HSE and Social Workers!!

Yasmine

Im in care so ive a lot of social workers and care workers around me im just soooo sick of dem:mad: der all so mean 2 say the least ive been physically abused by the 'care' staff and contant metal abuse tellin me der gona take my child off me and dat im not a gud mother and ive proof of the horrible tings dey say bout me but der keepin it all hush hush i swear derl b a big write up in the paper bout de abuse dey give 2 young pple in carew!! Der such unhappy pple if dey feel the need to contantly upset others!!
any1 av any experience wit dem b4??

PeakOutput

report them

biko

Yasmine wrote: »

ive proof of the horrible tings dey say bout me but der keepin it all hush hush

If you have proof then report them as suggested.

Slow Motion

Yasmine wrote: »

Im in care so ive a lot of social workers and care workers around me im just soooo sick of dem:mad: der all so mean 2 say the least ive been physically abused by the 'care' staff and contant metal abuse tellin me der gona take my child off me and dat im not a gud mother and ive proof of the horrible tings dey say bout me but der keepin it all hush hush i swear derl b a big write up in the paper bout de abuse dey give 2 young pple in carew!! Der such unhappy pple if dey feel the need to contantly upset others!!
any1 av any experience wit dem b4??

Yes! My partner is a care worker and I could say exactly the same things about the kids she works with that you say about the care workers. If what you say is true, report them, I suspect however if we were to hear their side things might look different!

axel rose

Yasmine as a care worker I have to agree with the other posters-report any issue. Im kind of confused if your problem is with your care workers or your social worker, either way it doesnt make a difference.
Im sure that when you were first taken into care you were given all the information necessary on reporting complaints.
I can assure you all complaints are taken very seriously, and fully investigated.

The care staff dont have the authority to take your child from you. What exactly is being said in relation to your child? Has the social worker addressed concerns with you regarding your baby? On what grounds is the social worker threatening to take your baby into care? Let me assure you that noone can take your baby on the grounds that they 'dont like you'. There is a very strict procedure and it is seen as a last resort where all other interventions have not worked out.

However IF concerns were raised try and see if there is genuine issue. I advise you to take up any offer of help that you are given, it will strengthen your case that you are cooperating and may be a good source of support to you. (we're not all out to get you). Any way there is support out there for you It should be in your hand book.
Good Luck

LadyMayBelle

They aren't all out to get you, and as has been said before, they cannot just take your kid off you, it doesn't work like that! Perhaps youre best to clarify your problems and yes report if you feel its necessary.

axel rose

I agree Lady P, However the op feels that she is under attack, by making a complaint the situation can be clarified to her.

I get the impression she is quite young with a baby. I assume that she wants independance while the care team want her to stay in supervised accommodation and see how she copes in the early days. As for the other allegations noone here can comment but the complaints procedure is there to protect both staff and clients.
If the op is alleging abuse then the situation needs to be clarified for the protection of all concerned.

LegacyUser

Yasmine, I am sorry you feel as you do but this is not all about you anymore but your baby. I'm guessing that if you are still in care you are under 18. I am also guessing as you are in residential care that being fostered didn't work for you. That is a very unfair reality for you. I am sure you want more for your baby and as a mum do not want the same experience for your child. i am sure that there must be one of the care staff you have a good relationship with. You are angry and no doubt have a right to be but you seriously need to channel that anger in a safe way. If you do not, you will continue to feel that all the care staff and sociall workers are out to get you and remove your baby from you.

Use the supprorts that are being offered. Hard and unfair as it that you did obviously not have a good start in life you do have choices. Work with the supports. It is in the best interestd of your child to stay with you but it must be safe for the baby. Make the right choices. i wish you luck - it wont be easy but if yu want the very best for your little one you will accept the help on offer.

If you do feel that you are being at the receiving end of mental and or physical make a complaint directly to the manager of the residential centre or your social worker and ask for a Child in Care Review.

I wish you and your baby the best

tinabyrne5

So sorry to hear whats being happening to you.
I was in care 20 years back but things for me were quite different. I found the care staff very lovely people and helped guide me in the right direction.
A few of the other girls who were also in care were very abusive towards the social workers and staff which only made things harder on themselves.
I know things are hard right now but if you can try to settle down a bit and talk to the staff in a grown up manner you may gain their respect and things will calm down.
But if you are indeed being abused (physical or mentally) by the staff you have the rights to report it.

