Another question!.

arybvtcw0eolkf

Right, now that I know I can ask questions here without getting the usual boards smart arse answer's I've another one that I'm curious about.

Informing families of a death.

Are the GS trained in techniques for this or does it with practice, experience in the job?. Are more senior members preferred, or does the job go to whom ever is available?.

the locust

Mairt wrote: »

Are the GS trained in techniques for this or does it with practice, experience in the job?. Are more senior members preferred, or does the job go to whom ever is available?.

Yes and yes... Gardai recieve classes in - 'breaking bad news' or whatever... Not easy by any means... But usually whoever is out and about and gets the call will have to inform loved ones of a loss

santosubito

I suppose it pales into insignificance compared to what gardai do, but I had a sticky situation last year.
An eastern European man had been stabbed to death in Swords and he lived in Rush, or Lusk. I was sent up to talk to his housemates/family/friends; just the usual stuff. The house was one of three or four together, with one common driveway. When I called to the house there was no answer and I was just walking away when a woman came in through the entrance to the communal driveway. Because there was one entrance, I thought she might have been a neighbour, so I asked her if she knew Mr XXXXXX. She said she did and then said: “I am his best friend. I have just come back from Poland because I have been told there was a problem with him.” At that I knew I was in trouble and then she said: “I have been told he was stabbed. Is he dead?”
What could I do? I only had an instant to decide to lie, say I hadn’t a clue, or tell the truth. I decided to tell the truth and told her he was dead. The photographer I was with though I should have lied, though.
So my respect for people whonhave to break bad news regulalrly knows no bounds.

deadwood

santosubito wrote: »

The photographer I was with though I should have lied, though.
So my respect for people whonhave to break bad news regulalrly knows no bounds.

Akward one, but you did the best thing in my opinion.

Mind if I ask, in what capacity you were there with a photographer?

donvito99

Thats an awful situation to be in Santosubito. What line of work are you in, in General? Counseling?

metman

He's a journalist.....:eek:

santosubito

You would think my signature would be a clue...

TheNog

I have done one but the wife knew it in herself before I told her. It is a very tough job. The training I got in Templemore did prepare somewhat but I suppose no amount of training is going to fully prepare a person for that particular job.

Not a job I would like to do again but if it has to be done, it has to be done.

deadwood

I don't remember being trained for it - but that's not to say it didn't happen!

I do remember the classic "Are you the widow Murphy? Well you are now!"

Esel

Mairt, the army way is:

"Right, you horrible little men! All those whose mother is still alive take one step forward! Not you, Murphy!"

meathstevie

That's actually the one situation I dread most. I know for a fact that if I scrape myself through training the day will come I'll have to knock on a door and tell people their beloved won't come home from work or the club or the whatever anymore...I honestly think no amount of training can prepare you for the real thing.

As my father in law who's retained fireman always says : "It's bad enough to have to do the cleanup, I wouldn't want to be the poor sod of a cop who gets to knock on the door."

I suppose on the other hand as TheNog more or less said. People will assume there's something very badly wrong when a squad car pulls up at the house completely unexpected and an officer walks up to the door.

ScubaDave

Not forgetting to remove your cap and high vis vest (according to your training)!

Stay_in_Kampuchea

deadwood wrote: »

I don't remember being trained for it - but that's not to say it didn't happen!

I do remember the classic "Are you the widow Murphy? Well you are now!"

Hahahahahahahahaha!

He used to sail the Irish Sea now he's underneth it.

Eru

Only once and the woman started crying as soon as she opened the door. The father came down the stairs, saw us standing there and simple asked "Which one is it guard and how bad?"

Horrible position to be in, they had 3 sons and lost 2 in accidents within a year of each other

arybvtcw0eolkf

Karlitosway1978 wrote: »

Only once and the woman started crying as soon as she opened the door. The father came down the stairs, saw us standing there and simple asked "Which one is it guard and how bad?"

Horrible position to be in, they had 3 sons and lost 2 in accidents within a year of each other

Wow, I read this as my 13yr daughter goes out to her first disco. A halloween teen disco in Coolock :eek: (my heart is in my throat).

Thanks for the replies guys.

Someone mentioned the army, we do it differently of course. A team goes to the home of the Next of Kin, usually the persons commanding officer, the barrack padre and a barrack personal support officer (any rank).

Its more or less the same for informing a person oversea's, but there's no formal training as such. If a person is on duty, or oversea's the first thing is to take him away from his weapon and into a quiet area away from the other lads. At this stage the other lads are informed so as the chap can be watched and supported until they're repatriated home.

TheNog

In our training we were told not to have a priest with us when breaking bad news. The reason for this is because some people do not like the priesthood but we would ask the family after the news is broken.

meathstevie

Mairt wrote: »

Wow, I read this as my 13yr daughter goes out to her first disco. A halloween teen disco in Coolock :eek: (my heart is in my throat).

Thanks for the replies guys.

Someone mentioned the army, we do it differently of course. A team goes to the home of the Next of Kin, usually the persons commanding officer, the barrack padre and a barrack personal support officer (any rank).

Its more or less the same for informing a person oversea's, but there's no formal training as such. If a person is on duty, or oversea's the first thing is to take him away from his weapon and into a quiet area away from the other lads. At this stage the other lads are informed so as the chap can be watched and supported until they're repatriated home.

That's a very thorough procedure you guys have in place Mairt.