Open relatonship?

LegacyUser

i'm in a new relatonship with a man only for a couple of weeks. i have a problem that i dont think that its an exclusive relationshiop and we havent talked about that. i dont want to bring up the exclusive conversation cos its to early at the moment. But hes happy for me to go out on my own and kind of encourages me nearly to chat up other men thats why i think hes doing the same thing. DO you htink its wrong that he might be with other women? HE seeems a bit free with his love if you knwo what i mean?

We are in our early thirtys and i dont no wether to just carry on and see were we end up and enjoy the ride or wether to stop seeing him cos it doesnt seem very serious.
WHat do you think?

Nevyn

You need to sit down with him and sort out what the rules are for your relatonship.
Firstly are you in a relatonship with him or just still dating ?

What do you wnat from a relationship yourself at where you are in your life ?

AngryBadger

Thaedydal wrote: »

You need to sit down with him and sort out what the rules are for your relatonship.
Firstly are you in a relatonship with him or just still dating ?

What do you wnat from a relationship yourself at where you are in your life ?

+ about a million.

Although I would also point out that if he's encouraging you to chat to other guys then I'd take that as a fairly strong indicator of how he sees the relationship right now. You still need to decide what you want, and share that with him, but be aware that you may not like the answers you get.

Zulu

Talk to him. Ask him.

At the moment you're guessing - find out for sure. If you want a relationship with this man, you're going to have to be able to be open and honest.

Colonel_McCoy

I agree you need to talk to him and explain how you feel or else you could end up being a booty call

LegacyUser

well im haveing fun at the moment but dont want to be a booty call. is it not a bit to early to be looking for were the relatonship is going?

Karen_*

He could be just testing the waters with you. Putting the feelers out to see what you want from the relationship. So just tell what you want because its not ok with you to have an open relationship. And don't go along for any ride. Know what you want and don't settle for anything less in the hopes someone else will change. I personally don't think its ok to be seeing someone and it not be exclusive, however early on that is.

Nevyn

It's not to early for you to be considering what you want.
Clearly this is already happening otherwise you would not have questions and be posting on the internet about those questions.

Curvy Vixen

I'm a bit torn with this one.

If you are both adults and both know/knew what you were getting in to, no strings attached or whatever then you can't really have the 'conversation' without him feeling like you are pinning him down.

However, everyone needs to know where they stand so maybe give it another week or two and drop it into the conversation one day.

The other thing that I would consider though is, if you are both, or if just he is, 'sharing it around' would I like the thought that he's in bed one night with someone then in my bed the next night? Probably not... and that's not from the emotional angle that's from the hygiene angle :eek:

Trinity

My rules are - once you start sleeping with someone you are more than entitled to sit down and have a chat about things.

Its simply to make sure you are not one of many and to avoid any conflcit in the future. Its not too much to ask to be exclusive. Some men actually find this scary but some find it refreshing that a woman is not waiting around to see what decision the man makes regarding the potential relationship.

Too many times i assumed that because i was seeing someone regularly and having regular sex with them, that we were in a relationship or heading trowards one, only to find i was nothing more than a booty call and when i confronted them they replied i never said i wanted a relationship. So now i ask!!

At least then i have to opportunity to make a call on whether or not i am happy with a casual relationship. Honesty all the way and you cant go wrong.

But i would keep the conversation light, not too heavy, no talk of futures together blah blah just simply are we exclusive while we are seeing where this is going, getting to know each other.

Colonel_McCoy

And your old enough now to speak your mind and discuss it openenly .....................ye are not two teenagers going at it like two sewing machines.

RossFixxxed

I'm going to be a lot more blunt.

This is not a soap opera. Your post reads like Dawson's creek. You're grown up, go talk to him. This whole 'i don't want to say x cos he'll think Y so I'll say Z and hopefully we'll agree on W cos I like him but I don't know if he LIKES me ina WXY sort of way.'

Grow up and sit down and have a chat.

R

McGinty

Hi Op

It all depends on what YOU want. The thing is if you are sharing your body with this man, then you have reached the highest level of intimacy, even though it may not seem that way, in reality you have. The thing is do you want to be a **** buddy, flitting from man to man ****ing around, or do you want a one on one relationship, that is the first thing you have to establish for yourself, forget the other person, ask what do you want, once you have decided what you want, then ask the guy you are seeing what does he want, then ask is it compatible to what you want, if yes, enjoy, if not, let go. Sounds easy doesn't it, the thing is you can make this complicated or easy, it is up to you, you may not get what you hope for, but if this guy does not give you what you want, another man will, because you will then be in a position to say yes, he gives me what I look for.

Judging from your post, it reads to me that you are focused on him, when you need to focus on your wants. Good luck

pickarooney

I doubt very much he even knows he's in a relationship after a couple of weeks.

Curlypinkie

From my own experience:
1. I'm not sure yez are in any relationship yet.
2. He might like the idea of an open relationship but doesn't know how to word it.

Solution? Speak to him about it. Is it what you want or do you want him for yourself? Do you want you guys to go exclusive?
I agree that if you're having s€ he should at least tell you wether he's interested and/or having s€x with other people.

MIN2511

It's not that easy to talk about relationships tbh.. I am in similar waters... Mine is nearly 5months and i dunno where we stand....

I am not asking because i am happy and dunno if i want commitment yet. So we'll see how things go...

OP, time would tell but for now just enjoy yourself...

My motto: Give as much as you want to receive