Yasmine

I have reported them but they deny everything they are playing mind games with me,
They are all nice two me in front of poeple and the behind my back they bitch bout me I've heard them and have proof of them effing and blinding bout me.

Every time I put in a complaint its not upheld because they deny things and back each other up when something wrong was said and done two me.

I just cant get through to anyone what they are like to me?? I've never been rowdy or anything, like I always stay calm but they purposely try to wind me up! They hate to see me happy and doing well for myself and i dont depend on them for anything and they hate that so they try and knock me down all the time and picking on stupid things you know!

Nevyn

Yasmine could you try not to use text speak please, it makes your posts very hard to read
and impossible for those those who have dyslexia ect.

Yasmine do you have a counsellor that you could go talk to about all this and about working on your self confidnece so no matter what gets siad it won't upset you as much so that you can get things sorted for self and the baby ?

Is there someone else you can lodge a report with ? how far up in the HSE have you tried ?

Would you consider finding out who your local T.D. is and what thier sitting office hours are and going to talk to them and get them to write a letter on your behalf or make some phone calls ?

tinabyrne5

I wonder if there is anyway they can transfer yourself and your baby to another home. It doesn't seem very fair that you are going through all this negativity at this time in your life.:(

Yasmine

im 17 and they are moving me out on my own because they know i wont give up on the way they are treating me and coz ive threatened to go to the newspapers with the proof i have of them speaking so bad about me and cursing bout me and 2 other girls that live in the house.
i dont like counsellers and i know the hse will interfere and try and get the counsellers reports as they have done so before??
well its gone up as far as the head social worker and the are manager of residential units but they stand by each other??
and i doubt a
t.d will do anything as at this time and moment the HSE dont need anymore shame brought on to them..........

axel rose

yasmine, I just want to get a couple of things clear so I apologise for asking dumb questions.
Are you saying that every member of the care team bitch about you behind your back? What exactly have you heard? Does this include your social worker? Is this the abuse that you are refering to?
Are you under 18?
Could you give some examples of the stupid things that they are picking on?
Have you been living there long?

It can be very frustrating growing up in care, in a regular home most kids have 1 or 2 adults to answer to, however in residential care you have the entire staff team. In life there are people that we get on with better than others, life in care is no different. I do know however Its hard to work with young people without caring about them a lot.....really!!

I still advise you to please follow your programme and speak to your keyworker about the areas that you are finding difficult.

Slow Motion

If it has gone as far as the area manager, it should be taken very seriously and I would be very surprised at them not taking it further. They frown very seriously on any sort of collusion among staff! If you have proof as you say and you are not being dealt with fairly, then you should go to your TD, the newspapers if you wish, or seek free legal aid from the citizens advice crowd or whatever they are called. You do have options wether you realise it or not.

axel rose

Yasmine, I have been trying to post a link to the IAYPIC, but Im too old to figure it out. If you google IAYPIC you should get the website. Im sure youve heard of them, if not, they are an organisation set up to be a voice and support to young people in care.

biko

http://www.iaypic.ie/

delly

Yasmine, you have mentioned in the first post physical abuse, but then specify verbal abuse later on. If it is physical abuse, how do they physically abuse you, or if its just verbal abuse, are you classing them talking in secret about you as verbal abuse, or do they verbally abuse you to your face?

The only reason I ask is to try and bring some form of clarification to such a serious allegation.

