school.After we got together we found out that all of our friends had bets on when we would get together.So things were going brilliant could not have been better for 2 years everybody used to laugh at the amount of time we talked to each other we always talked when we had time but then at the start of the summer she went to america for 3 months.
Things were fine we still talked all the time and i went over for 3 weeks to visit aswell which was brilliant when i came back she was coming back 2 weeks after but since she has been home things have been different we still love each other to bits but we fight alot more which we never used to do.
We jst said it was a rough patch and we will get through it cause the last 2 years have been perfect but then last night she jst said that she doesnt want a boyfriend anymore and wants some space lik its really a killler blow cause it actually looked like things we picking up between and its not only lik losing a gf its also like losing a best friend cause she was.She told me to give her space and i asked her if she still loved me and she said she does love me to bits and still finds me very very attractive but i dunno what to do do i ring her or txt her or what???She told me to give her space but sheis the type of person that if i do give her space then she will think that i dont care which couldnt be further frm the truth so i dont have a clue on what to do i really wanna ring her but dont know if i should.
Any advice appreciated
Thanks

Lollipops23

do as she says, GIVE HER SPACE!it's a sad and heartbreaking fact of life that sometimes relationships don't work out. People grow up and apart,especially as you got together so young. Maybe she'll decide that she wants to give it another go,maybe she won't. In the meantime why don't you try to figure out exactly what it is that you want?

gamblitis

Just give her a few days and maybe drop her a text and see how she is doing. It shows you care while also giving her time to breathe. She may still love you to bits and find you very attractive but after two years it gets tough and people want to experience new things. Being in america would def do that to someone. Just getting a taste of whats out there and not being able to have it is quite frustrating.

You have been friends for so long so if things don't work out in a bf/gf relationship you should both be mautre enough about this and be able to put it behinds you and laugh at it in years to come. Hope everything works out.

Wibbs

tooler7 wrote: »

She told me to give her space but sheis the type of person that if i do give her space then she will think that i dont care which couldnt be further frm the truth

OK IMHO this is one of the biggest mistakes people make in this situation. She will not think you don't care. I'd put money on it. Let her ring or text you. Don't run after her, stop telling her you love her, she knows that. Start to move on now, as quick as possible. That will give you the best chance of getting her back and if it doesn't then you'll be ahead of the game in moving on.

Beau x1

Well, here's what I make of the situation:

I thought how she may just be looking for attention from you or testing you in regards to your feelings for her, but she probably already knows you love her to bits after you going over to America etc. So I rule this one out.

I don't think there's somebody else at all. It's easy to get lost in thought when you two are currently oceans away, but from what you've said she seems pretty genuine. What I make of it is, in the 3 months she's been away the distance has hurt her. Being in a long distance relationship myself, I can tell you that originally yeah, it does hurt; and that's essentially what you guys have been through in the last 3 months. From what I see, when you left inevitably you did hurt her. She doesn't have you anymore and she must feel pain because of that. She's probably lost in emotions right now and needs to sort herself out, and have a little bit of time to herself to think about things. However, I will tell you that girls easily get mixed up in how they perceive a man's actions. If you smother her with contact, she'll tell you again she needs her space. If you don't, she'll think you don't care about her anymore. SO. What I reckon is, call her when you think the time is right and just tell her that you wanted to check up on her in case she's not feeling the best and remind her that you're there for her and that you're thinking of her. Don't immediately question the relationship, but just show you care. That's all you can do really, and wait.

Also, lay off the texts. They're good for keeping updated but it's hard to extract any emotional value out of them. Calls are far more effective.

Hope this helps, and good luck.

Curvy Vixen

Please don't contact her. If she has asked you for space then give her space. She obviously has a lot going on in her head and needs to get some semblance of sanity around what's going on in there. You won't help by texting or calling her, trust me.

If she is debating on finishing with you then you won't be able to change that. And even if you do talk her into staying together, do you really want a long drawn out goodbye which is what it may come to?

If she wants to be with you she will come back on her own.

I would think that she is readjusting to being back from the US and having her freedom and a different way of life there. It's really hard to do this even if there was no partner involved.

Let her come to you....

PeakOutput

agreed with all of the above the only thing you can do is let her miss you and that will be a big part of her decision about weather or not she is going to get back with you or not

LegacyUser

In my experience "I some space" is her way of saying you are dumped....for some reason girls think this is a nice way of dumping a guy.....sucks I know!

Kirnsy

Unregistered wrote: »

In my experience "I some space" is her way of saying you are dumped....for some reason girls think this is a nice way of dumping a guy.....sucks I know!

i wouldnt agree with that...two years is a lot for anyone in a relationship and every one needs a breather now and again

take wibbs advice and ACT like you are absolutely FINE about the whole thing.


this could be a good thing for both of you to chill and consider where you go from here!

Tim06

agree with Wibbs, she knows what you think of her.. do as she says and give her a bit of space.. could be exactly what she needs to realise what she has, and what she could lose

star-pants

Wibbs wrote: »

OK IMHO this is one of the biggest mistakes people make in this situation. She will not think you don't care. I'd put money on it. Let her ring or text you. Don't run after her, stop telling her you love her, she knows that. Start to move on now, as quick as possible. That will give you the best chance of getting her back and if it doesn't then you'll be ahead of the game in moving on.

Agree completely here - give her the space, if you don't all you'll do is be confirming any doubts in her head. Let her breathe and you have your space too, use this time to sort things in your head too.

seandugg

My point of view is "give me some space" is her way of giving you the old heave-ho but trying to let you down gently. Are you sure there is nobody else in her life?