Getting on with your life

LegacyUser

It seems like some sort of cosmic joke, but from my perspective at least it seems that while homo sapiens search for meaning and purpose in existence, many going to the point of claiming that they have found it, there is no meaning in their existence. The phrase get on with your life is perhaps one of the most asinine and useless I have ever encountered, and yet somehow it has come to be accepted as a valid response to any sort of ontological question. The simple fact is that I would get on with my life if I thought for a moment that doing so was any more than following a ridiculous ritual which will ultimately grind me into the dust anyway. None of the goals which I am expected to live for seem in the slightest bit worthwhile, nor do they motivate me in any way. I think I reached the edge of the precipice recently when somebody very close to me whose opinion I valued answered me, when posed with a question about the meaning and purpose of their existence, that they are too busy living to think about why they live. It sums up for me the view most of the people I have encountered subscribe to. To cut what could be an even longer post short, I am slowly stealing my nerve in order to go against one of the most fundamental human instincts, self preservation. It is getting easier every day.

andrew

None of the goals which I am expected to live for seem in the slightest bit worthwhile

Find something you feel worth living for then. Don't get on with it. Try your best to make it better. I don't know what that might be though, I suppose only you know that.

Probably not gonna help you out, but you're not the only one who feels like that, i assure you.

As far as im concerned, life is all just a big, awkward waste of time. I really don't understand how people can't see this. I don't understand the whole purpose behind it.

Get an education.
Get a job.
Get married.
Have kids.
Die.
Repeat.



I don't understand it. I don't see why some people are so optimistic.


Although, as Sci-Fi as this will sound.. I DO think there is a purpose for life. There is a goal you have to achieve or something. I don't believe in god or anything, but when i think about life in general, i cant see how this is all that there is to it. Everything is so corporate. Everyone is essentially the same in every way.

Everyone has a CV. Everyone conforms to what governments want. Everyone can be born/killed the same way.


I just don't get the idea behind it. It doesn't make sense. But hey, what does make sense?

[Jackass]

Life can often feel shallow, meaningless, directionless and inconsiquential at times.

I mean, it's Sunday night, I have to go to work tomorrow in a job that I don't like, yet feel trapped as I need money to live and there is no work out there. My job doesn't make any difference to the world what so ever. Then there are relationships, friendships, family. If you don't have close ties (and many people don't) then these can seem worthless too.

I know how you feel OP, depression is a very difficult thing to deal with and maybe people who are slightly less blinkered should I say, are possibly more prone to it. You grow up, you're expected to work and contribute for 50 odd years then retire and wait to die. Your youth and energy gone. For somebody else. Who knows who.

You need to try and find something meaningful to focus on. People is always a good one and can often give you hope. Try to talk to a professional. They wont give you answers but they can help. All else failing, do something radical with your life. Go to Africa / Asia to do charity work and you'll see the everyday smallest things to you and me can mean so much pleasure, joy and happiness to the most deprived of this world. Maybe it'll open your eyes to see there are some things worth living for.

Good luck with it anyway. You shouldn't have to do anything you don't want to do, but you have responsabilities to your friends, family and people closest to you who love you to try and carry on.

Ending your life could make somebody elses unlivalbe. Wouldn't you prefer to carry the burden as at least you can keep searching for something worthwhile? That in its self is a goal.

[Jackass]

Deleted User wrote: »

Probably not gonna help you out, but you're not the only one who feels like that, i assure you.

As far as im concerned, life is all just a big, awkward waste of time. I really don't understand how people can't see this. I don't understand the whole purpose behind it.

Get an education.
Get a job.
Get married.
Have kids.
Die.
Repeat.



I don't understand it. I don't see why some people are so optimistic.


Although, as Sci-Fi as this will sound.. I DO think there is a purpose for life. There is a goal you have to achieve or something. I don't believe in god or anything, but when i think about life in general, i cant see how this is all that there is to it. Everything is so corporate. Everyone is essentially the same in every way.

Everyone has a CV. Everyone conforms to what governments want. Everyone can be born/killed the same way.


I just don't get the idea behind it. It doesn't make sense. But hey, what does make sense?

I agree and disagree. To me, the most depressing thing is that nothing matters. It doesn't matter if you get up in the morning or you stay in bed. It doesn't matter if you work or live on the streets. It doesn't matter if you're rich or poor. The begining and end are the same. It's just what you do with your life that defines you. But the shackles we have all imposed on ourselves with what society expects us to do and what we need to do to survive sqaunders the majority of this "journey of discovery" for want of a better word. For what? Or for who? What's the point in doing all of this? I don't know, but something seems wrong with it all anyway. But maybe we're to unevolved to understand or something. Maybe it's beyond our comprehention. But you just have to find positives to motivate you and get on with it while you wait around here.