Yasmine

First of all i have been very reasonable in the house with all the staff, there are about 20 members of staff of which i get along with about 3. Ive been livin there 2 years
Second of all it was the manager of the house that physically abused me she grabed my two arms and squeezed them tight and didnt let go 4 at least 30 seconds the deputy manager was also there they then denied it ever happend.
And yes i have been to iaypic but they are funded by the hse and they tell them what to do and say.
And ive heard staff say some pretty awful thigs behind my back and also to my face i dont want to say it on this what was said though
They pick on how i mind my child even though they havnt kids themselfs! Which is why they like to pick on young mothers they hate to think that we are better mothers than them and some of them i think are very jealous and bitter people because hey cant have kids or find a man.
I hav my daughter in a creche like most mothers do.
Since ive had my child who is almost two ive had one nite out while i knwo other mothers that go out every weekend on the piss and yet the care workers and staff av the cheek 2 turn arond and say i spend no time with my daughter??????

axel rose

yasmine please describe the situation where the manager held your arms? I need to get this clear in my head.
Were you angry, shouting? Were you arguing? Did you have anything in your hands? Did you threaten to hit anyone, verbally or gesture?
How exactly did the manager hold you- was she standing in front of you or behind you?

Whether or not the staff have children is irrelevant Yasmine, Its a bit like suggesting that because you are young you are not a good parent.

You appear to be dismissive of all the organisations set up to protect you. I assure you that there is no collusion in the HSE. You appear to be angry that you are in residential care-I dont blame you, but there you are.

You state that you are no trouble but the staff clearly have concerns for your child, please stop being so dismissive and listen to what they have to say. Are these the awful things that you are refering to?
If the HSE have concerns about your child they will not and should not walk away just because you threaten to go the papers. Again I ask you listen to your carers.

Yasmine

She grabbed a hold of me she was very very aggresive, and no i wasnt shouting or cursing or being aggresive she had no right to do that to me and why did she deny it?? Because she knew she was wrong.....
I take offense that you think like that well u are a care worker yor brainwashed just like them.
and they have no concerns i dont drink, do drugs. im not an aggresive person, they just get a kick out of knocking my confidence I want people just like you to stop interferiing in my life thats all......

axel rose

ok yasmine
your social worker is wrong
your key worker is wrong
your care team is wrong
the complaints procedure is wrong
the IAYPIC is wrong
I am wrong

Are you seeing a pattern here? Your care team clearly have concerns, these concerns cannot be made up. Why would an entire team of professionals do that? Do you see what Im saying? Sometimes you hear things that are hard to take. This may be such an occasion. You clearly are an intelligent girl but you can still be your own worst enemy. What you may see as interfering by the HSE is actually support to both you and your child.

you have yet to confirm what you mean by 'awful things (being said) behind your back'. what were you discussing when your manager grabbed your arms?

Yasmine

So you dont believe that people can be so cruel no matter what career they are in?? No.... well ud want to start looking around you and see the truth and injustice youre oviously brainwashed by the same chain of people thinking your helping us when you clearly you can see we dont need it but you people hate to see peolpe like me so independent and not needing your so called 'help' by which yous think is critising people like me constantly because ypu think your always right....
Id say you have very low self esteem, you need to be in a position like this so you can bully children because i find most social care workers get a kick out of bulling young people you think you have power.
You must have been bullied yourself as a child:(........

axel rose

Jasmine, I find it difficult to believe that out of 20 professional carers, 17 bully you, in addition to this your social worker and her team leader are also out to get you. I also cant forget that the complaints procedure and the IAYPIC are also out to get you.

Yes I am the one who is brainwashed, yes all care workers and all social workers hate to see young people become independant.............or maybe you are hearing the same thing from your care team as you are from me.

Yes there are assholes in every industry but you are saying that everyone in your care team (bar three people) are bullying.

Be careful with your accusions you dont know me or my work and you have no right to call me a bully. I suggest you grow up and take good advice when it is offered, for the sake of you and your child.

By the way you didnt say what was being discussed when your manager grabbed your arms and did she hold you from the front or back? Despite your immature accusations about me I am still concerned about this allegation.

badabinbadaboom

Sometimes what can be offered as advise can sometimes seem abusive maybe take some time to reflect on yourself and what they are saying and maybe what you think is abuse is actually constructive criticsm.( i cant tell because you still havent told anyone what it was exactly they were saying about you

Yasmine

Axel Rose, if you find it so hard to believe why are you still writing back?? Maybe because you have nothing better to do you seem to always be on this?? I thought you had a job as a care worker although they do nothing anyway the staff in my unit just go on Bebo all day??

Iaypic are not out to get me they did listen and want to help but the HSE had their hands tied.

