Confused

unhappycamper

I am worried.

I am 27 and have always enjoyed my friends company and having relationships with girls. I am starting a new business and construction begins in January. I am saving up 15K by myself and I have already invested 30K in my business equipment. I have met a business partner who is much older than me and way more experienced in the field, which is great because we are both splitting the rent, so my 'risk' factor will be halved. I am starting the business with no debt basically. I have just received a grant, and from the outside looking in, I suppose I am doing very well.

I just got dumped about two months ago but I am doing okay emotionally.
I have plenty of friends and lots of support in every respect.

I seem to be the only one of my friends who is starting their own business. I am sitting in tonight out of choice in order to calm down on the socializing and save up as much as I can. I feel like I should be excited but I feel a little bit depressed.

I like talking to friends over the phone but I am fed up with the 'group' atmosphere. I am enjoying working more than socializing. I prefer being busy in work more than being busy with my friends. I kinda feel that they are either filthy rich and have no idea where I am coming from or really poor on the dole with a very very low self esteem.

I want to be 21 again and going out into town and having loads of fun meeting new people but all I really care about now is making 'me' a success. I have to fly the nest also which certainly does get me down. If my business fails I have no college qualification to fall back on so basically I am under loads of pressure to make things work.

So to sum it all up:

1. I feel like I am sick of being social
2. I feel like I am an old broken man at 27!
3. All I think about is my business

On the outside I am wide eyed and smiley
On the inside I am fed up with life's ups and downs.
I want my relationship back

I want to let go and laugh more, I have a great laugh people say but sadly I don't use it enough..


Rant over..

metrovelvet

I really really wish I had your problems.

unhappycamper

metrovelvet wrote: »

I really really wish I had your problems.

Why what's up with you?

metrovelvet

unhappycamper wrote: »

Why what's up with you?

ha ha.. Baby we could talk all night...

Seems to me like you are anxious and feeling a little isolated in your new responsibilities. It's growing pains.

Your in a transitionary phase so it's hard to find people to relate to and your place in where you fit in. Is there a social group for young entrepreneurs you could join? Maybe start one if there isn't?

unhappycamper

metrovelvet wrote: »

ha ha.. Baby we could talk all night...

Seems to me like you are anxious and feeling a little isolated in your new responsibilities. It's growing pains.

Your in a transitionary phase so it's hard to find people to relate to and your place in where you fit in. Is there a social group for young entrepreneurs you could join? Maybe start one if there isn't?

You are right I really don't know where I fit in with anyone at the moment. My x was a brilliant anchor for me and now that the ship has sailed I am very confused young man. Am I a man or a boy? I really have no clue
what to feel. Being an adopted child has plenty of it's own insecurities, that doesn't help me at all. Trust me honey buns you would not want to know what it is like to be adopted.

LegacyUser

Try and focus on your business now and getting to to be a success, when it IS successful and your making money you will be fine. Its all because of the anxiety and fear of failure.
Think of all the nice stuff you can buy if your business booms and you get rich. Focus on that for now and enjoy your life.

Ah Ffs-just go out and have a few drinks at the weekend.It doesn't have to break the bank.Keep in contact with your friends during the week and take time out for coffee or do lunch the odd time with them.
You'll regret not doing it when you really are old and ALONE.

Karen_*

unhappycamper wrote: »

what to feel. Being an adopted child has plenty of it's own insecurities, that doesn't help me at all. Trust me honey buns you would not want to know what it is like to be adopted.

Unhappycamper you are a very thoughtful guy and I think you think too much sometimes. The above statement is an utterly bizarre one to make. What's so terrible about being adopted and do you think that those of us who aren't adopted have been living in Little House on the Prairie or something? I don't think this is the place to be patronizing with the 'honey buns'

You've basically described your life as being great but no one knows your pain apparently. But we do. This is another thread about how you miss your ex. Thats what it boils down to. Well there's alot of us in the same boat as it happens and we're getting on with it, doing what you do and smiling through the pain and keeping going. What other choice is there? And things will get better - for all of us. If its broken its for a reason and missing people and adjusting to being without them is a part of life. Keep going the way you are, striving to make your life a success. And keep smiling although you don't feel like it. You're lonely now but you will meet someone else and things will be ok.

unhappycamper

Karen_* wrote: »

Unhappycamper you are a very thoughtful guy and I think you think too much sometimes. The above statement is an utterly bizarre one to make. What's so terrible about being adopted and do you think that those of us who aren't adopted have been living in Little House on the Prairie or something? I don't think this is the place to be patronizing with the 'honey buns'

You've basically described your life as being great but no one knows your pain apparently. But we do. This is another thread about how you miss your ex. Thats what it boils down to. Well there's alot of us in the same boat as it happens and we're getting on with it, doing what you do and smiling through the pain and keeping going. What other choice is there? And things will get better - for all of us. If its broken its for a reason and missing people and adjusting to being without them is a part of life. Keep going the way you are, striving to make your life a success. And keep smiling although you don't feel like it. You're lonely now but you will meet someone else and things will be ok.

metrovelvet
Baby we could talk all night...

unhappycamper
Trust me honey buns you would not want to know what it is like to be adopted.