Karen_*

OP your post is very hard to read and I feel like I've stumbled into some sort of profound debate about the meaning of life that could go on into infinity.

You need to seek your own meaning to life. No one can tell you what it is as each person is different. If you're feeling hopeless and miserable then maybe you need to be treated for depression or make some lifestyle changes.

[QUOTE=[Jackass]]The shackles we have all imposed on ourselves with what society expects us to do and what we need to do to survive sqaunders the majority of this "journey of discovery"[/QUOTE]


Well said.

pretty-in-pink

Why does there need to be a big secret reason for everything? If you believe that we each have a purpose to fill out during our time here, then great, if you think we're only here as some sort of experiment, then thats great too.

Whatever you believe, just learn not to take it all so seriously. Life is for living, and in teh grand scale of things we are not here for terriblely long- so I live by:

I'm here for a good time, not for a long time
Live in each moment for that moment

You just need to be able to trust that what will be will be, and not go reading to much into things, plus you can never really know what effect you have on someones life, it could be nothing to you but their whole world could change. There is so much good out there, that to turn your back on it seems very rash. If you have clinicil depression,then see someone about it. Otherwise, stop analyising the meaning of life, and get out there and live it!

LegacyUser

There is no reason why we are here. But the only thing we can do with life is enjoy it, while we can. We do all end up dead at the end of it all but life really is a gift. And we do have to make the most of it. It feels good to feel good. So I try to concentrate on having a good time and doing the things that make me feel happy. Like watching a film I like, enjoying my food, seeing the world, reading, having sex, listening to music, eventually having kids.
I know they might not have a great effect on the world at the end of the day, or have and real meaning, but they have made me feel good. The only reason I go to college and get a job is so I can afford to experience the good things. Someday I will go with my OH, and kid, and live in the countryside in the middle of nowhere and paint and enjoy what I like. Life is not pain but society is.
The simple things really are the best. You just have to do what makes you happy. It really confuses me how people can just go out and find a job that will do and stay with a partner that they dont even love, just be with them cause its easier, get a mortgage, and not ever do what really makes them happy.
Its not life OP, its society.
Ive just finished reading Trainspotting OP, and it makes a good point about all this. We all know the "choose... choose... choose... etc choose life" speech from it. And it really made me think more about all this. If they're happy being heroine junkies and lying at home all day smashed off their faces then why not. As they said, at least all they have to worry about is their next hit, and not how they can put bread on the table, pay their bills, worry about jobs etc.
Basically just do what you can to have fun and get your kicks and don't worry about the other ****e.

Miacc

[Jackass] wrote: »

Life can often feel shallow, meaningless, directionless and inconsiquential at times.

I mean, it's Sunday night, I have to go to work tomorrow in a job that I don't like, yet feel trapped as I need money to live and there is no work out there. My job doesn't make any difference to the world what so ever. Then there are relationships, friendships, family. If you don't have close ties (and many people don't) then these can seem worthless too.

I know how you feel OP, depression is a very difficult thing to deal with and maybe people who are slightly less blinkered should I say, are possibly more prone to it. You grow up, you're expected to work and contribute for 50 odd years then retire and wait to die. Your youth and energy gone. For somebody else. Who knows who.

You need to try and find something meaningful to focus on. People is always a good one and can often give you hope. Try to talk to a professional. They wont give you answers but they can help. All else failing, do something radical with your life. Go to Africa / Asia to do charity work and you'll see the everyday smallest things to you and me can mean so much pleasure, joy and happiness to the most deprived of this world. Maybe it'll open your eyes to see there are some things worth living for.

Good luck with it anyway. You shouldn't have to do anything you don't want to do, but you have responsabilities to your friends, family and people closest to you who love you to try and carry on.

