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I'm a paedophile

  • 31-10-2008 6:31pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Goin unreg for this.. on a masked ip.

    The internet.. starts of at 16, reading porn over dialup. stories over the years gradually get more 'out there'.. then broadband comes, no more reading. 6 years on, i'm viewing ptnn. (pre-teen non-nude). 22 years old, have a degree, a job, normal friends, a car and this.

    If i get caught, i'll kill myself.. that's just something i've always had in my head. i would rather die than face the music. what i'm looking at isn't illegal, i meant if anyone i know found out.

    apart from that, i need to stop. should i burn my laptop? does psychology have the ability to change someones sexual desires? am i doomed to be like this forever? do i get a vasectomy so i can never have kids of my own? will i end up looking at actual child porn?

    how do i stop? it's like a white hot feeling.. i've never orgasmed with a girl before, and let me clarify, i'm not some weirdo in a basement.. i've had plenty of girlfriends, wear puma's and hoodies, watch footie with the lads and have enough money to do anything i like. i've never orgasmed with any girl, too boring.. only in this thread wud i have to clarify "girl" in this case means 18+.


    since i've come to realise what i am.. i don't hate paedophiles anymore, it's a disease. why wud i choose to have a sick obsession that makes me feel like i dont have a soul? i'd rather have zero sexual feelings for anything than this.. i still am fully attracted to women but i'd throw that away if i could get rid of this other side of me. i'll never act on it like but still..


    i dunno, if this thread gets approved for posting, i assume there'll be a response.. and i'll elaborate more. what's your opinions people? do you hate me?

    i'm gonna sit here and try work out a way to make me never look at anything again.. i think it'd be like giving up fags. except, giving up kids? i need a drink.


Comments

  • #2
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    I would say that for the most part the posters who post in this forum don't' know what you are going through or could imagine.

    I would suggest that you need to speak to a professional about this and get help with this so you never do anything that you regret.

    I would suggest you talk to your dr and get a referal on to a professional who deals in sexuality related issues.

    http://www.vhi.ie/hfiles/hf-627.jsp


This discussion has been closed.
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