And no every one is not out to get me im sure they dont mean to be such bullies but they just have some unresolved childhood issues they maybe cant face up to and this job makes them feel good.

Also what was being discussed between me and the manager is really none of your business. Go get a boyfriend and a life will you, because you seem to have nothing better to do with your time then be on this questioning me????

And there not immature accusations its just the truth and none of yous seem to be able to face that..... I must have hit a nerve your getting very aggresive and defensive arent you-''Be careful with your accusions you dont know me or my work'' That is a threat. See your just like them throwing threats at me...thats not very nice
Maybe you need to talk to a counseller or somthing....yous are good at reccomending others to go and talk to someone when in fact I thinks its people like you that need help. It might help get rid of some of your anger and get out there and meet normal people in the world insted of being on this all day picking on young adults. Just think about, sit bak and take a good look at your own life before judging others...............

Nevyn

Yasmine personal abuse and attacking posters is not be tolerated on this forum, do it again and you will be banned.

I get that you are frustrated but you need to stop attcking those who are asking reasonable questions in order to try help you. If you do not want help or advice and you are just here to rant I suggest you get a blog.

Attol

Yasmine wrote: »

Also what was being discussed between me and the manager is really none of your business. Go get a boyfriend and a life will you, because you seem to have nothing better to do with your time then be on this questioning me????

People are asking questions because with more information they'll be able to give you advice relevant to your situation.

LegacyUser

Hi Yasmine

I agree with you whole heartedly. I have had cause to contact a social worker and their team leader in the past few weeks over concerns for my child in the care of their father.

I have met a brick wall, I spent an hour with other witnesses describing the incidents that led me to making a report and the social worker didnt write down one solitary note.

She also contacted my gp for info and when I asked what he had said she lied to my face and told me the total opposite. My GP is now dealing with this end of things.

I reported her to her Primary leader only to be told that I had received mixed messages from this person and to speak to the social worker yet again so I decided to report the whole sorry issue to the HSE direct by emailing yoursay@hse.ie.

I got a response almost immediately with a reference number, contact and phone number.

Finally someone is taking heed of my concerns.

I totally agree with your point that some of them arent worth diddly squat and my first and hopefully only experience of our Social system is a complete and utter let down.

I felt that my visit was a waste of time, my child was not listened too and it was too much effort to follow up.

I think this social worker would be more suited to working in a call centre where she goes in reads a script and goes home again.

She has almost destroyed my childs life by exposing him to further abuse due to her laziness.

So mail these guys I was delighted that they contacted me so quickly and it makes you feel that someone is "on your side"

tinabyrne5

Yasmine, please calm down. I know how you are feeling believe me!
You feel angry, lost and feel as if it's you against the whole world.

I don't mean to start an argument with you, that's my last intention but i know how much easier it is for you to lash out at the people that are trying to help you.

Granted, my experiences were not like yours. I got on with my key worker and all the care staff, met the occasional social worker and counselor and never had a problem with any of them but if I was i your situation I would take the advise given by the other posters.

At the end of the day, you are the one who is in this situation so you need to sort yourself out and with the advise given work out which way to handle it.

axel rose

Jasmine the fact is I was checking up on this thread because I was concerned for you. I have worked with young people for 15 years I do this because I like to help them and love to see them become confident, mature independent and happy in thier lives. I wanted to help you. Im sorry that you cant see that, Im even more sorry that when questioned you made an unfounded allegation about me - so yes how dare you! ( Is this the first time you did this?)

The fact is Jasmine that all new mothers recieve support when they first come home. I recieved support from the PHN, my GP, my friends and family. You are no different however you appear to be aggressive and fight against all advice, the choice is yours but if I was told to learn Japanese and wear a kimono in order to keep my son I would.

Ok now Im done helping you.......or maybe Im done bullying you....whatever. Have a nice life.

tinabyrne5

Axel, I'm a bit surprised by your reply.
With your training, I'm sure you know how this girl is feeling right now!
Just imagine being somewhere you don't want to be ...probably through no fault of your own. Abandoned, unloved, unwanted and misunderstood, not to mention angry!
I know you used the soft approach but were also very quick to give up!

