feeling down

zxcvbnm1

i ama 33 year old male living by myself.
I haven't snogged a girl in over 3 years. (generally not great with women due to being not all that confortable in approaching them in bars and the like and not having friends-of-friends possibilities)

I only once ever had a proper relationship with a girl - i was in college - that started 13 years ago and it lasted for 18 months. (wasn't even that gone on her)

I have a few friends - not many though.
If needs be i can drag up someone for a few pints on a weekend (which i frequently do) but generally that just temporarily fills a void just for the sake of passing time.

I lead a very mundane life. I go to work and come home after work and watch tv most days.
I repeat that most days.
Other days i may go to the cineam by myself.

Up until 3 years ago i had a good social networ through work combined with the few acquaintences i have.
.However i since left that job and have changed job frequently subsequently due to the nature of my work - as well as fiends having got hooked up.

i definitely am not depressed (despite how it may reads above) - although over the last few weeks i have gone down a slight notch.
And i really don't see any logocal reason why i should go back up a notch due to the lack of variety in my life.
For example - the very basic thing of going out as part of a coupel with another couple is smoething i heve never experienced.
It seems a million miles away in every sense.

I'm guessing a large majority of the population of my age have done this at some pont.

But i look around and all my few friends lives (a lot now acquaintences due to them getting on with their lives) have progressed.
Any extended friends lives have also moved on by them being involved in relationships.
As i said above i am not depressed - that said at this point i am fairly fed up. I think the whole thing has hit me recently. In fact i am more than fed up.
I don't see how my life will change in any way in the near to mid future (I will be at my current job for the next 12 months)
The best way of predicting the future is by viewing the result of your actions from the past. My normal general lifestyle of the past have proved fruitless.

I genuinley do think i have qute a bubbly personlaity - i also think i am fairrly attractive.
I know i definitely can come across quite coinfiedent (not all the tiem thoough - depends on the company)
Generally though i do.

I also believe i would be considered to some small extrent 'a catch'

I think my lac of experience with the ladies is also playing on my mind a lot for soem reason recently.

In a nutshell everyome else seems to have/had far more satisfaction from their lives that i do ( and with reason)
When i stand back and analyze it and realise that i am probably in the 1% or 2% of people that have basically nevxt to zero experience in a relationship 9given my age) it does naturally make me ask the question of mysef 'why me' - which isn't ideal really.
(when i say 'why me' i don't mean that to sound i got dealt a raw hand by chance - what i mean is it makes me analyze myself looking for a trait in my personality)

I have just re-read my post.

If it was someone elses p;ost i would thin things don't sound good.

Maybe it reads worse on the page.

Or else maybe it rerally is how it reads !!

In a nutshell i am bored - bored with life due to lack of company.
Paticularly feel unfilfilled due to lack of experience with women.

For me - staying single forever would be a nightmare.
While i am far from old - at 33 with next to no experience and no seemingly obvious avenues towards meeting women it is difficult to have genuine hope/confidence with teh sitiuation chanfging in the future.

Anyone else in the same boat !

And if so then why?

P.S> I need ti stay in my current job because it pays quite weel and i have a lot of debts.

COH

Theres nothing in your post to suggest that there is anything wrong with you that is outside your control.

Yes approaching girls is can be an ordeal the first few times. But it gets easier, and it becomes fun. Just bite the bullet and put yourself out there. You can't meet people if you don't try.

Its natural that friends settle down and see less of each other. Have you tried to make new friends? I know its advice that gets given here alot, but instead of sitting at home watching tv why don't you get active in clubs, sports, classes etc. You're bound to meet people, but only if you make an effort. You'll probably find there are many people out there in a similar predicament.

Jimmy Bottlehead

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/announcement.php?f=252

There's one way to meet people and start making new friends!

Carrigart Exile

Firstly, stop judging yourself against a criteria of having a girlfriend, you are much more than that.

Secondly, stop thinking women are from another planet, look upon them as men with long hair:D You do not have to enter into a 4 page dialogue with a girl when you first meet, just say hi the way you would with a guy.

BraziliaNZ

or maybe just try and be happy without women, maybe one will come into your life sooner or later you never know? They're not all they're cracked up to be anyway, once you get bored with the sex especially. They nag you a lot etc. Listen to your married friends when they tell you how lucky you are to be single, it's the good life I tell you.

Millie

Hey there, as a 35 year old female and with pretty much the same experience of relationships as yourself I hear what you are saying.
I would also see myself as pretty bubbly, not an ogre in anyway but it just doesn't seem to happen for me.

Sometimes it gets me down and of course I'd love to meet someone somedays, however I don't feel (well today ) that it's the end of the world.
I do really really feel that when the time is right then someone special will come along.

In the meantime try not to dwell on it as these thoughts will become bigger & more of an issue in your mind.