My PETTY traffic light concerns

jessbeth

Hi folks

This is really pathetic I know but something that has really come to my attention lately.

How do traffic lights work? Are they controlled by evil little men in blue boxes who watch gleefully from a distant. I'm asking this as a pedestrian. I'm a spritely young thing and have noticed of late that I nearly have to do a sprint for the finish to get across a road here before the green man stops flashing. I hate to think how the old people do it.

Secondly I go to cross the road on a busy city centre road and I'm being nice and waiting for the little green man so when he appears I make a mad dash for the other side only to be nearly blown to smithereens by a car racing around the corner and he has the nerve to be beeping at me even though I have the green man.

I'm becoming a disallusioned pedestrian.

But seriously I'm curious to know who controls the traffic lights.

MagicMarker

jessbeth wrote: »

But seriously I'm curious to know who controls the traffic lights.

DeVore

Vain

Never trust the little green men they are evil.

stovelid

I've always assumed that the button was a placebo job for some pedestrian crossings (say, at very busy roads) and that these crossings were on a timer.

Somebody will know, I'm sure.

Karoma

They're controlled by the governmentz. They keep young people fit and reduce the number of elderly roaming our streets, leaching the welfare.

jessbeth

MagicMarker wrote: »

DeVore

I'm swallowing my pride here and asking who is Devore when he is in residence?

veryangryman

I was gonna do my own thread on this but ill say it here...

I dont get why people hit the traffic light button on quiet short crossings with little to no traffic. Wastes petrol and time between idling.

Fair enough for old/infirmed people on busy streets but other than that you should be shot

jessbeth

Karoma wrote: »

They're controlled by the governmentz. They keep young people fit and reduce the number of elderly roaming our streets, leaching the welfare.

Oh so they're undercover agents used to cut obsesity health care costs and pension funding. Ah ha. I see

stovelid

jessbeth wrote: »

I'm swallowing my pride here and asking who is Devore when he is in residence?

http://www.teamdevore.com/images/devore_wcl.jpg

MagicMarker

jessbeth wrote: »

I'm swallowing my pride here and asking who is Devore when he is in residence?

The question is not who is DeVore, but what is DeVore.

No one really knows, as no one has actually seen him in the flesh.

Boards is basically just Equilibrium in the making.

jessbeth

veryangryman wrote: »

I was gonna do my own thread on this but ill say it here...

I dont get why people hit the traffic light button on quiet short crossings with little to no traffic. Wastes petrol and time between idling.

Fair enough for old/infirmed people on busy streets but other than that you should be shot

I like your username

markpb

jessbeth wrote: »

I'm a spritely young thing and have noticed of late that I nearly have to do a sprint for the finish to get across a road here before the green man stops flashing. I hate to think how the old people do it.

Don't they teach the green cross code to you young uns anymore?

On the green light, you can start crossing.
On the amber light, you can continue crossing if you have already started.
On the red light, you can cross if you think you can make it.

Old people know they have time to hobble across taking the entire green time and amber time because they're set that way (by the local authority). In the event that they don't make it, they can continue hobbling on because even taxi drivers don't have the temerity to beep an old person.

jessbeth

markpb wrote: »

Don't they teach the green cross code to you young uns anymore?

On the green light, you can start crossing.
On the amber light, you can continue crossing if you have already started.
On the red light, you can cross if you think you can make it.

Old people know they have time to hobble across taking the entire green time and amber time because they're set that way (by the local authority). In the event that they don't make it, they can continue hobbling on because even taxi drivers don't have the temerity to beep an old person.

Ah I get it, thanks

I suppose the older people are more expensive to repair too so it would really hike up the insurance if you hit one of them.

Karoma

jessbeth wrote: »

Oh so they're undercover agents used to cut obsesity health care costs and pension funding. Ah ha. I see

Oo
You're nuts. I said they were controlled by, not actually are ... jesus; this place does get some fruity people. Weirdo.

Run_to_da_hills

Now that the Governments medical card campaign has failed. They are going to put foreward the timing in the visually impaired beeper by 20 seconds. This will hopefully reduce the number of elderly in the country by about 20%.

Mr. Incognito

They're controlled by YORE MA!

(Come on, we all knew it was coming.)

I'm swallowing my pride here and asking who is Devore when he is in residence?

If you're swallowing, you've already met him.

Karoma

SetantaL wrote: »

They're controlled by YORE MA!

(Come on, we all knew it was coming.)

(Re)Read the charter before posting again.

markpb

jessbeth wrote: »

I suppose the older people are more expensive to repair too so it would really hike up the insurance if you hit one of them.

