When to tell

LegacyUser

Going unreg here,
As a seperated bloke with a young child (who lives with mother) I am just getting over things ie seperation, and was out at the weekend "on the town" . Anyway met nice girl but was almost straight away worried about should I tell her I am seperated with kid or not. I ended up kissing her and decided then not to mentioned it. Got her number and now I dont know when I should tell her - should I text her or something or tell her when / if I meet her. I mean I dont want to make a bigger issue than it is but at the same time the girl obviously should know.

I suppose I am asking, girls, should I tell a girl when I am chatting her up, after I snog her, before I meet her or what?
Any views greatly appreciated

Slightly confused bloke!

SarahSassy

If you end up meeting her again I would tell her then face to face. You will have some indication then if she has a problem with it.

Overheal

When it feels right?

SarahSassy

Overheal wrote: »

When it feels right?

That doesnt really help anyone... Why bother posting in all fairness....

Shelli

well ya can't have done much talking on the night if she doesn't already know? Why do you think it's such a big deal, and did you purposely hide in the firat place?

LegacyUser

Eh no I did not purposely hide it. I was just unsure what to do thats why I posted the query. I think we had a good chat although if the topic did not come up maybe we didn't.

Shelli

yeah, I would have thought something so significant would come have come up in a "good chat"

I wouldn't make a big deal out of it, it will naturally come up in conversation when the time comes.

Redpunto

id say the first "proper" date, any longer and she would feel like you were keeping it from her.

metrovelvet

I dont think you should make an opera out of it when you do tell her, but you should mention it sooner than later.

Wibbs

SarahSassy wrote: »

That doesnt really help anyone... Why bother posting in all fairness....

SarahSassy, helpful like beauty is in the eye of the beholder. In fairness I'm no great example of beholder, but..... read the charter on off topic posting, back seat modding etc. You know the score SS. Thanks.

Beruthiel

Unregistered wrote: »

before I meet her or what?
Any views greatly appreciated

Towards the end of your first date. At least that's when I used to do it, for the following reasons:

They have had most of the evening to decide if they would like to know you better.
They have been told in time for both of you not to get any more involved if they are not willing to take that on.

dudara

You need to get it said early in the relationship. Like Beruthiel said, at the end of the first serious date seems like a good time.

Curvy Vixen

If the conversation comes up on your first date (which I'm sure it will) then you need to tell her then. The longer you leave it the harder it will get and the more of a 'big deal' it will be.

I've been seperated 8 months now and still find it really hard to say (God knows why!) But what other answer is there? If you say you're single it's true but kind of misleading. If you go down the whole 'I'm married but blah blah' that makes it a big deal.

If you want to get it out of the way say something lighthearted to her like 'so how come a lovely girl like you is single' (or maybe something not so cheesy ) and then go on to say 'oh yeah I'm seperated with a lovely x year old child'. Don't say any more than that unless she asks and if she asks tell her the truth.

Most of all have fun, get to know each other and enjoy your date!