Yasmine, the most important thing in your life right now is your daughter.
Focus all your time and energy on her. She is not going to be a baby for long, they grow up too fast.
You said that they were going to send you out on your own soon...Great!
Soon this will all be behind you.

axel rose

tina Im not at work, with my clients I know them and their background. and we regularly go beyond our call of duty to help them. This young lady does not answer questions that may show her in an unfavourable light. As you know the complaints procedure comes a lot of protection for the clients and responsibility for them too.

This young lady appears to think that she is entitled to throw out accusations when it suits her. I am chosing not to accept it when I am taking time out of my day to help her.

She appears to think that she should be free to do what she wants- noone can, we all need the experience of others at different times. She has already shown that despite the fact that she sees herself as reasonable she can be immature and abusive when she doesnt hear want she wants to.

How many more times do you think I should be called a bully? I tried to help her, she wants to hear that shes right and the system is out to get her. In fact she hasnt listened to anyones advice on this thread. What kind of help does she want?

tinabyrne5

Axel, I know what you are saying.
I don't know what would have become of my life if I didn't have the support that I needed but it still didn't stop me from feeling any less about the situation i was in. I had to work on that myself.

You told her straight off that you were a care worker and in her own way painted you with the same brush as the rest of the "HSE and Social Workers!!"

Does she want help?
Probably not!
May just want to blow off a bit of steam!

axel rose

Thanks for understanding Tina.

Spending any time in care is not ideal and in a perfect world I would not be needed. Im glad that you found your experience in care positive and can assure 'the public' that we're not a bunch of monsters.

I still hope that Yasmine can read through her thread and reflect on what was said.

Yasmine

Thank you Guest onurside for that email address.
And yes Tina, my daughter is always going to be my 1st priority. Im fighting to get justice for all the abuse mentally and phsically Ive had from care workers and SWs. Im a very strong person I will fight for my rights and I will not let people take advantage of me, hence, if this is the way HSE staff are towards me what are they doing to young vulnerable children who cant speak up for themselvs??
And yes Axel I have no problem with help and support from gps friends family whatever but the thing is I dont need it Im very indepentdent always have been and have practically rared three other children. I have more experince than all the staff in my 'mother and baby unit' when I gave birth to my daughter when living in the unit none of the CARE WORKERS had a clue how to make a babys bottle they taught they could use water from a kitchen tap to make a babys bottle, they didnt know how to put on a nappy they put it on backwards I had to show them how to do everything, so thank god I already knew. So tell me where was their support I taught them everything about looking after babies and Im still teaching them things they never knew like having your child drinking out of a cup by 1 as a bottle is bad for their teeth after that age, when I told them that they turned around and said no thats wrong you shouldnt be doing that, now they turn around and critizise how I parent my child when I doa very good job! Do you see now why I think the HSE is a joke and why I dont need their support although they dont even know how to do that!! They always hated the fact that I knew more about babies than them as I said before they hate that Im so independent......
Im complaining to get the whole service sorted out so that they know the right way in giving support not getting ratty because we know more than babies about them? They pick on other things to make me look bad because they expected a 15 year old not to have a clue they were embarrest that tey grown women didnt have a clue and they have the cheek to work in a mother and baby unit.........

abi2007

Yasmin, what happens when your 18? and when are you 18? do you get housed on your own or do you have to find somewhere? why do you think they're going to take your kid, did anything happen that would give them a reason? why is your kid in crech are you working or in school?

mikeala

axel rose wrote: »

Yasmine, I have been trying to post a link to the IAYPIC, but Im too old to figure it out. If you google IAYPIC you should get the website. Im sure youve heard of them, if not, they are an organisation set up to be a voice and support to young people in care.

hi yasmine i have grandchildren in care do you know children in care

Yasmine

hi mikela, yeh I know a few my own age that are in care.

Piste

Can you tell the 3 carers that you get on with about the bullying from the other staff members? Do you think they would take it seriously? Have you tried talking to the arers that bully you about their actions and attitude, like calmly explaining that you find their comments towards you rude and offensive, for example?

Yasmine

see....the truth is coming out now about how the hse care homes are run..........