LOL

stovelid

SetantaL wrote: »

They're controlled by YORE MA!
(Come on, we all knew it was coming.)

Yes; we just hoped it wasn't.

Korvanica

markpb wrote: »

Don't they teach the green cross code to you young uns anymore?

On the green light, you can start crossing.
On the amber light, you can continue crossing if you have already started.
On the red light, you can cross if you think you can make it.

Old people know they have time to hobble across taking the entire green time and amber time because they're set that way (by the local authority). In the event that they don't make it, they can continue hobbling on because even taxi drivers don't have the temerity to beep an old person.

So do they gather a load of old people together every so often to time them walking across the road and then set the time of the green/amber light cycle to the time of the slowest old person in the area? :rolleyes:

That'd be an idea.

They could have a race...

jessbeth

SetantaL wrote: »

They're controlled by YORE MA!

(Come on, we all knew it was coming.)



If you're swallowing, you've already met him.

Ehh GULP I think

Ok so the answer is that Devore controls the Irish traffic light system. I will keep an eye out for him.

markpb

Korvanica wrote: »

So do they gather a load of old people together every so often to time them walking across the road and then set the time of the green/amber light cycle to the time of the slowest old person in the area? :rolleyes:

Actually the speed of an old person hobbling across the road is as scientifically well-defined as the kilogram or newton. Every year all the local authorities synchronise their traffic lights against a old person hobbling around a room in CERN timed by an atomic clock.

RobertFoster

Boring/technical answer and picture....

Otherwise, yes the traffic faeries. There's 4 of them to each set. One red, one amber, one green and one that goes "beep beep beep" all the time. The one that beeps fancies the red one something rotten and beeps like mad when she sees him. True story, a lollipop lady told me once.

jessbeth

RobertFoster wrote: »

Boring/technical answer and picture....

Otherwise, yes the traffic faeries. There's 4 of them to each set. One red, one amber, one green and one that goes "beep beep beep" all the time. The one that beeps fancies the red one something rotten and beeps like mad when she sees him. True story, a lollipop lady told me once.

Douze points pour RobertFoster.

Seriously thanks though, I really didn't know what controlled them besides the faeries that is.

inforfun

veryangryman wrote: »

I was gonna do my own thread on this but ill say it here...

I dont get why people hit the traffic light button on quiet short crossings with little to no traffic. Wastes petrol and time between idling.

Fair enough for old/infirmed people on busy streets but other than that you should be shot

Hitting the button while there is no need for it, is the pedestrian revenge for having to wait at a crossing, without lights, for ages and discovering that not a single motorists even thinks about stopping in order to let you cross the street.
I do it a lot. Traffic jam on Navan Road? I pushed the button

BaconZombie

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQRTElWH42A

Vain wrote: »

Never trust the little green men they are evil.

Red Alert

In Ireland they're usually controlled by a box on the side of the road that some scanger kicks occasionally.

Silenceisbliss

ah, that would be the auld programmable logic control at work. or plc as we like to call it...har har :cool:

faceman

jessbeth wrote: »

I'm swallowing my pride here and asking who is Devore when he is in residence?

Devore is the creator of the internet. He's touching 76 now and many speculate that he has lost his ways since he received the John Carmack/Michael Abrash award for bravery on Scourge of Armagon campaign where he received in injury to this thumb in the 90's resulting in him unable to fully use his right hand since hence his low xbox Gamerscore.

Devore wasnt always computer literate, he used to be known as Professor Devon in UCD, where when he wasnt teaching Spanish literature, he was cultivating apples in his Orchard on his massive farm in Louth.

He now lives in a big house, floating somewhere off the Atlantic and sleeps on a bed of money. He's good with Powerpoint though.

blackbox

Karoma wrote: »

Oo
You're nuts. I said they were controlled by, not actually are ... jesus; this place does get some fruity people. Weirdo.

So Jesus only controls the traffic lights, but is not actually the traffic lights.

Can I use use you as a reference in my divinity exams? It goes against the doctrine of "ominpresence".

Zangetsu

I actually figured out that they are controlled by a guy named george. If you speak to him nicely, all your lights will be green.

FACT.

knird evol

jessbeth wrote: »

Hi folks

But seriously I'm curious to know who controls the traffic lights.

Thomas Gabriel

thefinalstage

veryangryman wrote: »

I was gonna do my own thread on this but ill say it here...

I dont get why people hit the traffic light button on quiet short crossings with little to no traffic. Wastes petrol and time between idling.

Fair enough for old/infirmed people on busy streets but other than that you should be shot

Get the hell out of here clone