Upset, Confused, Dissapointed

LegacyUser

This is going to be a long one...

I have been with my partner for quiet a long time, over 5 years and we have been very happy during this time, well at least thats what i thought until last weekend and the beginning of this week...

I'll start at the beginning or well what i think is the beginning - my partners father died earlier in the year and it had a big effect on her - he had been ill for quiet a while before he passed

She had been very down in the months afterwards but over the past couple of months she seemed to be getting back to herself and was happier

We went to a friends birthday at the weekend and back to their house for a party that went on until it was bright... There were alot of us there, maybe 15 - 20 people and i was delighted to see my GF enjoying herself and well, having a laugh

Most of the people there are friends of mine and one guy has just returned from been abroad for a few year - we were never close friends, more he was a friend of a friend who was part of our group when we were younger

Anyways, the party was good fun and we left for home when we were eventually wrecked. It was the next day that i felt my GF was acting very strange, she left the house to go to her brothers soon after we woke up and didnt return for hours. Then during the week she was very distant, so much so i wondered if i had done something to upset her at the party so i asked us if we were ok - she kept saying - of course, everythings grand...

This was until today when i accidentaly discovered what had her so distant. I wont go into details but what happened was my GF and the Guy i mentioned before hit it off very well a week or so before when i had brought her to my home town - they had never met before and then hit it off again at the party to the extent where they were holding hands, talking about how attracted they were to each other but couldnt do it to me, shared a short kiss and seemingly that was that...

I confronted my GF earlier and she admitted what had happened and said it was a drunken mistake and was sorry - 'didnt want to throw away us' etc...

This got us talking and she said that perhaps we needed a break from each other and that her head/mind wasnt in a good place at the moment - she hadnt gotten over her father, she was depressed, didnt see the point in anything...

So we talked and talked and in the end she decided not to take a break from us and to stay but that we would talk about everything from now on

Thing is, im still fairly upset, hugely confused and dissapointed in her - the trust thing is massive (dont get me started on the other guy, i will have to use all of my willpower not to hammer the cocky, little pric)

All in all, i havent a clue what to do or even if i should do anything, so any advice would be greatly appreciated - cheers

AARRRGH

Personally I don't think relationships ever really recover from cheating.

My advice to you is this: if she meets or tries to meet this guy again, dump her. It'll save you from a very long, painful, drawn out break up.

It kind of sounds like she was trying to form a relationship with him. Not good!

Grawns

Grief can mess people up. Give her the benefit of the doubt, just this once. Let her know how upset, confused and disappointed you are and keep the lines of communication open. Grief mixed with alcohol could lead her down a very self destructive path.

Redpunto

In one line shes saying it was a drunken mistake and then blaming the bereavement,, her head is probably messed up but that is when you turn to your partner,,not look outside the relationship. I think a quick snog would be easier to get over than the whole holding hands and disclosing how attracted they were to one another. Make sure you are in control and let her know this is her last chance.