I was joking!!! (We all have problems!!)

We all have issues that's all I was saying. Metrovelvet thanks +1. You hit it right on the head. I am feeling growing pains.

Karen thanks for your feedback. My issue is with the fear I have doing things by myself, without a crutch you know?

unhappycamper

Deleted User wrote: »

Ah Ffs-just go out and have a few drinks at the weekend.It doesn't have to break the bank.Keep in contact with your friends during the week and take time out for coffee or do lunch the odd time with them.
You'll regret not doing it when you really are old and ALONE.

I enjoy going for lunch as much as possible, I adore food as much as the next man. Going for drinks nearly always becomes a 'stay up all night job playing music etc..' €100 a go. 'a ffs' x 10 times = €1000 which = 2 months rent. Shazzzamm!

Do you get me?

silverhillgirl

The probems you haave are changeable so not real problems at all!!!You are feeling sorry for yourself and i dont why. Go for a drink, dont go for a drink - up to you. You're so unbelieveably lucky to be starting up a business with no debt!! Slap ur self hard in the face and cop on to yourself boy, because there are alot of people with REAL problems out there.

unhappycamper

silverhillgirl wrote: »

The probems you haave are changeable so not real problems at all!!!You are feeling sorry for yourself and i dont why. Go for a drink, dont go for a drink - up to you. You're so unbelieveably lucky to be starting up a business with no debt!! Slap ur self hard in the face and cop on to yourself boy, because there are alot of people with REAL problems out there.

I have worked hard to follow my heart. I have seen very few people do the same.

unhappycamper

unhappycamper wrote: »

I enjoy going for lunch as much as possible, I adore food as much as the next man. Going for drinks nearly always becomes a 'stay up all night job playing music etc..' €100 a go. 'a ffs' x 10 times = €1000 which = 2 months rent. Shazzzamm!

Do you get me?

I don't.
Go out get merry not wasted.
Have some self control and socialise

RoosterIllusion

unhappycamper wrote: »

...what you said...

I would say that your business has been reliable and static for you ad little else has had that kind of stability.

If I was in your position I would feel the same, and I have done about other such things in my life.

If you think your thinking too much about work then obviously you view this negatively.

I would not worry about it long term. Obsessing (about anything) is a bad thing. Putting too much reliance on something will always let you down.

LegacyUser

And so you should be concentrating a lot of energy on your new business.... that's what it takes to succeed.

In terms of not wanting to socialise and stay in well maybe you're just bored of their company at the mo.

I never liked the gang / group dynamic and prefer to meet one or two friends at a time.

When I started my business, that's all I could think of. It took up a lot of my psychological time and I used to talk about it a lot.... now that it's 5 years old, I don't talk about it so much..... I talk about one of my hobbies all the time now.

In terms of having nothing to fall back on - well, you've opened your own business and have gained a lot of experience from that. Lots of people want to set up their own businesses - you are one of the brave who have taken life by the balls and done it. Well done.

Best of luck with your venture.

unhappycamper

bleeblue wrote: »

And so you should be concentrating a lot of energy on your new business.... that's what it takes to succeed.

In terms of not wanting to socialise and stay in well maybe you're just bored of their company at the mo.

I never liked the gang / group dynamic and prefer to meet one or two friends at a time.

When I started my business, that's all I could think of. It took up a lot of my psychological time and I used to talk about it a lot.... now that it's 5 years old, I don't talk about it so much..... I talk about one of my hobbies all the time now.

In terms of having nothing to fall back on - well, you've opened your own business and have gained a lot of experience from that. Lots of people want to set up their own businesses - you are one of the brave who have taken life by the balls and done it. Well done.

Best of luck with your venture.

Nice one, it's nice to hear from someone who has been there and done that. Thanks your post was very helpful.

unhappycamper

unhappycamper wrote: »

Nice one, it's nice to hear from someone who has been there and done that. Thanks your post was very helpful.

unhappycamper, you sound like a very very nice guy, I have no good advice to offer, apart from, if you want to get absolutely p*ssed on a budget then go to lidl get a few bottles of 3.99 wine and invite some friends over, but I'm not sure that's what really constructive or mature advice so you may want to ignore it. However, I would like to say, I wish you the best of luck with your business, there is nothing wrong with wanting to succeed, and all this hard work will pay off eventually......