How long to fall in love?

XSarahX

hi guys...
was just looking for an outside opinion.
im with my boyfriend for about 20 months, pretty serious and 100% in love)
he recently told me that he knew he was in love with me after about 4 months. the thing is i only felt that way about 6 months later. i mean i loved him but only then truly felt i was 100% after falling in love with him.

im not the type of person who is hugely emotional, tbh i didnt really believe in love till it happened to me(and i know that is really clichéd!-sorry!) and it appears that my boyfriend seems to fall in love quicker.

im just wondering if other people have had the same experience?
and does one person in the relationship have a stronger love than the other(not diminishing the other persons love)?

thanks

Wibbs

Don't take this bad:D but in the pantheon of problems it's not a biggy on face value... You're in love, he's in love etc. Now I would bet that a few are poised at their keyboard ready to pounce with a large dose of WTF? Then again one persons good fortune can be anothers worry.

So OK it's troubling you the difference in time, but of course there will be a difference in any relationship. In your shoes I would be more interested in why it worries you. Do you feel that he loves you more and a part of you worries that you may get bored of that? Or the challenge for want of a better word is gone? I dunno, just shootin the breeze here.

Nevyn

Why are you concerned ?
Worried you will fall out of love or that it will take the same ammount of time for you to come to a consenus on other topics/issues ?

MagicMarker

How long is a piece of string?

XSarahX

i guess i should refuse the question....would you be insulted if the person you were with took longer to fall in love than you did.

the whole thing arrised when i was reading a newspaper article and it said ultimatly no matter how much a couple loves one another then someone has to love the other more. im just wondering how people feel about that?

i couldnt be more sure and happy in my relationship! i guess reading over the inital thread i seemed uneasy in my relationship and should have mentioned the newspaper article that started the whole thought process in my mind!

sorry about the confusion!:o

MagicMarker

Well, my last relationship ended because she was 'in love' and i hadn't said the magic words, she couldn't handle it, that was only after 9 months or so.

I'm sure it happens a lot more than people may realise.

Nevyn

XSarahX wrote: »

i guess i should refuse the question....would you be insulted if the person you were with took longer to fall in love than you did.

No.

Different people have different history when it comes to personal relationships and what they want/need/expect in them and how quickly they 'give in' to being in a relationship and all the feelings that go with it.

It's not just about the other person and who they feel about them it is how they feel about themselves being in that type of a relationship and the baggage from past relationships and their previous experiences getting that close and intimate with another person, esp fi they have had negative experiences or if they had great ones and worry how it will compare or if they have not been to that stage before.

As long as you both get to that stage or what ever stage your both need to be with the relationship to keep it growing and moving forward as it needs to happen then great, if there is huge disparity which causes friction then you have an issue.

Wibbs

XSarahX wrote: »

i guess i should refuse the question....would you be insulted if the person you were with took longer to fall in love than you did.

Honestly no. Maybe when I was younger I may have worried myself over little things, but not for a long time. Why? because it does you no good at all.

the whole thing arrised when i was reading a newspaper article and it said ultimatly no matter how much a couple loves one another then someone has to love the other more. im just wondering how people feel about that?

How do you even measure that? There is no such thing as 100% in love. It sounds like one of those silly news articles written by the junior reporter, fresh out of college and convinced they know what's what.

Look in any relationship, how you feel about the other person varies. It varies between you, it varies over months days , years and seconds. You're still in the "in love" phase and guess what that will change. If you're lucky and you think more about how you define love in your head and heart, then it may change and grow into something more. If not. It won't.

You have to also let go of these ideas about love and what it means or you will lose it, simply by holding on too tight to a dream.

i couldnt be more sure and happy in my relationship!

Then why the original question? Is this your first real love by any chance?

Koushki

I don't really see what the problem is here. If you're in love now then everything should be great, shouldn't it? I knew i loved my boyfriend (now of 14 months) after about three- four months. does it really matter as long as the other party feels the same - eventually.

She Devil

+ 1

My OH said it first, about a month before i did, but thats because i didn't want to let my guard down. It doesnt matter, ye are both in love, i dont see where the problem is. You could have the opposite of this problem, read a few more posts in here. You are lucky hunni ...

Karen_*

Wibbs wrote: »

Don't take this bad:D but in the pantheon of problems it's not a biggy on face value... You're in love, he's in love etc. Now I would bet that a few are poised at their keyboard ready to pounce with a large dose of WTF? Then again one persons good fortune can be anothers worry.

You would bet correctly:D WTF?? OP I think you need to go ask the wizard of Oz!! And thanks for sharing your joy with us but no one can tell you exactly how long it to fall in love. Some will say it can happen immediately and others will say that's impossible. And each and every person is different and will have a different experience:) And by the way I'm delighted for you, long may it continue:D