Really need advice

LegacyUser

Hi all, I will try to keep a long story as short as possible.

I met a girl from another country about 3 years ago, we clicked right away, so much so i ended up moving over there for a good few months but finding work was difficult so i was forced to move back etc.
She was in college in her country and i was working over here and for a time we had a long distance relationship with her coming over here etc the odd time. Now i should mention that she is a good few years younger then i am and this was her first serious relationship.
We got on great, until we started getting a bit addicted to the internet for communication and in particular an online game. Now before this i had been very romantic and showed my interest in her a lot, but as the years went on and she got more and more involved with the game, i grew more distant and didnt pay as much attention to her as i felt the game was an equal partner and she devoted as much time to it as she ever did to me.

I put on a bit of weight over the years as our lifestyle became dramatically less active, and I was the sole person with a job, even during the times she spent months here so the entire financial burden was mine, flights, food, everything, and everyday i came home from work she would be there playing the game. And it got to me more then i realised as i didnt really pay her the attention she wanted and i didnt get the attention i wanted either.
Anyway just last summer i spent a considerable amount for us to go away on holidays etc and it was great, like old times, no game, no work, just us. Everything was bliss.
Then we got back and she went back to college in her country and i was back in work, 2 weeks later she told me she wanted a break because she was young and hadnt exeprienced much etc and i agreed with this, i had told her this before.
But then i found out the real reason, she had begun talking to a guy online who she had never met, who had showed her his picture and she thought he was good looking and she wanted to be with him.
She then kindly informed me that i wasnt attractive to her anymore because i was 'fat' and i said if thats the case i dont want a break we should end it, which she happily agreed to. Less then 2 weeks after this she met up with this guy and they are going out.

Now maybe i am a bit dramatic, but this doesnt seem to be a decent thing to do to someone who was there for you when nobody else was and who supported you financially for a long time, and is ending it with someone because they have put on a bit of weight, and you never tell them, not a bit shallow and very harsh?
She still wants to be friends, so she claims, but im not so sure. I fully admit my faults, i didnt pay her the attention she deserves and its true that she is yound and needs to mature but she will not accept any blame for getting addicted to the game and also for lying to me about the real reason we broke up.
What should i do basically?

Lockstep

Granted you should've paid more attention to her etc but the idea of you going out and working while she stayed home all day online gaming is a bit odd.

Did she ever mention you losing weight before springing it on you as a reason she found you unattractive?
At any rate, dumping you for a guy she met online is also a bit strange.


Sounds like your best out of this to be honest.

Wagon

That's one of the most bizarre things I've ever heard on PI and another reason to loath World of Warcraft (if it isn't WOW, I don't care I still hate that game)

She sounds young, so I'd give the advice I've been given by mates in the past.
"Don't bother your hole"

Breaking up with someone cos of them putting on weight is grand, but it also shows how bloody shallow they are and ungrateful of how you supported them. Anyway, internet romance is a dodgy area. I'd run a mile.

beth-lou

I'd let her go. You deserve better.
What did she do for you?
You worked, paid her way, paid for her holiday, while she was gaming the whole time, or going to college, or mailing some stranger...Seriously, what did she do for you?

Stop gaming, get out and do some excercise, and meet some nice people. You sound lovely, she sounds young, selfish, shallow and a bit foolish. All of which she may grow out of, but why should you wait? She left oyu fro someone els and she had the gall to call you fat. well you should have told her she was a selfish, two timing free loader, andboring to boot as all she did was sit in front of the computer.

Seriously, you're better off. x

Peewee_lane

OP, realistically, she was using you all along, and now some other smhuck is paying for her flights.

Get your ass off the chair and into a gym, get fit and get your life back on track.

By the way, what game was it? I'm dying to know.

Get fit!

jim o doom

Well the relationship is over - and based on how she treated you and the end of the relationship - I would STRONGLY suggest a fully clean break. No contact. You will have unresolved feelings & issues about the whole thing & justifiably feel a bit hard done by, as she went behind your back & went so far as to call you unattractive due to weight (regardless of whether or not it's true, it's still cruel - especially if you are saying to someone you are breaking up with). Just tell her you want nothing to do with her anymore, and get your life back in order. Clean breaks are the only way in my book.

Peewee_lane

Your the man for me then Jim!

I must be the only woman I know that supports clean breaks. Its the only painless way... really!

LegacyUser

Thanks all for your replies.
It was world of warcraft, good guess!
Yeah i guess you can never see the truth of a lot of things until other people say it to you, i kind of knew if wasnt right with what was happening but at the same time i tried to change things a few times but it always went back the same way.
I really know i shouldnt but i cant help feeling totally useless and a bit pathetic that this happened to me, i know i had my faults fully admit it but i really didnt see it coming, didnt think she would be harsh enough to treat me like that.

beth-lou

Peewee_lane wrote: »

Your the man for me then Jim!

I must be the only woman I know that supports clean breaks. Its the only painless way... really!

Nope, I support them too.
Trying to be friends with an ex just holds you back.