Safety

LegacyUser

Hello,

Just a question I would like to put out there. I am single again after being in an eight year marriage and have just started to date. I have met some guys but I after a few dates I am afraid to invite them back to my place or go to their place in case something terrible will happen i.e. they will change and turn on me or something. Does anyone else have this fear?

Thank you.

White_Feather

I used to always think about that but, the best advice I can think of is go by your gutt feeling...If something is telling you not to go back, or your picking up a negative vibe do not go because everyone is usually right about their initial feelings!

sunnyside

In this day and age that is a reasonable concern. I wouldn't recommend going anywhere alone with someone you aren't completely comfortable with.

99.9% of people are not going to murder or rape anybody but I do understand where the concern comes from.

Carrigart Exile

Do not let the media ruin your life, they have just about done it for children, don't let it happen to you.

mumhaabu

I recommend the OP purchase a gun then you will feel safe.

zeus faber

Use your mobile phone to let someone know where your whereabouts

Curvy Vixen

Op I have been in a similar boat to you this year, dating since Feb after a 3 year marriage.

I have had many dates this year having met people on-line or through friends or once in the supermarket! Most have been one date, some have been two dates..I haven't been back with any of them until recently. For some reason that I can't fathom I trusted him. I didn't know him any better or worse than some of the others but it felt okay.

There is no 'right' answer to this sadly.

After talking/mailing/meeting someone and making sure you have taken sensible precautions like meeting them somewhere public etc you can really only go by your gut feeling.

But I'm with the other posters on this...don't let it ruin your life. You could be attacked at lunchtime in a Tesco car park. Just because you go home with someone after a night out you're not asking for trouble.

Wibbs

mumhaabu wrote: »

I recommend the OP purchase a gun then you will feel safe.

Hardly great advice to someone who probably lives in Ireland where the majority of people will never even see a real firearm in their lives, nor feel the need to carry one. Now on the off chance she lives in a country where firearms are available to the general public, its still not great advice, but a debate suited elsewhere. If it's a "joke" then....

af_thefragile

I'ld say then don't go to their place or don't invite them to your place till you're totally comfortable with them and know them well enough to take comfort in the fact that they're not gonna do anything to hurt or harm you intentionally.

Or you could take up some marshall arts and learn some basic self defense techniques so if the worst happens, you can atleast put up a fight and have some chance of escaping out of it.

Oh and also like the other guy mentioned, always let a friend or someone know your whereabouts before your go to meet a guy you haven't gotten to know well enough yet for a date.
So if anything happens, at least your friend will know how and where to get you.

Sumire

The best advice is definitely to just let people know where you are, for intance pick one friend who doesn't mind being disturbed late at night and text them to say you are going back to someone's and give as much information as possible. If you are more nervous than that, get that person to call you after your text so the guy hears you telling someone all the details. The same as most girls do if they have to get a taxi on their own. I'm sure it will all be grand once you get back into the swing of single life!