Ending your life could make somebody elses unlivalbe. Wouldn't you prefer to carry the burden as at least you can keep searching for something worthwhile? That in its self is a goal.

so you're not really a jackass;). Op, I think about that question nearly everyday too. I have never considered finishing my life, but I do get asking that question. it's hard to know what's going on for you from just that post, but i get the impression you feel alienated and apathetic, but as jackass said, there is always something worth living for. it might not come straight away, but things do change and if you hold out it will change. you can then at the very least be proud of yourself for being determined to hope for something. That takes huge courage when you feel like that, but if you're brave enough to hope, you've already got something to live for. You need to emerse yourself in good ideas, give yourself a chance. You know the saying Life can only be lived forwards, but only understood retrospectively. Dont take yourself out before you get the chance to answer some of your own questions. I hope this post doesnt sound corney to you, Im not just an optimistic idiot, i promise you.

nyarlothothep

Hmmm, was thinking about human extinction today and life being a relentless competitive struggle against other humans. Imo we are existentially rewarded for long term thinking, insight, rationality and empathy. Creating negative historical conditions tends to haunt the perpetrators and establishes a loop of negativity between respective parties. However proactive action and long term planning with a sense of human justice, these are in general beneficial to our survival. Unity and strength, global co-operation etc reduces the risk of extermination from nuclear war. Therefore I think that our interaction with nature suggests a positive approach for continued prosperity and survival. Its up to us as species whether to capitalize on it. However the challenge is for us to adjust our thinking, some more than others. Sorry if that was a bit off topic.

tbh

you're over-thinking the situation. Why does there need to be a reason we are here? Is it not enough that we are? Relax

LegacyUser

Just because you think there's no meaning to other peoples' lives, doesn't mean it's true. And what makes you think you have to follow a ridiculous ritual just to live your life? There's nothing stopping you from getting away from all these people who are giving you asinine responses and living in the Gobi desert for ten years etc so you can find your reason for living (you can insert your own escape..... other than suicide, suicide is a cop out when it seems you are bored with your life).
Your post reeks of self pity and pomposity, you might think that you're giving all those happy people who are living their happy lives a real shake up. Let me tell you, a lot of people have been through the darkest times you can imagine to get to the balanced state they're in now. Your musings are like water off a duck's back to them

Sonderval

None of the goals which I am expected to live for seem in the slightest bit worthwhile

May I ask what these goals are?

If they are the prescribed course as dictated by society (find mate, marry, pop sprogs, work to 60, die) then I can easily see the lack of appeal.

No, the real cheese in life is not living for the sake of living, but rather giving your life direction. If your goals don't motivate you, your thinking too small. Why not try to be exceptional?

"Know well what leads you forward and what holds you back" - Buddha

Piste

Instead of looking for meaning, the first question you have to ask yourself is do you believe a meaning exists? If you don't believe a meaning exists, well then you've just saved yourself a lot of time and effort searching for one! You only goal should be happiness and your life's "meaning" or "purpose" should just be to be as happy as possible (but not at others' expense of course)

Freethinker

the thing about looking for a meaning for life is it goes by while your looking and then who knows whats after it. just live the life, death is probably sh!t anyway making suicide an inherently stupid thing to do.

LegacyUser

For what its worth, OP, I know exactly how you feel. I feel the very same at times. Sometimes living feels like just existing, because the things that most other people enjoy/aspire to just dont motivate ot inspire you. What are you to do? Snap out of it? Start 'living' ?- unfortunately it doesnt work so easily. To someone in this state to mind you cant force it on yourself.

Sure there are people in far worse situations, but thats someone elses reality. This is his/her reality, thats all that matters.

To the OP, keep searching and have faith in yourself and who you are, im sure you will find answers and a higher meaning.

RossFixxxed

1) Most people don't go looking for a meaning, they're too busy living: working, eating, sleeping, going out etc. And those that do, what do they find? Sitting on a mountaint top for 40 years...? Come on really, you're looking for the trees in a forest.
2) You sound like you suffer from depression, go to the GP or
2a) Cop on and go for a walk.

R

tbh

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.

SpookyDoll

There is no meaning to life, or at least none that we can see, so what.
Why waste your time worrying about it?
Dont bother, while you sit worrying and pondering all that existential cr*p real life is passing you by!

Dont conform to the prescribed course then if you dont want to, what difference does it make if you dont? None!

Please yourself, be hedonistic but without harming anyone else, thats the way I see it. Dont judge others if they want to be part of the rat race, thats their decision.

I personally find a great freedom in the fact that nothing matters. Well, I will qualify that a small bit, nothing matters except not hurting other people.

But so what if we are all the same, just like little beetles or ants rushing around concerned with trivia and meaningless survival!

Its liberating to know that you dont have to prove yourself/make your mark/be different/leave great work behind etc etc

All those desires are based in ego and I believe ego is an illusion, it exists only in our own minds. No one actually sees us as we think they do anyway. No one thinks deeply about others the way they do about themselves, thats just human nature. Ego and the desires of the ego are irrelevant.

Do what makes you happy and forget about looking for meaning. Its just a waste of precious time.